Nobody's Absurdities, No 63..Nobody Can Smell A Conspiracy Like Me!

Nobody's Absurdities,

NO. 63

A few days ago, I was listening to Glenn Beck (yes, I’m a big fan) and he was ranting in his usual adorable “The sky is falling and I can’t believe that I can see it!” way. He was attacking conspiracy theorists who were, according to him, getting into all kinds of nonsense about Obama’s birth certificate. He made the point that Obama could not get a valid passport if he did not have a driver’s license.

(Gee, I wish he’d quit picking on me.)

Uh…Hello? Did Glenn miss the news that there are at least 400 places set up just to help illegal immigrants get fake passports, driver’s licenses, whatever documents they need, and that’s not counting the hundreds ones south of the border?

If a poor illegal can get a fake one, surely, surely…the great Senator from Chicago can manage to get a real one. Someone who daily gets millions of dollars of illegal campaign contributions from foreign contributors certainly would not have any trouble at all getting a fake drivers license, or even a fake birth certificate for that matter.

That Glenn--- he’s so adorable.

To this I say; in the words of Paul Simon: (and whoever he stold the phrase from)

One man’s ceiling is another man’s floor.

Let me add to that, “One man’s conspiracy theory is another man’s fact.”

Case in point: In St. Louis, there is only one newspaper, The Post Dispatch, which is about as liberal as you can get, and has for decades put more news about the dying people of Africa in it, then any news of the city. When St. Louis had a sports hero of any kind, whether in baseball, or hockey, the paper always, with great joy, ran that favorite money-making hero out of town.

Years ago, believe it or not, there was another paper here called, The Globe, which presented a conservative point of view, but the unions ran it out, and destroyed it.

Today they would call that act “a fairness doctrine” but back them, it was just union muscle.

The Post-Dispatch also had a smaller paper, called The North County Journal, which served the local neighborhoods. It was free, because it was 90% advertisements. Last week it was announced that right after the elections, you will now have to pay for it if you want to know what’s going on locally, because the big Post has no such news.

I have to admit I am going to miss it, because it’s usually in the little tiny headlines waaaay back in the section by “Joe’s Meat Market sale” that I find out what is really going on in the world.

Yes, the most important news is sometimes right under your very nose.

Here’s a headline from the last issues that I will ever get:

Police Chief Wolf flew home from St. Petersburg, Russia a few weeks ago, and the travel left him a bit jet-lagged for a few days.(ahhhhh)

Wolf, a member of the International Association of Police Chiefs spent a whirlwind week in Russia earlier this month attending an Interpol convention. (I am NOT making this up.)

The association paid for the trip. (That was to make us all feel better because our taxes property taxes here are OFF THE CHARTS!)

(I'm surprise they didn't send our fire department! )

Wolf said the gathering was an opportunity to share ideas and information and gather input from colleagues from around the world.

And this news is supposed to comfort me? Sorry Glenn, I smell a conspiracy.

This is the way I see it. If this guy Wolf, an American police chief of a VERY small town (a Democrat, as most are) is being sent over to Russia to learn how to rule mob crowds, and is being taught by the KGB--- where do you think Obama got his training?

More importantly…why is there any such organization in the first frigging place? All our small town politicians and teachers are always making trips overseas to “learn.”

What? You don’t see a conspiracy here?

Sorry Glenn, but I don’t buy it that my police chief was just going over to Russia just to learn how to write a traffic ticket. I think they are expecting race riots sometime in the very near future. And who knows better how to control their people than the old guard of Russia.

I suspect this because North County of St. Louis, (where I live) is predominantly black.

Remember---Bill Clinton spent time in Moscow at the Russian University, (Where they teach communism, which, by the way, is also where that lovable dictator,MAO learned crowd control.) when he was a student at Oxford. He said he was just visiting friends.

And, isn’t it a coincidence that Obama and Bill Clinton just happen to both be Constitutional law “experts?"

You sure can’t tell.

So-- I consider myself to be a very proud conspiracy theorist when the circumstantial evidence is monumental. Put me right up there with the hated Ross Perot, who tried to tell the American people how NAFTA was going to send jobs out of the country forever, and they still make fun of the man and his “charts.”

He’s still on everyone’s nutcase list.

But in my book, Perot was a great patriot; he was trying to warn the country that he loved. I voted for him twice, and would do it again in a heartbeat.

So, in Glenn's words; Here's one thing I know: Many powerful and rich people want Obama to be President, and they will lie, cheat and steal the election if they have to.

Obama, no matter what he says, wants to destroy America, the Constitution, and all that we have ever stood for.

And that’s not a conspiracy, that’s a certifiable fact.