When In Doubt, Have a Shirley Temple

Nobody’s Opinion; “Oh, My… Goodness!”

No, it wasn’t Shirley Temple but Donald Rumsfield’s answer to Hillary Clinton’s staged attempt today to convince us all…that she is going to be a bulldog when she takes the reigns of Presidential power. The Pentagon grilling today was quite the rehearsal.

For one thing, Hillary has been practicing lowering her voice. The camera angle was perfect. Hillary is hard to take from the front, and finally someone has figured this out. You can even have the sound off and if Hillary is speaking, and she is facing the camera, her whiney voice comes into your head, almost like a silent scream from a Stephen King horror movie.

She is like the typical stupid social studies teacher that we all had in school. Every single social studies teacher acted like social studies was the most important subject in the world, when actually it was the most boring, and all the kids wanted to take it because it was the easiest subject to pass.

Hillary is a reincarnation of some social studies teacher that was shot by some kid who just couldn’t take it anymore.

And the speech she read (recopied into her own handwriting which the camera made sure you witnessed, so YOU would think that Hillary Clinton actually wrote that speech) was quite the convincing Presidential Kodak moment. She has never sounded more convinced of her own superiority.

This whole thing was carefully planned so she could make her mark… poor Mr. Rumsfield. Hillary wants his resignation.

Please…just think about how much more of this is coming our way.

I mean, who else in history already had their profile picture drawn and entered into the Smithsonian to go on a nifty new stamp before she had even served her first term as Senator? After the stamp we will have her image on the new North American CAFTA Dollar. And if that wasn’t enough, we had to have that silly headbutt, I mean head-bust which will probably be the very first thing you will see when you go into the new Capitol museum, being built right now for this very purpose.

Like her husband, she’s becoming more unbearable with every passing moment.

I remember back in the year 2000, I was visiting Washington D.C. for the first time, and having made my living as a musician, I was anxious to see the “American Music” section at the Smithsonian. I approached the entrance with great anticipation.

There I was…being the nobody that I am, shaking my head in disbelief, because the very first thing you saw when entering the exhibit, I’m not making this up…was Bill Clinton’s saxophone. Not Elvis’s shoes, not Chuck Berry’s red guitar, not Louis Armstrong’s trumpet…right there in the center of the entrance…was Bill’s famous saxophone.

I almost didn’t go in.

Yeah, Bill Clinton had a lotta hits in Arkansas, he just didn’t inhale.

Let’s just make them both King and Queen of the world and get it over with. Then let’s put them on the Titanic.

Did you notice how on every cable station they had Hillary, Hillary, and then Hillary? (Wait there’s Mel Gibson! Mel...you should have gotten the Shirley Temple! )

You would have thought that only Hillary and Rumsfield, along with a few generals, were the only ones at this Congressional mandatory briefing of the Pentagon’s major “failings.”

I don’t care, I like Donald Rumsfield. He reminds me of every high school football coach that every lived. And I actually remember when you could go to your high school football game and get in for FREE. Everyone always liked and admired the high school football coach in the old days. He kept the boys in line. He was usually the smartest man on campus. The principals never got near them.

Rumsfield’s answer to Hillary was the typical…”You just don’t get it do you? We have been getting attacked for the last twenty years, and you and your husband just ignored it. Now I have to go and clean up the mess, and by the way, you guys downsized the military so much, that most of the top officers retired just to get out the hopeless mess you guys made, and what we inherited couldn’t have pulled off an invasion of Easter Island…and now because you want to be President, you made me come to this ridiculous public screwing, but everyone knows as soon as you become President you will just send your husband over to the Middle East for photo-ops so that he can finally win his *&$^#* noble prize, which is all he talked about all through his *&##$% book, while the world stays the same, and the fighting will stop for about a week, and then continue, because you people just don’t get it…good God.”

Actually, Donald didn’t say it quite like that…but I bet he was thinking it. At least he didn’t read a well prepared speech written by some democrat whose IQ was obviously a lot higher than Hillary’s.

And speaking of IQ’s: Did you know that Shirley Temple had one of the highest ever recorded? Now that’s one woman who would have made a really great President. All the years of devoted service that she gave to this country will never be known.

Because if Hillary becomes President, any sensible thing that any true patriotic servant of the United States might have done in the past, will be erased from history, and her picture will be on the front of all the college freshmen American Politics books. A class that will be mandatory (along with oral sex 101) to get your degree.

I actually saw my son’s mandatory American Politics college book once and I counted. 32 pictures of Bill Clinton, five of Hillary, and two of Monica Lewinsky.

Obviously, there will be a revised edition.

Gee…I can’t wait. America politics at the Clinton’s best…oh my goodness!

Nobody’s Perfect; Is it just me? Or did those generals remind you of some kind of cartoon characters out of Warner Brothers?

Nobody Knows; Today it was said that the United States will go in and train the Lebanese army, and give them everything they need to fight the Hezbollah. This is how we are actually, according to Ms. Condi, not getting involved. How much this will add on to the billions already being spent nobody even wants to guess, but the word at the Pentagon seems to be, “Money is no object.”

I could have used the Pentagon today when I got the bill on my air conditioning recharge for my car.

Nobody Cares; There was a story on the internet today about quite a few South Korean Christians who are being thrown out the brand new democracy of Afghanistan’s: the democracy that our boys died for.

They are being thrown out for the crime of being Christian.

What’s the matter Hillary… Jesus got your tongue?