Nobody's Absurdities, No. 75: Canine Flu

Nobody Absurdities,

No. 75...

"Nobody's Newsflash Update!"

It is now being reported that your dog needs to get a flu shot right along with you.

Yes, it's the new "Canine Flu," and it's a real killer. It was reported on my local news tonight that we had a new crisis on our hands...our dogs could die...and soon. Our dogs need our help. They need....flu shots, just like us.

And just like the swine flu shots the canine flu shots need to be given in doses of two for each canine, at the price of $25.00 a piece.

As you can see by this poor poodle, who got the canine flu over the weekend, this canine flu does some pretty terrible and unthinkable things to the dog before the dog dies a painful and embarrassing death.

Fluffy was overcome with the urge to be a flower, and a bug. The virus also went to her tail...it's just that lethal.

So, while you're busy waiting for YOUR swine flu shots...might as well get your beloved canines the most necessary swine flu shot...wait, I mean canine shot...wait, I mean mercury shot...wait..oh..you know...the government shots.

Can you believe this? First China tries to poison our dogs and if that was not enough, they sent over a canine vaccine, filled, just like the swine flu shot...with lots of mercury.

I guess nobody is buying those new lightbulbs...that's not working.

The real truth is, China wants to release a biological weapon and kill off at least a third of us, before they invade. And you know me...better safe than dead.

Which is why I'll wait till my neighbor and her dog die of the flu before I worry about it.

Nobody could make this stuff up. (Well, the poodle...is still alive and in Miami Beach...but the rest of it...HAS been reported, I swear.)

Believe what you want...it couldn't get more absurd.