Where's The Beef?

Nobody's Opinion; UPDATE: I first wrote this after watching President George Bush during the G-8 meeting in 2004, right after the takeover of Bagdad. I thought I’d throw this up to show, for one thing, how President Bush, once again, looked totally disgusted at the 2006 G-8 meetings, and how little has changed in the world, since that time. This was written before Saddam was captured. So, let’s go back two years and consider how really crazy it is for the G-8 to suggest that the United Nations go in and solve the war in the Middle East, once again.

It’s June, (2004) the War in Iraq is over, and everyone is crying, “Where’s the beef?” Or, “Where are the weapons of mass destruction?” The Democrats all along have been telling us, as if they had first hand knowledge that the weapons were not in Iraq. Clinton almost bragged about it. It’s as if the plan was to get the UN to stall… and stall, so they could get the weapons out and hide them along with Saddam, where he is at this very minute eating pheasant-under-glass and shouting “Let them eat cake!”

At the parties after the G-8 summit, where the elite of the world met, they were laughing between sips of champagne that Bush couldn’t even find the art, let alone the vials of anthrax. No wonder Bush left early. He must have felt like he was drowning in Jell-O. I can’t think of a better place for all the vegetable brains to meet. Somehow they missed the hundreds of Iraqis tearing down the statues of Saddam and praising George Bush. While the American tanks pulled into downtown Baghdad from the Texas barbeque, the brothels in France had discounts and happy hour specials going on that day with puffy cheese balls.

Clinton was probably sporting one of those UN-French Berets that he ordered on our military before leaving office. (Right, now there’s a hat that’ll keep the sun out of your eyes.) And Baghdad Bob, and Hans Blitz, were probably there too, begging for Monica’s phone number.

The main course at the G-8 meeting was the same old thing. After all these years, the leaders of the world were still trying to figure out how to disarm those damn American cowboys. (Now it’s those damn Israeli Cowboys)

Of course get any well-fed government leader together with any other well-fed government leader and they will always come up with the same conversation. How do we control the masses? How to get the fat ones to fed the skinny ones, without touching our own vast fortunes? How to improve our own vast fortunes?

So, what do the Democrats do when they finally get the beef?

They change the subject! When they see you are having a good meal, they say they really wanted the mixed garden salad. Then they continue to beef about something else. Like the FCC.

The FCC is going to cause a monopoly in ownership of all media!! There will be no independent voices!! OH NO! It’s 1999 again!

I don’t know if you noticed, but most cities went from two opposing newspapers to one socialist voice for all comrades years ago. The only independent news was on the internet. What’s really bugging them is they are now losing money, because people got tired of opening up their morning paper only to see pictures of the starving in Africa, to make us feel guilty about feeding ourselves, instead of them. Feel guilty because maybe we’d like to go out to dinner and have a nice T-bone after eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches all week. How can we? When we keep seeing the starving and dying faces of babies in Africa or India. {Notice how the mothers always manage to look well fed?} So we did what any sensible American Capitalistic Pig would do; we cancelled our subscriptions.

It was good news for the trees. They should have been happy! But instead, they are worried that Mr. Murdoch might buy up papers. Oh god. Will greed go before the NEW WORLD ORDER? Will they really sell to the conservatives, because deep down inside its really greed and money that gives them power…...not Bill Clinton?

Go to any local magazine rack and yell, “Where’s the beef?” (I do this all the time) All you will see is tofu, nuts, and socialistic sexual fruitcake.

CNN specialty is Spam. Ted Turner is using beef to protect him from those nasty humans. Do you actually think those Buffalo are there to save the species or to give him extra income after CNN? No, he has them trained to ATTACK!! Any human who dares come on to his property, which about the size of Iran, which is one place I suggest we start looking. (What? Iran or Ted’s Place?)

Now… I want to tell you about a personal experience that actually happened, in order to make my case of what can happen on a protein deficient diet.

Years ago, when vegetarianism was all the rage in LA, I was sitting in a bathhouse with five very posh LA women, and being the uncool girl from Missouri I had to ask one girl why her toenails were all black and falling off? She reluctantly confessed she did not eat meat. Then the craving started. Salvia started dripping from their very well pumped up lips. Visions of steak, juicy hamburgers, and plates of hot fudge sundaes were dancing in their heads, in the middle of summer even. All five of those girls worked themselves up into a frenzy of culinary revolution. They hopped out of their bathrobes, into their boyfriends expensive sports cars, and rushed to the nearest steak house. So you see, Democrats deep inside crave protein, they’re just so stupid they think they are getting it in their sex lives.

And that guy who was Saddam’s double. Remember him? He was just so happy all the time. So happy to be working. Just so happy. His palaces were being gutted all around him, and he was just so, so happy. Shaking hands in the crowds. Michael Moore has offered him a part in his next film called “Saddam goes bowling for Dollars in Baghdad” also starring Susan Saranwrap, who even though will show as much cleavage as she can beneath her burka, she refuses to show her toenails. Remember the toenails you saw that Kevin Costner painted in Bull Durham? They were not hers. They used a stunt double.

But, let’s go on to the Biggest beef, the Hot tamale, the Big cheese…. (I know stop it)

The Democrats swear that Bush just went in to get Saddam in revenge for the attempted assassination of his father. Well, even if that was true…..Revenge is as old as the Bible. In fact you could even argue it’s a genetic proclivity. It’s a very authentic human emotion, and it’s not just limited to meat eaters. The Democrats do it with every breathe. Why do you think Clinton was not skewered and barbequed as he should have been? Because all of Congress knew his revenge genes were well documented. Nothing like a good plane crash, or suicide, or audit, or mistress scandal to get you eating crow.

The Democrats say Bush just went in for the oil. Well…since the Democrats won’t let us drill in Alaska, why not kill two birds with one very large stone. Get rid of a dictator and get oil for our country. (Update; it was and is the Democrats that kept us dependent on Iraq and middle eastern oil, and yes, where IS the oil from Iraq?... in Syria with the WMD’s?)

They say Bush and Cheney are oil men. Well…if Clinton had gone in to get the wells, we would have ended up with a lot of Cuban cigars stuck in pipe holes. Cars don’t run on smoke.

Poor Bill just couldn’t bring himself to hurt poor bin Laden, because, at the time, he was looking to rent some very fine mansion for himself and Chelsea not far from Oxford, from the Saudi Arabian Ambassador, who just happened to have around 13 mansions in the area himself. And being as all those Saudi’ are cousins, it wouldn’t have done any good to piss off old Bin’s relatives. Also…getting close to Tony Blair was a must for Clinton after office, being as Tony really is brighter and smarter, and his only near rival for possible World Leader.

Bush is trying to protect us, unlike Clinton who did just about everything he could possibly think of to have some country somewhere to attack us….. “Please just one missile, please, attack before I leave office. Hillary might not let me in the White House again! Why, I’m all ready for another term and Marshall law. Why do you think we spend all those billions on that monument to FDR? He served four terms. Can’t you people take a hint? What does it take?! “

And now the beef (or what comes out the other end) in Hillary’s new book has been gracefully endowed on the world as if we should all come to her fabulous Martha Stewart inspired Thanksgiving dinner. The ultimate turkey propaganda, filled with all the dressings, about her world view, and her compassion for woman and children. Oh yes, Hillary has certainly studied the latest in mind control. She knows that the state has to get hold of those little burgers as young as possible to brain wash their little synapse’ into state pudding. Hillary worldview: Let them eat pudding!! {Preferably chocolate.)

Yes and how she didn’t know Bill sleep around. I mean he was on a constant diet of pure American ground beef, how could he? The only reason you heard about this and I bet it takes up very little space in her book, is she had to have some kind of smutty stuff about Bill because no one, except maybe the leaders at the G8, would actually want to read anything this power hungry, manipulative, very sick cookie psycho (gee can I say this, is there still free speech?} has to say unless there was some “I am a victim and you should love me even more because I stayed with him for the good of the county because if I had been any kind of a human being I would have left him (and all that power and money and free trips on Air Force One, not to mention that wonderful camel ride) and made my own life with integrity. But I wanted to be President and I needed him and since I was President anyway, and you will need me because I am the most underrated woman megalomaniac that ever walked the earth, and the only human that can save the earth and someday you will thank me, and just to show you how I love you all, I will come down off my elite Golden Senate Throne and sign my book at Wal-Mart! And tell you I was born a Republican, but I was saved, and my father will actually perhaps finally love me and notice me.” (Update; she now is a hawk)

So again, a nation asks…“Where’s the BEEF?” This will be the next question on everyone’s lips as they vote in the next Presidential election.

Just remember, they fatten the cows before the slaughter. So choose wisely.

After all, McDonalds stopped serving it eons ago. Talk about weapons of mass destruction

Nobody’s Perfect; Three years later President Bush still acted like a cowboy at the G-8 meeting, but he failed to chew with his mouth closed.

Nobody Knows; Where the vast WMD’s went, but most experts agree they went to Syria, and then perhaps across the Mexican border Why else are we going to have doctors giving shots in our grocery stores? mmmm?.

Nobody Cares; Today, Hillary Clinton made a big FDR statement, with all her puppies standing behind her about how she would stand behind Israel, and she sounded very tough. Bill Clinton said he would get on the front lines and die for Israel, basically. In a perfect world….Both Hillary and Bill Clinton would do just that….but I guess I’ll have to go to Walgreens.