Thursday, January 14, 2010

Independent Zombies

Nobody Knows the problems that the Republican are up against:

Independent Zombies.

The news has been out for quite some time: voters who are calling themselves Independents are, basically…zombies. Zombies---walking around without a party, or a recognizable country. Independent Zombies looking for VOO-DOO dolls of nefarious politicians to poke with pins. Some of those pins are going into big, fat, GOP elephants.

The Republican Party is concerned, as well they should be.

Millions of Independent Zombies feel like they are walking around in the dark, in a country that considered them dead long ago. Praying is not helping them much. Many of them are crawling in the graveyard dirt due to heavy loss of limbs, legs, property, and jobs.

And yesterday, this very Independent Zombie felt like she ran into a rather big synchronistic brick wall-- what with the earthquake in Haiti: the much awaited interview with Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin: Pat Roberson’s ranting: and my old friend Ray who is out to save my poor demented zombie soul.

As I watched Obama’s minions pass Obamascare in the hidden caves of Pelosi’s Mordor, while the world watched the Haitian pain, I felt like my left foot fell off.

You know the feeling.

So I turn to Glenn Beck every day. Glenn Becks’s new theme, “Faith, Hope, and Charity” sounds nice. He gives us visions of George Washington and the Statue of Liberty. But using clever slogans and patriotic symbols to snag your emotional zombie heart is not much different than Obama repeating “Hope and Change” for two years.

I don’t know if he’s aware that many zombies don’t feel much anymore…let’s just say we feel like dead meat from years of broken promises.

As Glenn Beck started Sarah off to the White House racetrack on his show, the message was clear; the Independent Zombies have to either join Republicans, or get off the track.

What’s a poor Independent Zombie to do?

One fact is undeniable; Both Glenn and Sarah are very religious people, and extremely intelligent and gifted patriots, so that should give us hope. But President George W. Bush was ALSO full of faith and hope, and lots of charity.

Where did that get us?

The voo-doo Bush worked upon us hurt not only the Republican Party, but gave us a President who it seems can’t find a true faith in anything but his own personal Marxist Global-Sanctuary, complete with lots of creepy Mao-worshipping “populists” ghouls.

And now they want us to trust them?

That’s the trouble with “faith.” ---it’s a lot like love. It’s a great thing, but it won’t put food in your mouth, or feed your kids, or bring back your poor mother who’s laying under ten feet of solid concrete---and that’s where Pat Roberson’s comments yesterday were almost beyond forgiveness.

Pat, a man of great faith, said the poor Haitian people who were dying were being punished by a God earthquake because long ago their ancestors made a pack with the devil, in the form of Voo-Doo. God, according to Pat, is a firm believer in affirmative action.

Poor Sarah and Glenn. They both knew in professing their faith on TV that they were setting themselves up for the fall---they just didn’t expect Pat Roberson to come out and push them off the cliff.

Surely, the poor people of Haiti did nothing to deserve this act of nature (or warfare) They are innocent victims. To even suggest that these people, the descendants of slaves, did anything to deserve horrible deaths by two hundred tons of concrete falling on their heads is completely ludicrous.

The left of course took that absurd statement and ran with it.

That kind of nonsense makes me zombie mad, and damages the conservative “cause” (and you know what happens when zombies get mad.) So I was already on a zombie rant when I read my friend Ray’s letter. He is worried that because I won’t accept Jesus as my one and only savior, I will not get into heaven, and he will miss seeing me there.

Jesus said,” Only through me can you get into heaven” or something to that order.

Frankly, it might have been Paul saying that Jesus said that, when starting his church because all Zombies know, whenever you hear anyone say the words: “Only through ME will the country (or you) be saved” it’s best to count your fingers and toes.

Until someone can pull out a video tape of Jesus making that statement himself, I’ll take my chances with going directly to God. And if you knew Ray like I know Ray, he’s be happy to meet up with a few virgins in heaven. I certainly do not want to disappoint him.

But, back to the bloodless Zombies.---most of the American people are really sick and tired of both parties. There are now more Independents in America than there are believers who have “faith” in either party. Washington D.C. witnessed the gathering of Independent Zombies last year, walking around the moat, trying to get into the White House Castle to be heard…arms outstretched, and literally begging for salvation.

Doooooo…nooooot…killll….usssssssssssss, noooooo…..

But clever politicians know that Zombies can’t swim the moat of the Capitol. Nevertheless they do need them for the next election. Especially the Republicans, who feel it’s their last call.

Those stupid third party idiots, (they think)-- they will destroy our Republic..

I bet the most esteemed Republican, Rush Limbaugh, is now sorry he called Independents “Idiots” for so many years, because Independent Zombies actually have memories. They can tell you the day they lost their right arms. I lost mine the day I heard Rush saying nasty things: calling me, a proud American Independent…stupid.

Rush, if he was reading this would say: Well that proves it: Independent Zombies who will split the Republican ticket are just plain…brainless. We must work from the framework we have.

This condescending attitude of course, gets Republicans no Zombie votes…therefore, you have to wonder where they left their remarkable brains?

The Republicans know that America will not be saved in our lifetime. It’s okay for them. But, what about the rest of us? If elected, can Sarah get rid of the Department of Education? Can she get rid of the foreign money? Big unions? China? The Chicago Mafia? The Clintons? The Bushes? The Department of Commerce? The Fanatical Jihadists that want to kill us? Universal Health Care? The Defecit? The Corporate Internationals who now run so much of everything?

Can she take hold the politicians to be punished when they break our laws?

Can she?

That’s a tall order for anyone. The President, is NOT God, even though the office has morphed into a position so powerful men will spend billons to get into it.

So, Enquiring Zombies want to know…why are they, our good guys, fighting the good American Independent Patriots?

So as not to upset the apple cart---to save the union, they want to prevent the country from too much damage. They’d rather see us just…survive.

We get it. We DO understand…but we don’t feel any better.

In his Sarah Palin interview Glenn Beck call Ronald Reagan “dumb” along with every Republican President of the past, almost insinuating that Sarah will be the first smart Republican to ever hold the office…after all, she has a Blackberry.

Not as bad as Pat Robertson’s comment, but not exactly a gem of wisdom. Yeah, he was so dumb he destroyed Russia without a shot.

Glenn also said that Bill Gates wants more LEGAL immigrants. Okay. Does he also know how many jobs those Indian workers take away from our kids? So, if they are LEGAL it’s…okay?

Both Sarah and Glenn were trying very delicately to say JUST The right thing.

Glenn claims he is an independent. Zombies are not so sure.

Okay, enough--- while I’m trying to find my thighbone, let me give you this little scene: from a very Independent but not-yet Zombie x-President—who makes my point much more succinctly than I ever could.


On January 25, 1842, John Quincy Adams, who was serving at the time in the House of Representatives after his Presidency, offered a petition from 46 citizens of Haverhill, Massachusetts to dissolve the Union---to protest and end slavery. The Southerners reacted in great fury. A Virginian presented a resolution to censure him, maintaining high treason; He said Adams had insulted the Congress and the United States.

Adams then demanded a reading of the Declaration of Independence. When the clerk came to the passage declaring the right of a people to throw off a despotic government and to provide new guards for future security, he insisted that the passage be read again.

You see, that’s what I’m getting at. We have a right to throw off a despotic government. How many years do we have to wait? We will be, at the end of Obama’s term, slaves to the state. Will all the laws enacted on his watch be destroyed?

Slavery of a people to be under the yoke forever of a corrupt two-party system that condemns every American citizens to lives of servitude to the one-party system that we now really have…deserves at least a Zombie peaceful uprising.

Zombies can’t swim, but we can walk up walls…

Otherwise, to this Independent Zombie, there is not much to look forward to…

Now, has anyone seen my nose?



Anonymous Anonymous said...

Amfortas says:

And you may not like this Joy..... but that Adams fellow has a lot to answer for. Yes he was a staunch fellow and I would have gladly shared a pint of ale with him, but 'tis pity I wasn't around then. I might have had some strong words between jugs with him about this whole 'America' thingo. Just look waht he did !! Did her really believe that the rich and crooked would steer clear of becoming Congressmen and Representatives? These were people who had already shown their disloyalty.

Its a bit of a toss-up whether we go with the zombies or the crooks. A pox on them all I say.

I shoulda been elected last time around. At least you tried hard, Joy, and we gave it a good shot. But by cricky if I had won we would be in a different ball game I can tell you.

You would have a fine paying job at the very least as my Press Czar! I still have a pair of Cabinet cuff links somewhere - or did you put them somewhere?

10:44 PM  
Blogger Joyanna Adams said...

Well, if your still interested in being President my dear, then we must get started. They need a great King in Haiti, and you're just the man.

I'm sure the election will be a shoe-in. Bring food.

As for my dear JQA, he was the SON of JOHN, and was just trying like the rest of the world to make a respectable living.

I would have loved to see the arguments of you and JQA! Hop in my time machine!

And yes, America missed a great opportunity on not putting you on the list...

We did try.

10:04 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Amfortas says:

Hmmmm. King of Haiti. I would be in charge of lots of voodoo dolls (lady Gaga perhaps) and attract the Rev Robberson's ire. The poor ol' Debil will probably be blamed again.

But no. Neither Kingship (again) nor the American Presidency. There are moments in history when great things can be accomplished, but if the populous misses the boat and refuses to vote, the historian will gloat.

Just think how different and Principled things would be today if America had remained colonial for just a couple of decades more and inherited the British Empire when it came of age. As it is it created Watts and Chicago, Hollywood and Harlem. And Biden and NOW and Pelosi and Marilyn French. And Dworkin, McKinnon, the Mz Magazine and Mary Koss.

Bring back burning witches at the stake, I say. Mort dit.

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