Deadlock

Nobody's Opinion; Peta told Al the Gore today that they didn't care that he was running around the world on big private jets, spilling carbon junk all over the planet. They did not care that he was driving limos and excusing himself and all his Hollywood friends from using enough electric and gas in their huge mansions to fuel Japan.

No, they were mad because Al Gore is STILL eating meat. A nasty habit he got from hanging around Bill Clinton.

But Al has said he plans to pay for his steak-loving well-padded self---he will donate two moose and two buffalo to Ted Turner's land, for every hamburger, steak, or pork chop he digests in the name of fairness.

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In another deadlock moment, John Edwards has not only asked for money every time Ann Coulter calls him a faggot, but wants all Christians to donate money to his campaign for President every time they get up in the morning because, in Jesus' eyes, we are all selfish.

Instead of thinking in the long-term interests of the world, which we are told, half the world has, and WILL have aids in the future...we are thinking of that vacation that we were going to take to the Bahamas so we could pay our respects to Anna Nicole Smith.

This, according to Edwards is because we are still thinking in the short-term. All money we happen to graciously take home from our paychecks should be donated immediately to his campaign office, and given directly to his wife.

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Some guy named Scooter Libby was convicted today of a crime that no one in the United States actually cares a dim wit about, because some lady who wasn't even working for the CIA was mentioned in a phone conversation, in a very casual way.

She was not even called good-looking.

The Democrats (actually their leader Bill Clinton) wanted to damage President Bush for Perjury, and make him suffer just like he did, but they had to settle for some one way down the line of command.

So this Libby guy is taking the fall. Which is why Al Gore and Bill Clinton do not get along. Bill wanted Al to say he was in the office with Monica, but Al was not even in Washington the last four years.

Chris Matthews is acting like it's the crime of the century. But, everyone says President Bush will pardon him, and there isn't a thing they can do about it because Bill Clinton pardoned that lady who kept his secrets all through her rough jail time.

This is driving Chris nuts, and makes for wonderful entertainment.

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In the political ring, Hillary and Obama are fighting head to head, when he talks in a church, she talks in a church. When he talks to the Jews, she will talk to the Jews. When he goes into the men's room, she will go into the men's room.

They are glued in the battle to the finish.

The Republicans on the other hand, are like the elephants they are, wandering around and grazing slowly.

All they needed was a little mouse, and they all ran.

There will be less deadlock in Iraq, come election year. But until then, they are all stuck.

Nobody's Perfect: President Bush came out today and ordered a check on all veterans hospitals all over the country.

It took a rat to bite a general to finally get his attention. I guess when you're used to living among rats, you just get use to them.

Nobody Knows: How in the world did the news outlets get all those e-mails from the astronaut-gone-crazy-I'm -going-to-maybe-kill- someone...lady?

Makes you wonder...who's reading your mail?

Nobody Cares: Jenna Bush has written a book about a single mom in South America with aids.
Actually, I liked it better when she was drinking beer in Texas. I always thought she'd make a fine bull wresler.

Where's Billy Carter when you need him?