Shopping and Smoking With Obama

Nobody Knows: Today, I went to my local shopping mall. I walked the whole mall and saw only four other shoppers. And they were like me, pretending to shop.

Like a lot of Americans, I have no extra money to spend right now, but of course, that doesn’t stop me…because I will look for any excuse to go to the mall…there is a bookstore there.

Somebody has to keep those poor things company.

Forget Chris Mathews-- I get goosebumps every time I pass a huge book on Egyptology. It’s sad.

Anyway, as soon as I got pass the “Best Sellers” I went all the way back to the magazines and grabbed about five “Extravagant Pools and Spa’s of the World” magazines. (Okay, I have a secret fantasy to own a pool that looks like a cross between Hugh Hefner’s famous grotto, and the sheer cliffs of Dover---it’s a sickness.)

I also wanted to glance at two books I couldn’t afford, due to my pet food bills: Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell, and They Must Be Stopped, by Brigitte Gabriel---both excellent choices, which will cause overdue fines at my local library as soon as I finished with, “For Whom the Bell Tolls.”

Or doesn’t toll, I haven’t found out yet.

Now that I found out that President Bush and Carl Rove have read over 45 books last year, I must certainly keep up. Of course, they have chefs, and butlers, and gardeners, and I spend part of my day scraping old bird droppings off my back concrete porch…so I deserve at least a handicap of ten…but back to my story.

There I was, no one else in the store, all comfy in my big overstuffed chair…dreaming of swimming in a smooth glass of blue water heaven…and a man in his middle thirties, with Dan Ackoroid pants on, came right over, sat right down RIGHT across from me, and opened up a, “How to Grow Reefer” magazine, and held it right in front of his face so I couldn’t see him.

He was so close; I could have kicked his knee with my bird-dropping tennis shoe.

NOBODY KNOWS just how HARD it was for me to NOT ask this guy, just exactly what he was going to grow, and how much money did he plan to make?. God it was hard.

We sat there across from each other for a good 20 minutes and he didn’t even turn the page. I even coughed really loud, and he didn’t move a finger.

So…here’s the question: It’s illegal to grow and sell pot, right? So why is there a whole magazine sold on newsstands describing how to do this very act? Soros is getting too excited?

Next thing you know there will be magazines on how to process meth.

Once thing is sure, nothing surprises me anymore…because nobody knows. And speaking about that subject…

Nobody Knows: It is being reported that Obama will send more troops into Afghanistan because, we are told that if the Taliban gets stronger, they will take over and once again use the money made from the greatest Opium fields in the world to finance another major attack on the United States.

Uh…so…Why are these opium fields still standing, again? Anyone?

Here’s the irony. Obama’s chief foreign policy counseling is coming from Jimmy Carter’s old Comrade, Zbigniew Brzezinski. It was Brzezinski who armed the “freedom fighters” who became the mujahedeen, who became Al-Qaeda…in the first place.

I’m thinking...maybe Harry Reid is looking for a few extra billion dollars to pay for that Mafia Museum he wants to build in Las Vegas. After all, the mobsters in Chicago expect a little payback for all their recent hard Obama campaigning work.

And speaking of Brzezinski, he once said in his book “Between Two Ages: America’s Role In the Technetronic Era”…and I quote: (well, a bit)

“The technetronic era involves the gradual appearance of a more controlled society. Such a society would be dominated by elite, unrestrained by traditional values”

These guys don’t even bother to hide their egomaniac tendencies to be major buttholes. They write books about it. They just can’t help themselves. And if that isn’t enough, his son Mark also works for Obama, and his other son was McCain’s foreign policy adviser.

“Is it safe?”

Brzezinski’s daughter, Mika, is on MSNBE with good old cup of coffee Morning Joe!

Mika---now there’s an American name!

Nobody Knows, but certainly this nobody wonders, just what he means by “traditional values.” I certainly hope that he keeps the, “Thou shall not kill nobody citizens because they didn’t want to be controlled” intact.

But then again, they are chipping dogs now…it’s only a matter of time before we are all being tracked by the NSA...and speaking of the NSA…they are now working on a face recognition technology where If Michael Jackson is seen entering the Super Bowl everyone will be warned immediately to watch out for his nose.

It’s invisible now---no telling what he’s hiding in there.

Okay, stranger things have happened lately. Nobody Knows why the 111th Congress refused to seat a legitimate and lawfully placed black Senator, but will accept a comedian who found a few extra votes in the men’s room at Saturday Night Live, just because he always bragged he was in Bill Clintons’ family.

Al Franken is more capable than Roland Burns? A lawyer can run the CIA?

Who’s on first?

Obama, the coach, said today that Panetta (his nomination for the CIA) had an “impeccable record of integrity” John D. Rockefeller seconded that emotion.

Tell me, how can anyone spend even a month with Bill Clinton and claim to have integrity?

Personally, I think they've all been smokin'.