Bill and Oprah: Turkey Tenders

Nobody’s Opinion: While all the candidates are scrambling to get on the various roundtables like Meet the Press and Face the Nation before the Iowa caucuses, Bill Clinton, the man who knows most voters don’t even watch those shows, got himself on Oprah on Thanksgiving Day.

And Oprah was not exactly thrilled.

After his mesmerizing grand entrance, which he must practice in his various bedrooms every night---Oprah made it known to everyone that it was Bill Clinton, not her, who called and “requested” the appearance.

You could tell Oprah was mad because she had to bow to this request. Somewhere, I bet Obama was fuming. Despite all the power that she has, it seems, as Bob Dylan once noted: “You gotta serve somebody.”

Evidently even Oprah has a “somebody.” She had the “I’ve been crying all night, but I will not cow down to this turkey.” look on her face.

She very sweetly introduced him as the former President---Bill Clinton. She then asked the question; Just what should I call you…Your Highness, Your Majesty?

Bill narrowed his eyes…”You’re good.”

And she is right---The habit that Bill Clinton has on insisting everyone introduce him as “President” is beyond obnoxious.

Could it be that Oprah is starting to actually think about “politics?”

Bill’s excuse for this arrogance is, “Well, everyone just calls me that.”

Then Bill continued on with his show, with his ever relentless platform of “giving.”
(As if none of us know how.) He likes to keep saying, “You will get a huge return if you just give.”
Right---Americans are going to pay off their credit cards, put their kids through college, and be able to take a vacation over ten miles away from home with their great “returns” from Bill Clinton.

Let me see if I’ve got this right. Our country’s deficit is so beyond comprehension, our grandchildren will still be working on paying off just the interest alone…

Americans have the highest household debt that has ever been recorded, something like $10,000 a person, and that’s just the credit cards…

Higher Taxes are coming…

But forget your bills---give to others first.

Yes, Bill wants you send your money to help some poor lady carrying mud in South America just so she can start a nice business for herself.

The new Bill Clinton’s form of communism, cloaked in Jesus’ robes, is called KIVA. They say it's as much fun as shopping online...just try it! Normal American’s make “loans” with no interest to poor people all over the world. The loans are paid back of course, but not really to your bank account…it gets turned over to Juanita in Kenya!

Your reward is the good feeling you will get, because you did not pay off your bills just so Juanita could start a business and make Bill and Oprah feel good about themselves.

Gee, what a wonderful world!

“Giving is the most selfish thing I have done.” Bill proudly claims.

Well, I think Paula Jones, Kathleen Willey, and various other “victims” of Bill’s might dispute that.

Then they bought out a young girl who, while dying of a kidney disease started sending money to poor kids in Africa because she saw them on Oprah. Much to her credit she had raised a lot of money.

Remember…she got the idea on Oprah.

The next subject was dear to both their hearts---controlled schools. Parents have no say, students have no say---but Bill and Oprah will generously “give” your poor black child an education...just sign away all rights on the dotted line.

They even bought out retired tennis master Andre Angassi to show off his controlled “school” in Las Vegas for poor black kids.

But the best part came at the end. Just when it looked like Oprah could get no farther away from her “guest” on the stage, she started bragging about how much she had raised for the poor and needy all over the world. She produced precise maps of her “angel” network throughout the world. In fact, she has raised over $72 million.

“Well, my foundation has raised over $10 billion.” said Bill---Ho!

To see these two turkey tender multimillionaires trying to up each other’s fundraising abilities on national TV was just a gobble away from a regular turkey like me to scream...

“More whip cream!”

I can’t wait for round two. Next year---I'll bring the pie. I’ll even give you a piece.

Nobody's Perfect: I'm not against giving anything. But I do believe in taking care of your own first, otherwise nobody can give anything. If you've got it to give, then go ahead. But if your in debt, I think it's wise to get out of debt first.

Nobody's Knows: All these programs are just the warm up for the soon to come "mandatory" giving, which will be more of the state taking away our time, and our money to redistribute it around the world.

Nobody Cares: I actually think this big attention grab for Hillary's failing poll numbers might backfire on Bill and Hillary. I wouldn't want to make Oprah mad. She might resort to calling Bill and Hillary---King and Queen. She might just have enough influence among the poor classes to affect Hillary's chances. Only time will tell if that "somebody" lets her.