Topless in Lebanon

Nobody’s Opinion: Don’t you just love it? Just when you thought that things could not get more absurd…they do. Maybe instead of seriousness, we should be approaching our world problems with equal absurdity? I have a plan…as you can see from the title.

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Thanks to Mike LaSalle, the news that 30 Scandinavian woman went topless in Albania, on a beach, (came to my attention) and the fact that the “police only watched” for about 2 hours, is a good absurd place to start.

Thirty blonds, topless on a beach.

Oh…we can have fun with this one.

This could give the human race hope. We can deduce that these policemen were Muslims because evidently, just bathing on a beach in public is forbidden in Albania, let alone having group topless sessions. Those poor policemen.

Sometimes, it has been noted, some women just love to go topless in public. Here in Missouri, on any given weekend, all you have to do is take a few beads down to the local river, where the girls are bathing, and they will more than likely, flash for beads. It was front page news here on The Post Dispatch. Sales have been really bad.

This means we will have guys hanging around the Mississippi with beads probably until mid-November.

Personally, I’ve never understood it this compulsion. But my uneducated guess is, it’s the one time in their lives some girls actually feel powerful and in total control over men.

I remember once, back when I was a drummer in a band, three young girls, who were dancing in front of our band one hot summer night (There were four guys in the band, and one girl…me) took off their tops and danced for about as long as the guys could possibly play. Actually, I think it was the longest rendition of “Start Me Up” that has ever been performed.

But, here’s the catch. It was against the law. The manager keep going behind the bar and making himself drinks. Within an hour “Start Me Up” had morphed into a free-for-all, everyone in the band took a 30 minute solo…. The bass player didn’t break a sweat. The guitar player just kept smiling. Have you ever noticed that men do not talk during public observations of the female naked form?

This comes from years of practice.

It’s good to hear that even Muslim men will do the same thing as American men when faced with the question; do I stop this? Nah.

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Forget the New York Times--- USA Today has joined the ranks of complete liberal bias. Now you would think that with the USA in the title, the paper would actually represent our country. Oh sure, it’s easy to read. But the pictures say it all.

I’ve been looking at the online photos for a week, and you would think you are actually seeing a paper from Iran. There were about 12 photos of the war, and every single one of them had the poor citizens of the Lebanese dying…babies, women, body bags…and in the one photo of the Israeli’s, those mean Jews are looking at a bomb cloud in the distance…in Lebanon.

Now, since the USA Today is bias and totally against the Jewish state, don’t you think an article would appear applauding Mel Gibson recent drunken comments? After all, his statements seem to be in total agreement with the papers view, which is…Israeli is a war mongrel.

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Speaking of Mel Gibson. The comment about how Jews have started all the wars does complete injustice to Attila the Hun, the Romans Ceasars, Alexandra the Great, and most importantly, Fidel Castro. The other guys, if alive would be TOTALLY insulted…Fidel on the other hand, will probably send Mel some cigars and pictures of Che’.

Actually, I liked it when he called a police officer...”sugar tits” I wouldn’t mind being called “sugar tits.” What’s wrong with that? He could have said…”doggy tits” or “ugly tits” or “disproportionably not in synch tits.”

The officer must have been a feminist.

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The UK is dismantling their Child Support Agency. I guess over in England the state supports the kids, not the parents. This is the first time I even knew about the law, which is probably because if divorced men here in the states would have known about this law, London would have had an invasion of real American men.

The welfare system has cost them so much that they have decided to stop it.

They are discussing putting electronic chips into every parent now, who doesn’t pay the support for their child. Well, somebody has to start this chipping nonsense.

And because that is probably the one really good idea to come of electronic surveillance, you can be sure it will never happen here.

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Now…on this Israeli bombing and killing 56 innocent woman and children that has been on the news all weekend---Here’s the absurdity… evidently, the Muslims care so little about their own woman and children that they will fire rockets right next door to where they are holding them, basically signing their death warrants.

The only possible explanation for this is…polygamy. These guys can have four wives, and so if they lose one or two…they still have more. This nobody bets that their favorites were out of the country.

If they only had one wife, maybe they’d be a little more careful.

Let's hope polygamy doesn't catch on here girls.

So here’s a plan. Instead of shooting rockets, we could get some Scandinavian woman and some patriotic blond strippers, to go over to Lebanon, get them near the Hezbollah, and let them take off their tops. We can skip the bathing. I’m guessing we need around 4,000 girls. That should do it.

That would give at least two hours for the Israelis’ to go in and clean the rest of the Hezbollah out, without killing anymore woman and children.

I suggest we get Bill Clinton working on this right away. Hey…what? Won’t work? How do you know?


Nobody’s Perfect; That picture of Madonna singing on her huge cross, with all her clothes on, shows she is really losing it. I don't get it. She puts out a book of nudity, and then, this. If she is going to imitate Jesus, she should have just a loin cloth on and nothing else, which would double her sales.

What’s the matter Madonna…getting old? I thought you were an “artist?”

Nobody Knows; This is Doug Powers’s birthday! He is still a young pup! And just about the best and funniest writer in all America! And if that isn’t enough, he is a brilliant observer of the truth! Not only is he an original voice, he is just about right on every subject. He never fails to come up with some line that makes you laugh so hard, you forgot that you were suppose to be upset about the world. Doug is a rare talent, and it’s only a matter of time before he becomes a household name.

In fact, if you are upset about anything in the news, go to Doug…he will not let you down.

Actually, I would like to send Doug 40 Scandinavian topless girls for his birthday, but I’m sure he is perfectly happy with his wife and kids, who are lucky to have him. Besides, I don’t have the money right now.

So--- everyone reading this, hurry over to Doug’s site or one of his posts and send him a Happy Birthday, along with a check…made out to me. (Just kidding)

Have a great Birthday Doug…This nobody thinks you are a True American Hero.

Nobody Cares; With all the anger lately that has been going around about the feminists, remember--- it was the feminists who started the women going braless.

Be sure and thank the next one you meet guys.

Hey, I like bras. But, it seems they are rare in Albania.