What Caused the Quake?

Nobody Flashes:

The answer has finally come.

At last, many of the world's finest scientists, working day and night under the famous hot houses of Brussels....agree that they have found out what caused the devastating earthquake in Haiti.

The same men who discovered the BIG BANG have done the math. The debate is over.

Pat Robinson took a guess and said it was due to the Devil, but he was wrong.

Danny Glover said it was because all those people at the Copenhagen summit on global warming just sat around eating too much food and ignoring that the ground underneath them was beginning to rumble. He was wrong too.

No...it was actually because at that VERY moment that the Buji Dubai building was setting off fireworks to celebrate it's long anticipated opening...bin Laden was having a party at the top of that very tallest of buildings in the world, to celebrate his many victories.

He whole family was attending, which adds up to over half of Saudi Arabia.

So...when the last dance by bin Laden's cousin, Latifica Mumand, who hips are well known throughout the Dubai center of recreational dancing...got to it's vibrating end...it caused a butterfly affect...

Her magnificent vibrations sent all the tall buildings of the world into a series of minor shakes causing tremendous pressure on the very mantle of the earth's crust....which accumulated exactly five miles off the coast of Port du Prince.

Thereby, within minutes, Haiti was devastated.

And yet, the UN (due to the fact that the whole UN army was in Haiti at the moment)

STILL...does nothing.

This time, we will give them a pass.

(Nobody steals a line from Dave Barry, and makes this stuff up.)