Monday, February 16, 2009

Diamonds and Pipes

Nobody’s Knows:

Here we see two pictures that explain why I haven’t written in a copy of days. One picture is of a diamond pen, complete with an insignia ring. Only one of these pens is made a year, and it can be yours for $1.3 million dollars. As far as we know, it was in the doggie bag that Michelle Obama was carrying home from her Valentine dinner.

Can you imagine being so rich that a diamond studded pen is just a simple treat? The trouble is: I can picture Obama signing hundreds of executive orders with a pen like this, and he would think nothing of it.

The second is a picture of a rotten cast-iron pipe. This looks exactly like the one that was found today underneath my house by a plumber (jack hammered out in seconds of course) who took all of two weeks to find out, that the pipe doesn’t go through my finished bedroom downstairs as he told us, but …oops…it takes a sudden turn and goes under the wall, through the closet, under the stairs--- and then who knows where…and he thinks he can fix it, but well--- we might have to tear down the wall.

And by the way, maybe he can finish it by…well there’s the inspection…and…he’s not saying. He had an “emergency” today, and a new baby that keeps him up at night.

What can I say?

In the meantime, I have some pretty funky looking things growing in my bathtub. It’s starting to glow.

He tells us this after we spent two whole days dismantling the bedroom. In fact, my whole finished off basement is so trashed I’m thinking of claiming myself as an illegal from Mexico (I’m willing to die my hair black for this) just so I can collect pay and Social Security for putting my house back together, which will probably take until this time next year, if I don’t die of radon gas lung disease first.

I think I’ll call myself Selma.

And since the smell of sewages, might never leave the furniture…my bedroom now has to be moved upstairs.

Where’s my infrastructure money? If I was actually buying a house, I could get $8,000 right up front. No kidding. I heard this on the local news this morning.

Tonight, I just glanced at the Drudge report: Kansas--Bankrupt. California---Bankrupt. Oregon Steel---Bankrupt. United States---Bankrupt, Bankrupt, Bankrupt.
I am seriously considering not getting out of bed. Of course, every time I try this trick, (staying in bed) my dog has to go outside.

The truth is: if you have ever had to do major repairs on your house and you can’t use your water or electric, for WEEKS at a time…life just got lots harder.

And this is happening all over the United States. Gee…what a coincidence.
Not that we are suppose to complain. It’s just that, you could handle most stuff, if you could turn on you favorite TV show and not have to listen to your favorite character rant about “right-wing-nuts” and their murderous right-wing habits of blowing up and killing innocent people be written into the plots.

Yeah, Medium, was all about some patriotic guy and his smart son…who blew up buildings with fertilizer, all those right wing nuts want to do is kill Americans.

How can you escape?
Anyway, as lots of people know, but won’t admit, your house is like an extension of yourself. If your house is out of order, the universe is out of order.
So, it’s time to clean house. And I’m starting with mine.

When it is wreaked, the only thing you can do is start over…take a different approach, throw away old clothes, records, and get rid of that old furniture. (put the whole 111st Congress down a big hole.)

Who knows, maybe somewhere in all the junk I’ll find my old diamond ring that my dear grandmother gave me on my 18th birthday…that I lost.

She died an hour later.

I’ll let you know.



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8:37 PM  

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