Nobody Absurdities, No.15

Nobody’s Opinion; Since I was expecting Bill Clinton on C-Span today, I was pleasantly amused at seeing Hillary being the star at Ann Richards Funeral…but of course! What was I thinking! She has to come out sometime. Right now they are probably looking at the next convient democrat to die.

Which could be---Robert Byrd? On the floor today, he repeated everything he said at least 3 times…to give his brain a minute to think of the next line.

One almost thinks these people die on command, setting up the perfect democratic moment. It’s almost too unbelievable…what a fine time for Ann to pass on her legacy to Hillary. Hillary…who was afraid to run in New York, a state she didn’t live in, was given strength by Ann Richards. Hillary even mentioned she was down in Texas once trying to get McGovern elected! And hinted that she got drunk every night!

She is really just like all of us out in Middle America!

Oh, she is trying real hard to connect. Somebody give her a cowboy hat.

Gore would have to die for her to put on a cap for NASCAR.

And what is this deal of someone from Illinois or Mexico, being able to come in and represent a state that they have never even lived in? When did that start?

Can you even look it up? Don’t we need to rewrite some laws?

Hillary was doing a whole new slick; she must be reading the blogs because her husband has obviously been working hard to teach her how to connect with “real” people. You know, by telling simple stories and putting yourself down a bit….Hillary told several stories about her hair style, so you would notice she has a new one. (She looks like Peter Pan older brother eating an apple, due to the leftover Botox in her left cheek.) She was in a great mood…of course, behind her was an all black choir. That’s always a good photo-op for democrats; religion, race, and politics--- all in one sweep.

She is working hard to campaign against…McCain? Really folks. If the Republican Party runs McCain against Hillary, then you have to know that they are actually one party, with a clear agenda.

Running McCain against Hillary would be like running Alka-Seltzer against Coco-Cola; diabetes against cancer; Kermit against Miss Piggy.

Bill Clinton won the first time because of Ross Perot, and then they ran Bob Dole, not exactly a contender. If this continues it‘s probably a sure bet that the candidates are picked for the next 50 years.

Like the people in Budapest…someday we will find out they’ve just been “telling” us that it’s a two party system. But, they will be long gone by then.

Anyway, the Congressional Rumsfeld grilling nearly killed her. But she she’s got Bill out there for her. He is going to be on Larry King tomorrow night.

I think I’ll record it. Dinner with the Clintons is not exactly my idea of a family moment; I would rather take my chances with a bowl of Spinach.

**********

Now, on with the Pope, and the crazy, insane Muslims.

Why is it that when the Prince of Iran says that Israel should be destroyed, you do not see millions of Jews and Christians going down to the middle of a highway and jumping up and down like monkeys, and burning pictures of the Ayatollah Khomeini? And by the way…where do these people get all that energy? What are they eating? Americans are so tired from working two jobs to pay our taxes, to take care of the new immersing of Mexicans, that we not only are too tired to go down to our local churches and jump up and down, we would think it pretty stupid.

Most of us think the Pope should be able to say anything he wants, the Pope should not be exempt from freedom of speech …after all, we hear worse things from George Soros.

Having said that, surely he knew he was going to incite all those idiots to jump up and down all over the world, didn’t he?

This reminds me, I still have a vivid picture of President Bush and Bill Clinton standing together outside of the Vatican at the last Pope’s funeral. They were having the best time, telling jokes.

So, were they joined in a common mission to help pick this guy out? Mmmmm…

Oh the conspiracy theories abound in my nobody head.

Well, if your going to start a fight…then start one. He should have said “We must scorch the earth of all Jihads who want to kill Jews and Christians! Burn Mecca!”

But he let an old historical guy do it for him. Clever.

**********

On the home front we see today, that if your going to get busted in the United States, it pays to be famous and on your way to play for a democratic polical funeral.

Willie Nelson had to give up his pound and a half of grass, and probably some pretty potent mushrooms, and have to go on stage and actually perform being straight.

But then again, if Roger Clinton was there, he did not suffer.

On the same day we hear that the Bush Admisntaration has uploaded anti-drug ads to You-Tube. Our drug policy is much like our immigration policy.

In other words…what policy?

**********

Speaking of policies, you knew this was coming. Al Gore has suggested a pollution Tax to replace all payroll taxes. He has said that the global warming crisis is much worse that an attack from Al-Qaeda.

Along with this absurdly is the Mayor of New York, Michael Bloomberg suggesting that the poor in New York should be rewarded with cash…like they do in Mexico and Brazil, paid by the World Bank.

These two guys must hang out.

Bloomberg says that the poor fall behind on vaccinations.

As far as I can figure out, nobody wants those damn vaccinations, so of course they want the “poor” (mostly illegal immigrants) to survive, so we must pay them to get their shots.

God forbid the “flu” should close down the New York’s elite favorite restaurants.

Or is the “mass destruction” coming to New York, biological buggies?

Now, who do we believe? Bin Laden said he was going to punish all who voted for George Bush, which are the red states. Lately we have news that it’s New York and Washington D.C. that is going to get hit.

Should we trust Gore and relax, because it’s really going to be a heat wave that kills us?
Or should we trust the President and start stocking peanuts?

And when is somebody going to ask Hillary about the “environment?”

This nobody thinks that the only way Hillary would be elected is if we are ‘attacked” before the election and they blame President Bush, therefore pushing that we need a woman to “soften” our image to the world, or they really do run John McCain.

Frankly, I’ve rather see Willie Nelson run, than those two, and that’s not saying much.


Nobodys Perfect; We are all trying to figure out, just how a son mysteriously dies in a mother’s hospital room, with her lawyer standing by? Even though Anna Nicole is not perfect, she was smart enough to get FOX news leading forensic guy to continue the search for the killer, thereby forcing us to see her face and body on TV for the next ten years. She needs to call Bill.

Nobody Knows; Who will be the next head of the U.N? It seems all the candidates, besides Bill Clinton, are from the Far East, with the exception of one Hillary clone from Latvia. I’m betting on her…because to put Bill in before the election, would be too much too obvious…or would anyone say anything?

Nobody Cares; Did you know that when Columbus discovered Cuba he named it Juana? I just thought that was interesting…the people thought Columbus was from “heaven” even after he took a few of them as slaves. Amazing.

Also, in 1956, a prominent eugenicist, William Shockley, co-winner of the Nobel Prize for Physics, conducted studies “proving” that that blacks were “less intelligent” than whites, thereby arguing that taxpayer money should not be wasted on programs designed to improve education in inner cities because nothing would improve their intelligence; (A Jealous God; by Pamela Winnick)

In 1956, the Congress was ruled by Democrats. Actually this is beyond absurd, it criminal. And if I were black, I would think about that little secret in the next election.