E-bay, O.J. and Cyber Parents

Nobody’s Opinion: Being the nobody that I am, I sometimes take the pleasure of buying those really trashy tabloids papers while standing in the grocery lines. It’s really not my fault. I don’t want to buy them, it’s just that until I can afford a speed reading class, I know I’m had. I get halfway through the “O.J. Cocaine Overdose” and I have to put my sixteen cans of dog food up…or be guilty of the “you’re holding up the line” crime. Which is a very serious offense…in fact, if you don’t put your wallet away and pick up your change fast enough and get out of the way for the next person, you end up feeling humiliated for not moving fast enough.

So there I am…if I want to find out if O.J. is dead yet, I have to buy the paper. I’m sure these tabloids are paying big bucks to get their magazines right up in your face, and they know all the nobody’s like me want to see just what scandal the very famous somebody’s are up to. And it’s especially enticing if it contains some smut on Bill Clinton. Those articles can sometimes make my day.

But, what I’ve noticed lately is that the articles about normal unknown people are much more interesting than the Paris Hilton news. I mean---there is nothing exciting about how many times Paris Hilton likes to poise and expose her various body bruises, except---is this her cry for help? Does she know this will get her picture in all the tabloids? And just who does she hang around with anyway that likes to beat her up? O.J. Simpson?

Enquiring minds do not want to know.

So, here I am reading cover to cover, at home at last while the milk goes sour on the counter, and I come to “Donor Mom Shuns Triplets,” where I found the perfect new liberal couple…Ian Mucklejohn and Melissa Valdovinos.

I really don’t know who was stranger…him or her.

Ian lives in England, has a lot of money… wanted children, but not a wife. He goes on the internet to a place called Fertile Ground and finds triplets eggs being donated for...well she was paid $3,000, who knows how much he paid for her eggs. O.k. more than a little strange. He wanted three boys, with no woman. Who knows…maybe he was married before. Maybe he was gay. The article didn’t say.

But the killer news was the mother who donated the eggs and just how smart and wonderful she thinks she is because she sold her seeds on e-bay…I mean the internet. Which makes you wonder--- why is alright to sell your eggs at a donor organization on the internet, but you can’t sell your eggs on e-bay?

There is a fine line here, and it won’t be long before you will be able to download pictures of mothers selling eggs on e-bay…pictures which you pull up on your I-Pod for a small fee if you happen to be at a bar and want some advice about the mother of your future children from the local drunk.

Melissa says she was struggling to pay her way through college, so why not sell her eggs? She pumped herself with hormones. She considers herself just an incubator, but she is also an environmental engineer with the San Diego Water Board.

Somehow I don’t think $6,000 was enough to pay for that degree.

Anyway, it was obvious how proud she was to be recognized. She had made it. She is the career feminist with only her own needs to worry about…why mess up your life with having to watch three little brats? Coming from her point of view, why mess up the environment with triple loads of diapers?

She and her husband do not want children, she said. Frankly, I think we should be glad the feminists do not care to reproduce---just imagine millions of Madeline Albrights being born? Scary. One is enough.

So, what does Ian do? This caring guy brings them to see their biological mother. She says upon meeting them, “I feel no maternal urge toward them. I may be their mother, but I did nothing except… sell them to give myself a little extra cash because I really wanted to go on a vacation in Cancun, but I just told you that I needed it for school because it sounded better.

No, what she really said was “I did nothing except incubate the eggs which gave them life. “ Spoken like a true feminist.

Yes, Ian brings three little boys all the way from England to San Diego to meet their real mum who could care less about them. The psychological damage done to these three little boys is not for me to discuss, but they did not look like happy campers in their picture.

This brings me to the point of just how far the left has screwed up our thinking about the “family.”

To a true liberal the human being is nothing more than a product, to be aborted or traded, or sold to the highest bidder. For all their rantings about how much they care about kids all over the world, when it comes to their own lives, they are the most important people in the universe and will only have a life which caters to their needs. Why share money or love with another human being when they might have to do with less? Kids get sick, and cost a lot of money and time, god forbid they should have to give up freedom. Yes, they are selfish, if you corner them about it, they usually admit it.

The universities are filled with childless couples.

They rationalize that they are leaving one less person on this earth to spoil the environment. The brainwashing of whole generations has succeeded in convincing too many women that anyone can be a “mother.” Or mothers can just give their kids away. Or mothers can be men. Or a single father or mother is good enough.

We’ve seen the results of the sixties attitude all around us in children whose sole purpose in life is to become a rich rapper. When they finally get a job, they go into shock.

Melissa is presented in as an angel of wonderful mercy, instead of what she really is…a very narcissistic feminist.

You see, we find out that her own mother left her when she was two, and she was raised by her dad. So hey, what does she care if she just bought three little boys in the world who will always wonder how their own real mother could be so uncaring and cruel to not even want to see them?They were only worth $6,000 to her?

Maybe the nannies will rescue them…maybe they will grow up to be in Parliament. I bet then, Melissa would come out of nowhere and claim her rightful place along their side as their true and loving mom. She was a cyber parent who loved from afar and did what was best for them.

The National Enquirer will surely report the update. And I will probably miss it.

Life can be cruel.

So, what happened to O.J.? Oh, he got high on coke, pot, and Ecstasy, and admitted to killing Nicole. Too bad he didn’t meet up with Melissa, she was just his type. She could have had his cyber babies and probably assured the world of another scandalous trail. We still have time.


Nobody’s Perfect; Our admirals are being sent to business school to learn how to run the Navy as entrepreneurs. These guys are either spending too much money on “hardware” or the new treasury secretary has plans to start another global international company, in which the admirals can sell nuclear submarines. After all, it’s about time we stop giving away all our technology and top secrets…instead of politicians getting all the cash, this will help some top admirals get some money….or maybe they will just be the front man. Who knows? This nobody hasn’t any idea why we should send them all to business school, but you can bet it’s not to make money for the American people.

Nobody Knows: Just how many times can they show the Katrina debacle on TV? A whole town was relocated to make way for the Mexicans it seems…they have got to put them somewhere. So far, 100,000 immigrants have already moved there. What I haven’t heard reported is, where did all the New Orleans' gays go…Massachusetts?

Nobody Cares; We were talking about this today--- nobody here in St. Louis seems to care about the Stanley Cup. Nobody is talking about it. I think the player’s strike really hurt hockey. Just like it hurt baseball back in 1994…it took a Mark McGuire home run streak and moving the outfields in to get people to come back to the game. Guess they are going to have to hire some feminists that can beat up men to get people excited about hockey again, I wonder if Madeline Albright can skate?