Nobody Cares that there are things on my bucket list that, unless by some great fortune of luck, I win the Mega millions on some stormy future night...there are yes, two things that I will never do:
1. Be able to tell you what abalone taste like.
2. Be able to buy my best friend a dog just like this one. She took one look, and it was love. And she has expensive taste because he is the most expensive dog in the world at $1.6 million dollars. (Her taste in shoes is much more reasonable.)
And let's just say, that winning the lottery would not be enough. Even if I COULD afford a mutt this adorable, you would have to become a billionaire just to feed him, because he eats...abalone, which is $70 a pound. Big Splash here weighs 180 pounds...over a lifetime, he could eat his cost in abalone easily. And let's not forget the security system on your house alone, and the body guard you would need to walk him...it could add up.
These dogs like to watch TV..so you would have to get big screens, probably their own room...okay...you get the picture.
My friend Pattie is the one who got me into this mess. You see, I found out what a good cook she was, and so I started looking up things she had never cooked before, and came across Abalone in a book.
I was trying to impress her..."So, I bet you've never cooked Abalone!"
So, we went searching for it, and when we couldn't find it at the local stores, we said, "Well, we'll go to where the RICH people shop!" And they didn't even know what it was.
Let's just say, abalone is not something you will find in the middle of the United States, without knowing someone who knows Donald Trump.
But, somewhere in China, Big Splash, the most famous dog in world, is dining on abalone tonight.
I'm going to have to say...I bet it takes just like dog food.
There--- now I feel better. There are some things in life that really don't need to be experienced, like taking heroin, climbing Mt. Everest, or getting arrested in China for stealing the most expensive dog in the world...even if it is for your best friend.
As all mothers who are REAL mothers, always say: "It the thought that counts."
I'm thinking about cha Pattie. How about a Big Splash calendar?