The Gap Between The Rich and the Poor

Nobody’s Opinion; Yesterday, after watching the very upsetting news about the middle East, in my daily blog I plopped out this very poor attempt at humor. (See Savage Sultans of Sacrilege) Since the piece was rather serious, a reader e-mailed me and asked if the comment about Condoleezza Rice was necessary.

The Polish Knight had a good point.

I was trying to say having Condoleezza go over to the Middle East to try and stop Hezbollah from attacking Israel seemed like such an impossible trip, that she might as well stay home and do something more productive. I could have said she should play a few concerts, go whitewater rafting or lay around Camp David…but I didn’t. I said she could come home and get her teeth fixed…ouch. It came out very mean-spirited.

So, in order to psychoanalyze my nobody self, I decided to go through in my head what may have been the reasons that I lashed out at poor Condoleezza’s Rice’s gap between her teeth, because frankly, every time she comes on TV, which is every single day, while she is talking, I am not looking at her eyes, I sometimes am not hearing what she says, I am looking at her teeth and wondering…why, with all her money, doesn’t she get the gap fixed?

There are so many things in life that money can’t fix, and teeth repair is not one of them.

She is not the only one I wonder this about. Multi-millionaire Madonna has this same gap. Remember that CEO of Exxon recently who was on TV last month saying that he felt no guilt about the fabulous wealth he was taking home due to the “market driven” gas prices? His teeth drove me NUTS! This guy was making more money per minute than most nobodies will in their lifetime and he had teeth of a homeless man. He had teeth right out of Deliverance. Come on.

I was having a Martha Stewart moment…I wanted to grab that guy in a headlock, get an electric tooth brush with baking soda in his mouth and scrub. It would have been a good thing.

And in case you don’t have teenagers, or haven’t been paying attention lately, having perfect teeth seems to be the newest fad in “pretending you’re a somebody, because you actually can afford to get your teeth whitened.” It’s the newest thing since $150.00 Nike’s, and every reporter, movie star, and even some politicians are getting their teeth fixed and whitened, much to delight of dentists all over the nation.

And the not so rich who can’t afford $150 every other month, are spending forty dollars at Walgreens to try to whitened their teeth at home.

Now, Condi is a beautiful woman, and this is no accident. She takes her hour workouts at 4.30 in the morning very serious. She says she does it for her health, but on TV video clips where she is walking into some state room, or getting off a plane, Condi is very aware of her body, and her image. She stands tall and proud. She wears outfits from the most expensive designers in Paris. I remember her walking once in some brand new leather boots that must have cost her at least as much as a weeks pay of anyone in the “middle” class.

Her hair is always perfectly coiffured, every strand in perfect place. As busy as she is, she probably has her own hairdresser. And recently, she did have her teeth whitened, as is all the rage right now.

It’s obvious that Ms Rice is a perfectionist with all that she has accomplished in life and she is smart enough to know first impressions count. Like the President, and the first Lady, she is representing our country when she is meeting with the heads of nations.

And her smile is the first thing they all see.

And let’s face it, as much as we all lament the fact that men look at a woman’s appearance first before listening to what they have to say, it’s a fact. You point out to me one man who doesn’t look at a woman’s appearance and instantly make an opinion…and I’ll drop down and do fifty. I don’t care if that man is from Lebanon or Idaho.

But, still--- why was I so upset about Condi’s teeth? I mean, why should it matter?

The answer is; the gap, between the rich and the not so rich when it comes to teeth, makes this nobody gnash her own.

All my life I’ve had teeth problems, and finding the money to get my teeth fixed was a real struggle.

You see the rich have money to get their teeth fixed, and an awful lot of people don’t. Okay. Okay…it’s really not class envy; it’s just…well…what seems to me a simple common sense thing.

And like a lot of funny quirks, certain emotions come out of your childhood.

When I was young, I had buck teeth. The dentist nicely called it an “overbite.” Not my mother. She hated it. She would tell me to close my mouth when I laughed, and keep it closed in public. I had an overbite that was so big that when I closed my mouth I had to move my big toe.

Now to keep your mouth closed in public can be done…but try to tell a kid not to laugh on an everyday basis. My mom was going through a---“My daughter has to grow up and marry some one rich so that she doesn’t have to work hard like me” time.

And here comes the money part. My parents did not have the money for braces. So, the dentist pulled four molars and I pushed on my front teeth with my hand. I would sit in my classes at school, with my left hand on my teeth, and after two years of “hand” pressure, my teeth got to the place where at least I could laugh. It worked. Now, I look pretty normal. (See picture of nobody in my first blog in archives.)

But, still, my teeth were rotten. In my life I have been through more root canals, bridges, cavities, and holes than the New Jersey turnpike.

Ask anyone who has had an infected tooth if they want to go dancing.

And sometime I would put off getting that root canal for a year, because even with insurance there were other more important things to be bought. I was a single parent and my family came first. If my son just had to play hockey (hockey equipment is not cheap) I would buy hockey equipment and suck on ice. I had to pay for health insurance for myself and my child, and since I was self-employed, I paid double taxes. Most of my money went for bills. Trust me; I wasn’t taking trips to Las Vegas.

So, what I really want to say is that I think that Condoleezza is just about perfect in every way…with just a small trip to the dentist; she could be dazzling like a diamond in her perfection.

Last week I was told that I needed surgery on a back molar. Once again, I will put it off, hoping that with a bucket of fluoride I can buy six months…there are other things that seem more important our family needs money for.

But, with the importance of a nation’s future at stack at this volatile time in our country’s history, I guess, figuring that even though Condi’s brains are good enough to go into battle, a beautiful dazzling smile might just confused the enemy enough to make them sign on the dotted line, and then wonder….hey, what just happened?

Peace? Now that would be a nice gap to close.

Nobody’s Perfect; Thanks to Polish Knight I have learned to think about how other people might take something differently, since we all bring every moment and memory of our lives to every moment in real time. Next time, I well clarify, or not say it at all.

Nobody Knows; Not many people know that Condexllia Rice learned international studies as a student of the same professor that taught Madeline Albright, who was actually Madeline’s Albright’s dad.

Nobody Cares; And on that previous point, it’s not her teeth that should concern me, but once again… the gap between the rich and the poor.