Nobody Knows What a Tickle Can Do

Nobody Knows exactly what happened to former Rep. Eric (Mr. Tickles) Massa, yesterday, when he went onto the Glenn Beck Program to repeat his testimony...the very damning testimony that he had been giving for days about how the President's 'thugs' were forcing him out...and how he knew the whole United States would go down with the passage of the health Care system, and how horribly corrupt the whole system was..

Everyone heard it. It was like a thunderbolt struck at the heart of the Godfather himself. (Remember, if you will, the scene of the Senate hearings in the movie.)

Oooooo--boy.

BUT...once in front of Glenn Beck, we saw...just what a man can do once he sees his brother...or maybe his lover...standing next to Barney Frank.

Glenn: So, what do you want to tell the public...go ahead.

Massa: I was just tickling ya! In fact, I apologize to Rahm Emanuel. He really loves his kids! I am guilty. God...I'm guilty of the crime of tickling. Look, I have cancer. It is my decision to resign and mine alone to step down. See this giant x-ray...why...I HAVE CANCER! We progressives (and everyone else) just have to stop this namecalling..like communists, and Mafia.

Look-- here are some proof pictures that Navy guys actually LOVE To have giggle parties ..all the Navy guys do this. But--- I shouldn't have told that guy that I'd rather %&*$ him...instead of that bridesmaid. And he attacked me because I'm old, you know, everyone picks on the old guys.
Glenn: So you're saying that the shower scene never happened?

Massa: NO...it happened, but it didn't bother me!...no...oh no. There is no such thing as Mafia...I was just kidding you see? Ahhhhhh...who told you that? I just made that up! Rahm does that all the time...everyone does it. Rahm is always going around in the showers and poking his fingers at everyone...he just does that...in fact, I heard that's how he lost that middle finger...you know...someone didn't take it so well...but, I just have to get out...with this cancer and all...I'm through with tickling.

Glenn: Is that your lover standing back there with your wife? Is that your brother? Have you been threatened in any way?

Massa: No...I've never seen that man before.

Glenn--- to audience: I have just wasted your time.

Massa: Hey, can I go now? Back to my cancer? You know, we all need to get out and vote...