Nobody's Absurdities, No. 16...Countdown

Nobody’s Opinion; Boy, today there was just too much information overload.

As they declared once in the Bible (They did a lot of “declaring” between sacking towns.) black was white and right was wrong, down was up--- and if you can figure out what’s really happening in the world, then I’d advise you to dig a bunker, a DEEEEEP bunker.

And if you can’t afford that, then go to China where they already have bunkers for their people.

Otherwise, in the same confusing order that I thought of them, here are the “more than what we asked for” absurdities. It’s the twenty-second; I have no other explanation for it.

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The highest absurdity that had all the talk show hosts, blog writers, hairdressers, and a lot of truck drivers in great puzzlement today, was that Nancy Polsei and Charles Randall, defended President Bush against Hugo Chavez. Nancy even called him a “thug.”

Why this is so absurd is that both these people have called President Bush much worse things than a “devil.”

Was this an “I can call my spouse any bleeping name I want, I can even punch them silly, but if you say one word against “him or her” I will take you down!” moment?

No, more than likely they got their talking points in the morning, in their e-mails from their Grand Puta. Some of the Democrats were told to distance the party from “communists” because, well, the Democrats mostly believe in communist/socialists system of ruling, and they don’t want you to know it.

Pelosi was picked because she’s going to be the big cheese in Congress…they think.

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While this was going on, Chavez was in Harlem, right down the street from Bill’s office, giving away heating oil to the poor, and calling President Bush an “alcoholic” and saying “He walks like John Wayne.”

A lot of people would have taken that as a compliment.

Danny Glover, whose claim to fame is being in Lethal Weapons movies so many times, he decided he wanted to be one---was right by his side, giving him a hug, calling him his brother.

Yesterday, I was standing in at a pet store, behind a Spanish woman with two of her babies. She couldn’t speak English.

She had a tee-shirt on that had a picture of a black arm and a white arm holding hands, with the words “unico” or, something like that on…I don’t know, I’ve no intention to learn Spanish anytime soon.

But the meaning was clear. Blacks and illegal’s should unit against the white Republican conservatives and take over. She wouldn’t even look at me, neither would her children.

So, where’s the sitcom with the black family living next to an illegal immigrant family? Where’s our “All in the CASA?” Where’s the illegal immigrant survivor sitcom?

And why do all these movie stars, who would have never in a million years be where they are without having to have been fortunate enough to have been born in America, get off on siding with the communists who want to destroy it.

I say...HeyDanny, divide up all your money, give it the MIDDLE classes who went to see your movies, and move to Cuba.

After all, we are the reason you are even being noticed.

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Here’s one that deserves its own conspiracy theory website; The Commerce Department has lost 1,137 computer laptops. Most of these were assigned to the Census Bureau. The Census Bureau lost 672 laptops.

Obviously, someone wants to change a few things, or the jihads need more than cell phones.

Okay, call me stupid, but why is the government issuing laptops to “employees?” Laptops that can be carried easily home in a big purse or coat, and conveniently lost? What idiot ordered laptops for federal workers?

Here we are, all us nobodies, working hard to pay for our own laptops, and then we have to pay for everyone in the entire government to have one, only to have to replace them every time they are stolen?

So, how many “laptops” have been stolen from teachers and admsintrators in the public school systems?

In May, we had the Veterans Affairs Department laptops stolen, which had information of 26.5 million veterans and active duty troops. Also, personal information has been stolen from the departments of Agriculture, Defense, Education, Energy, Health and Human Service, Transportation and the Federal Trade Commission.

And, not to be left out, the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration reported 325 laptops missing. Someone wants to make sure that global warming is being reported accurately.

Gutierrez, the Commerce secretary says, “We are viewing this process with the spirit of activity rooting out the problems and addressing them immediately.”

Gee….I could have sworn the two towers were blown. But I don’t know--all these computers missing or stolen in the same year, there is certainly no conspiracy here!

No…”Those people should HAVE those computers! Let them take them!”

Celine was last seen throwing laptop computors off the stage in Las Vegas.

Unfortunatly, I couldn't afford a ticket.

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Richard Branson, the man who loved Virgins so much he named his empire after them, gave 3 billion dollars to Clinton’s Global Initiative today. He did it for global warming, even though it was reported that the ocean’s temperatures have dropped.

That’s because people in America have stopped driving due to the high gas prices. We are so good.

Billionaires are going crazy folks. Warren ‘MoneyBuckett’ and Ted ‘TurherOver’ gave the American loving United Nations, $50 million dollars so that the United Nations could start stockpiling uranium from all over the world.

The United Nations then can hand it out to who THEY think should get it.

Right, let’s trust the American lovers at the United Nations to stockpile uranium.

Iran can just ask for it. That solves the problem.

In comparison, Donald Trumpett, who pissed off a lot of people in California because he put up a giant flagpole with the American Flag over his new golf course without permission, deserves the “billionaire of the year” award for just setting a good example to the other 400 billionaires in the country.

Not too long ago the Forbes list was “millionaires” remember? Back when you were poor.

What, you're still poor?

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X- President Clinton, who was on more TV interviews than I could watch, said that he certainly understood Iran’s feelings…it’s only fair that Iran should want its own arsenal of nukes…why should everyone else get to have them, and not Iran?

That’s the same reasoning he used when he gave China our nuclear secrets, and gave plutonium to North Korea. Clinton thinks all countries should all be armed to the teeth…well its’ only fair.

That makes as much sense as giving every teenager in a high school room in Watts, baseball bats and hand guns.

He said we should “talk to them (Iran) without imposing a lot of conditions." Clinton also said, “I think we should have some contacts with them, I’m not sure the president is the place to start.”

Well, gee Bill, that Nobel peace prize is just a conversation away, isn’t It.?

Nobody’s Perfect; Ted Turner says that men should be bared from public office for over 100 years, because they’ve screwed up the planet hopelessly. After having said that, he wanted Al Gore to be the next President.

I knew there was something strange about that lisp.

Nobody Knows; Bill Clinton, although he is doing it in such a “nice” way, has really criticized President Bush in all his interviews this week. He put him down for going into Iraq; he criticized his stance on prison “torture.” He criticized him for not talking to Iran. But he didn’t have to criticize Laura Bush on her kids pumping water with a playground idea; you could see the condescending smug on his face while she was announcing explaining it at his big summit of world leaders.

Actually, I thought it was a practical and creative solution. But then, she announced that she has started a website for Pakistan? What?

Something is fishy here…because right after Bill talked about how Iran should have nukes like the rest of us, he turned around and threaten them, in that special Clinton way, that we would wipe Iran off the map if they attacked with a dirty bomb.

So, if Clinton is coming out saying what Bush can’t say, then that means that dirty bombs are here, and Clinton was telling them…”don’t do it.’

Is that why they are getting along so well? It’s worse than we think?

See what happens when you watch the Glenn Beck Program?

Nobody Cares’ Actually having to see Bill Clinton with his new face peel on my TV all week, was about as much torture as I can take, when he said:

“You can sit there and feel sorry that you’re not president anymore, (ok. Go ahead.) Or you can find some way to use what you know and WHO you know, and what you know about how to do things, and go out there and do all the good you can.”


And if that wasn't enough, my husband reported seeing lots of strange people walking on the side of the freeways today with back backs on. On the news, they are warning us to expect a BIG tornado.

Gee…do I get to pick?