A Roll Call of Speeches

Nobody’s Opinion: So, Happy Campers…here’s how a leftover hippie nobody sitting in the middle of a hot August month, Labor Day weekend, judged all the Democratic nonsense of last week. Forget all those professional dudes and dudettes making lots of money telling you just what went down, what you need a different outlook, on just what happened…

Because, nobody really knows what kind of stuff that actually goes on behind the scenes…all we can do is guess.

Who should be our next President? Let’s just judge the speeches….

First, we had the last chance at the dance, Hillary Clinton. Hillary was at her best, and she gave the most magnificent speech that she has ever, or will ever make. I don’t care if she runs again four years from now---she should just make the same speech.

I frankly, don’t remember a word she said, but who cares? When we all heard the applause as she entered the stage, all her loyal fans thought…What in the world is wrong with Obama? Women were crying into their recycled cups…oh my God…he picked Joe Biden! How could he?

And then the second day came, and the infamous…“ROLL CALL” which everyone is claiming was not infamous…but don’t believe them.

I just love it, when most of the nobodies in the world notice things so blatantly unfair and just down right amazing, and nobody else in the world says a thing.

That does it. The rest of the world is on drugs.

I was eating my popcorn and really getting into the roll call. There she was, Nancy Pelosi, right out of Vogue, calling off every state alphabetically, and giving every state a chance to announce their electoral votes! Just to see all the people there, who had taken the time from their busy lives and go to this convention and believe that their vote counts was pretty…well, it beats cleaning house.

I thought it was much more entertaining than watching the Simpsons. I saw at least four Homers in every state. That guy gets around.

When it came to keeping score…on the CNN screen, there was OBAMA in BIG, letters, and underneath him…a tiny little font called, “Hillary”

That should have been the first clue.

And every state was about the same. They all gave Hillary, a few “token” votes. The rest went to Obama. Okay, we all knew Obama was going to win, but Hillary was getting slaughtered.

Then they came to California, over 400 votes and…I thought, “Hey, Hillary could catch up here.” But…they passed.

WHAT?

Then, Illinois passed. Then as the great state of New York was coming up…down she ran, as fast as she could…to stop the announcement.

I’ve never seen her even run before!…and yes…Hillary stopped the whole nation from hearing, not only how many electoral votes the biggest states had cast and for WHOM, but the rest of the states were not even allowed to continue because Hillary and Nancy basically smiled and said…Okay...Obama wins! Wow…Democracy at it’s finest. In every other contest, the votes go to the end…but Hillary and Nancy stopped it cold.

Somewhere in Texas, there were some very mad people who did not get to see their Homers on TV.

Then came Bill Clinton’s speech. Bill said ‘thank you’ about 2,597 times to the thunderous applause that proved he was the most popular Democrat in the world. Bill got even bigger applause than Hillary. He looked twenty years younger, and I don’t remember what he said either, but he outdid Hillary. And no matter how soppy he looked with that “I love you” look on his face while listening to her speak the night before, Bill Clinton will never let anyone ever outshine him, not even her…and that’s why he simply couldn’t be at that stadium with Obama.

Then came Obama’s speech. His speech, out of the three, was the very worst. (That’s my opinion) The ending of it was not exactly climatic. It was just…another one of his speeches. Most of them are the same nebulous stuff.

But the spectacle reminded me of another great speaker in history… who used to hypnotized great masses of people…I won’t mention his name. Madonna might get mad.

I do remember a few things he said. I think he wants to attack Russia, go into caves and “get” bin Laden, and basically start WWIII. Hopefully, all those people at the stadium will volunteer to fight. Oprah should donate her false eyelashes and raise money for guns.

And so, we all went on our merry way thinking, “Okay, McCain is toast.” until we heard a final speech.

A short acceptance speech of a real American that will be remembered looooong after all the other speeches are gone…a speech by a young woman…who like Bill Clinton was before he was elected President, a governor…

And if you judge by the four speeches from last week who our next President should be…
She’s not running for the office. But Sarah Pelin, in my humble opinion, was the only trustworthy American speaking.