The Crash of GOP Flight-2006

Nobody’s Opinion; It doesn’t matter what channel you turned on today, it was a magnificent crash and burn job of the Republican Party. All the reporters were overdosing on the sight of mangled careers---the damage, the flames; the burnt corpses of the great crash of the GOP and the transition of power to the “other side” have gorganized the nation into complete voter apathy.

Somewhere in the world, Bill Clinton is having way too much fun.

The GOP Flight-2006, was hit by a huge Dem missile, designed and perfected with the help of Boeing.

So what else is new? How was your day?

Body parts are lying all over the front lawn of the Capitol. The only thing left of Representative Foley was his lawyer, who now is lying in intensive care and not expected to survive.

The pilot of GOP Flight-2006, Dennis Hastert, was reportedly asleep at the helm. By the time they get finished with him, he will have to be identified with dental floss.

His loyal chief of staff, Kirk Ford, was not about to take the fall for him, and dived out at 30,000 feet saying that he told Hastert that the plane was going to crash during mid-flight, but Dennis was busy eating a PC burger and ignored him.

Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity, the two brave tower controllers, were trying desperately to stop the crash. Both were shouting at the top of their lungs, “Attack! Attack! Pull up! You must Pull Up!”

“You’ve been hit by a dirty bomb and you must attack immediately to save the party!”

10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2…

Let’s all bow our heads in a moment of silence…GOP Flight-2006 has gone down.

Videos of the crash were abundant. Foley crying at the sight of all the pages he didn’t get to kiss, repeated over and over, was played so many times it was burned into the brains of all the voters who even had any thought of voting Republican--- that to do so would mean more horrific plane crashes and doom their very lives and the lives of their children to daily gun shootings in their schools, (especially the religious ones) high gas prices, inflation, and the rich getting so much richer than the poor, that commercials of starving Americans will soon be played daily in Venezuela.

And if that isn’t enough, the very evil Harry Potter, the book that got millions of children all over the earth to actually start reading again, after all the hard work of the NEA has been going through to get the little goobers to stop, if not banned, will take over the minds of future generations and ruin all the politically correct lessons of liberalism that has been meticulously nurtured for decades.

As Katie Co uric would say---“How repugnant!”

From the control tower we heard the man who predicts all political accidents---Dick Morris. He says he saw this coming. The plane came down hard and Hillary will be the next President.

Pointing to the Zogby stone, Dick says---“So Let It Be Written…So Let It Be Done.”

I don’t know about you, but around 10 a.m. I was already tired of listening to the Chicken Little stories of what sordid and sickening thing Foley did and said. I turned it off.

Surely by 11.p.m, there would be some other news.

But nooooo…tonight PBS did an already made special on the real corruption of the GOP, in which they made Tom Delay look like the anti-Christ on Halloween.

It’s the worst corruption ever seen in our government. it is so bad, according to Bill Moyer and his experts; it will take years to correct such corruption. Years.

Wisely giving the Democrats an excuse to keep it up.

Tom Delay was using Abernoff the lobbyist, to set up ways to extort vast amounts of money from rich Indian casino owners in order to take Tom Delay and his family and friends to play golf in Scotland. They dined at the finest restaurants.

Somehow they forgot to be “fair and balanced.” They forgot to mention all those plane trips full of hundreds of politicians, escorted all over the world with Ron Brown during the Clinton administration---the host with the most that was never meant to be known.

In Ron Brown’s bullet ridden head were all the places and restaurants of hundreds of elected leaders, wives, prostitutes, mistresses, and foreign persons with various off-shore bank accounts just waiting to be picked.

His plane made a real crash before the hole was made to extract that information

At least Tom Delay is being allowed to live and give lectures.

Now, just where did I leave that bottle of Raspberry wine?

That lovable Marxist Bill Moyer did such a compelling job explaining all the corruption of Tom Delay and the Abernoff scandals, that it almost made me forget that during the Clinton years, the Lincoln bedroom was filled with grunts from the Chinese military who were being handed Presidential nuclear suitcases for their bedtime cookie snack.

But according to Bill Moyer, the democrats were never, ever as corrupt as the GOP. As if to tell us…”Foley is only the tip of the ice-burg, let us explain to you rednecks the real bad guys and why you need to elect the Democrats.”

I say we forget the elections, let’s have a bull-riding contest.

I’d love to see all the corrupt politician of each party, get on the bulls, and let em’ ride it out. Put cowboy hats on all of them.

We could have a citizen lottery, and the winners would get to “sap” the bulls of the most corrupt from each party…

And the biggest winner would get to pick the bulls.

I’m ready.


Nobody’s Perfect; Is a bull-riding contest too sadistic, do you think? Nah.

Nobody Knows; Why the news that Madonna visited Malawi and may adopt a child from there, was so important it was on the front page of USA today.

Do you think we’ll ever see a movie star adopt a child from America?

Nobody Cares; Paris Hilton got punched by some other bimbo named Shannia Moaker. You gotta love this one. Now, the quickest way to further your career is to punch someone else famous.

So all the losers from all the American Idol and Survivor shows will be working out at the gym, and practicing their jabs, getting ready to get back into the limelight.

If I were Paris, I’d go hide out in one of daddy’s hotels; Dubai would be a good place. She could marry a Saudi. Hey, don’t laugh. It might happen.