Nobody's Absurdities, No.17...Where's My Bunker?

Nobody’s Opinion; Here we are at number “seventeen” to the Nobody’s Absurdities. I’m reminded of that great day in American History, Bunker Hill day, June 17, 1775.

Also, it was on this day Sept 27, 1779, that John Adams was appointed to negotiate the peace treaty with England to end the Revolutionary War.

I gotta put a plug in for John, who, despite David McCullough’s gallant efforts, has yet to get his own memorial on the National Mall.

But then, he was short.

And since life is never short of absurdities, let’s add some more.

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Bill Clinton somehow ended up in London after his big tirade with Chris Wallace, speaking at London’s Royal Albert Hall.

That guy really gets around, doesn’t he? If he is going to Australia, I’m stocking up on green beans. That’s where he was during the 9/11 attacks…I like to keep an eye on him.

He was saying that Afghanistan needs more troops, and that Iran is no threat, but that he thinks small nukes and dirty bombs are more of a danger.

I guess this means that Israel is going to be allowed to continue to exist, because after all, one must have an enemy to raise millions of Muslims to Jihad.

Here in the Midwest though, my Muslims neighbor’s house is completely dark---they even came and got their truck, and turned off ALL of their lights.

Great, just my luck---the one time Bill Clinton is not lying about something will be now.

Missouri will get hit with a dirty bomb. That would certainly take care of the
Democrat’s problem. Missouri has been a thorn in their side since Clinton’s first term.

If it is wiped out, they can just not include it in the election, which would help put a democrat in the White House.

Even bin Laden said he would hit those who voted for George Bush.

Sorry guys, I make no apologies when my amygdala emotional female brain goes into overload. I am entitled because my female brain is telling me to worry.

Mix an overabundance of hypothalamus' excitement with imagination and your sailing.
I don’t need drugs.

I can see the Midwest being cleared for the traffic soon to come on the NAFTA highway. (This is going to be built, look it up.)

New Orleans was cleared with a hurricane, and if all the tornado’s that have been coming at us can’t make some room, a nice dirty bomb will help.

Mexicans won’t care about the contamination; there will be plenty of jobs re-building the Midwest. After the work, they can move right in.

What a better place to conduct what the social entrepreneurs call the “third wave experiment,” where Mexicans, Chinese, Americans, Canadian, Africans, and Bosnians will all live in harmony together around the Kansas City Mexico Port.

That’s what the plan is…to harmonize us, feed us genetically modified bananas with vaccines, and let us finally live in Wal-Mart. Which will eventually, build neighborhoods connected to its front doors. You won’t even need a car.

Hopefully they have free movies on Wednesdays at the Wal-Mart super-theaters.

If this happens, I hope Martha’s Vineyard goes underwater.

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Mel Gibson has lost it.

It seems I remember reading that his father left the United States for Australia so that his sons would not have to serve in the Vietnam War, and probably Mel is a chip off the old block. He has sons he doesn’t want to see die in a war, just like his dad didn’t.

Funny, it’s ok to make movies about how noble it is to fight for freedom, UNLESS, it’s your own kids that might have to go. Well---that’s a different matter.

I suggest Mel get in touch with the great draft dodger himself, Bill Clinton, and pull some strings. All the rich and powerful do it.

It’s just that Mel is going to have a hard time not looking like a hypocrite.

Or is this just a ploy to get all the Liberals out to see his new movie? You never know, we’re the rats.

I suggest Mel go and have a few more drinks…in Iraq.


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PETA is protesting Six Flag’s cockroach eating contest. I love this. Anyone that can eat a huge cockroach is out of their minds. I don’t care if their nutritious, full of protein and fate free, and make you live fifty more years with free cable…Six Flags is really getting hard up.

Has eating cockroaches for entertainment replaced going to see a rock concert? Why not just get Willie Nelson to eat a scorpion?

I’ll join Peta on this one---how cruel to the thousands of animals that will get sick watching it. Why should the other insects have to witness such a horrible act?

Any person that is crazy enough to eat a cockroach should come over to my house, and enjoy. I’ll buy them a season’s pass to Six Flags.

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Two drug lords were captured today, the Cali brothers from Columbia. Some sort of deal was worked out where all the family’s money would be unfrozen if they apologized to the American people, and to probably quite a few families who are now missing drug enforcement fathers.

Both men were clever at smuggling; evidently they could hide cocaine in broccoli. They could hide cocaine in Roger Clinton’s guitar. They could hide cocaine in bags of grass. Pretty soon with the new NAFTA highway, they will be able to hide cocaine in Martha Stewart’s green egg matching rugs and curtains made in China, and ship tons of cocaine up in Mexican trucks and trains, right into the middle of America---no problem.

Keep the natives drugged and shopping seems to be the plan. And look for soccer to take on a whole new meaning here.

The NAFTA Highway, which is going to be four football fields wide will have a “69” corridor.

You know what that means? I know you do, keep it to yourself!

OK…who named the highway?

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Powell, the new globalist, was giving a spiffy talk today on the wonders of India, and also how cleverly China has conquered us, with the NAFTA highway and all their products coming in and overtaking all our jobs. China pretty much will own us.

He thinks that’s very clever. He admires the Chinese. He admires affirmative action.

He wants us to admire him for saying how much he admires these things.

Lots of people want Powell to be President of the United States. I say he’s nobody’s fool; he’s waiting to be appointed the head of the New North American Union.

But then, there are others that want the United States to merge with Japan and call it Jamerica.

We are going to have a big problem here. All these countries to merge, coming up with a new name is not going to be easy.

Jamexicana…will be the 21st century country. America will be slowly forgotten.

Where you can hook up to a Toyota, and eat taco’s at Wal-mart, while you watch the Muslims pray in aisle one. The French will once again invade New York.

I’m sure the t-shirts are being made up as we speak.

I wonder when they plan to tell us?

Nobody’s Perfect; Oprah was bragging on some radio station how she had only one black working underneath her. The rest were white people.

Talk about raciest, talk about prejudice. I’m sure Oprah for all her talent, was helped into her position by plenty of white people on her climb to the top. And now, she brags about being their Master.

Oprah the white slave driver.

She also said she didn’t want to have kids because she didn’t want to clean poo. And since she American royalty, someone will have to take care of her poo when she gets old.

And I’ll bet you twenty (that’s my limit) it’s a white person…who wants to bet?

Nobody Knows; The Daili Lama has come out and said that violence in Iraq is costing too many lives. This is absurd and funny, because, I guess up to this point the ones that have died were okay…but now, we have a “limit.”

This, coming from a man who left his own country while most of the people in it were being slaughtered unmercifully by the Chinese.

Yet, he is worshipped around the world, because he is a God, or one is living in him.

This God now lives among the elites of New York and travels the world promoting peace.

He says the use of religion to format social division is not right, after all---he can’t let the Pope upstage him.

He also said Muslims and Christians should get to know each other.

I suggest the Dali Lama go with Mel Gibson to Iraq and settle this matter once and for all. Richard Gere can go along and help out. I would let the Cali brother tag along and serve out their prison sentences there. Maybe they can talk Saddam into apologizing to the world.

It’s the least they can do.

Nobody Cares; I was actually born on Bunker Hill Day. I consider that a sign…and not necessarily a good one.