Nobody's Absurdities, No. 39...Raining Roaches

Nobody’s Opinion: For the first time in quite a while, I just had to turn off the TV last weekend.
Chavez was waving a squirrel, some baby had been stolen and found, somebody had driven a stolen car down into a ditch and started a fire in Anaheim, gas prices were going up again, Anna Nicole was STILL talking about her beating, raping, and horribly abusing mother while the subject of digging up both her and her son’s bodies were being discussed---Kissinger was endorsing McCain, hard-core porn was being played on some MTV cable program in the middle of a Sunday afternoon, and while walking around the block tonight, I noticed that the white truck with the snow plow in front, that had been parked in my Muslims neighbors driveway…was gone.

Like my annual spring-time basement event, the news was raining roaches.

Here are a few of the more noticeable “bugs.”

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Hillary has decided that she should be elected because, well, she is a woman. Somehow, she manages to compare this reasoning to why JFK was elected, which was because he was a Catholic.

Don’t you just love the logic?

She decided to inform us all once again, that we are ready for a woman leader….her.

She fails to mention, that the “maggot” (I say this in honor of Ann Coulter) she married will be ruling by her side. And the proof of that is she will be bringing her pontificating maggot out everywhere, because she can’t win on her credentials alone.

One can only hope that the infestation of our two Presidential dynasties, the Clintons and Bushes, will in this upcoming 2008, but squashed forever.

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And speaking of squashing maggots, there was just released by two professors in Pennsylvania ---the news that Bill Clinton is considered by most modern historians as the greatest modern President.

This tells you all you need to know about our modern historians.

Reagan was not even considered, even though last year the PEOPLE of the United States overwhelmingly voted Reagan as the best.

With Hillary running and both of them wanting back on Air Force One, getting two professors somewhere to make that claim is suppose to not only feed the ego of Bill Clinton, who is forever trying to rewrite history to proclaim himself as the most magnificent human to ever grace the planet, but get the voters to put him in office again by electing her.

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But, that little “news bug” was not really bothering me. What really is quite the worry is being reported very quietly.

It seems American history is going to be erased. (again) The Library of Congress, we are told will basically disappear. Only 10 percent of the 132 million objects will be digitized. Who knows what will happen to the rest of it?

Something tells me it won't end up on e-bay.

In other words, censorship will be applied to the web. You will only see what they want you to see.

The National Archives, which holds some nine billions documents, also,will hardly be digitalized at all. Sandy Berger will not have to ruin anymore socks. Those nine billions documents will, like the lost library of Alexandria, be someday lost to the world. Only the likes of the very few will ever know about it.

What a better way for a government to cover all its tracks.

What a better way to erase and change history. Just say there is no money to save it.

Google will pick and choose what it wants us to see. And with Al Gore on its board, one can only imagine what our young people will be reading.

Probably, how Al Gore saved the Planet.

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And speaking of extermination, scientists that are actually refuting Al Gore’s doomsday prediction are getting death threats.

According to the scientists that are being allowed to live, millions of Africans and South Americans in twenty years will have no water. But Red Bull and Tequila will still be served.

By 2080, about 600 million people will be starving probably due to trans-fat being outlawed.

Polar Bears will all die off…maybe.

But NOT if we just stop driving we are being told.

After all, the rich just HAVE to fly in their big jets to get out the message. Somebody has to make the sacrifice for the suffering, and according to them, it might as well be us nobodies.

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On a more personal note, spring means the roaches come inside. Sometimes they literally fall off the basement ceiling onto my nobody head.

And since my nobody bed in IN the basement, it’s doesn’t make for a good’s night sleep. There you are, finally in a deep sleep, and you feel a HUGE roach falling down on your head or arm and scampering off down into the sheets.

Then you have to jump up, get OUT of bed, and of course, you see the sucker, and he is long gone under the bed before you can catch him.

It’s really creepy, just like the news coming out of Washington.

Washtington D.C., just like my house, needs a Roach exterminator as big as GOD.

And don’t you DARE suggest Arnold. He has become one of the biggest cockroaches around.

Somewhere there is a cockroach hell, and I’m planning on sending a few to visit there soon. I would hate to have to move upstairs and face the sunlight and actually become a cheery person.

Nobody’s Perfect: Okay, I’m not very cheery today, blame it on the weather.

Nobody’s Knows; Also, I’ve just about heard enough of how Newt had three wives and a affair, Rudy had three wives, one of whom wanted a Vagina monologue with the world.

Why is it that somehow, Bill and Hillary's scam of a marriage, is considered more respectable than the honest reporting of Newt and Rudy being married three times?

The real question is: were Bill and Hillary EVER a husband and wife?

Nobody Cares: Roaches can live three or four months without eating, but can only go one month without water. In the light of this fact, global warming could be a good thing. I'm feeling better already.