Thursday, March 18, 2010

Nobody Flashes: European Union to MODIFY English Language?

Nobody Flashes: Elites can change language with the flick of a pen? Fact or fiction?

This just in: from my friend in Kansas City...(note, remember in e-mails you never know what the truth is...or whether this is a joke or for real...BUT..since we are witnessing a new Napoleon named Obama basically trying to crown himself KING today..changing the best language in the world...English...into some kind of fubar...let's just say, I wouldn't put it passed any of the globalbots. As we all know, over here in America we are watching the UNELECTED European Union carefully....


The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as 'Euro-English'.

In the first year, 's' will replace the soft 'c'. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard 'c' will be dropped in favour of 'k'. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome 'ph' will be replaced with 'f'. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent 'e' in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as
replasing 'th' with 'z' and 'w' with 'v'.

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords kontaining 'ou' and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

Amfortas notes....:

.... that despite ze zimplifikashunz zer vill be spesifik letter combinashunz zat are to be dizcoraged.

Ze peopl in Nottink Hill unt St Johannes Vood will not be permited to say, "Oy Vey".

Anivon herd uzink zese vill be reported to ze Zupervizor.

1:47 AM  

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