Tuesday, April 06, 2010

Nobody's Perfect: Seeing Camels

Nobody's Perfect:
I thought, I'd pick on my imperfect self today, because this is what I see every time Obama comes on TV...which he does about every ten minutes. I think my eyes are going...it happens. In fact, I hear every time the HARP workers go on coffee break, the great magnetic force shield disappears and politician's eyes start rolling into lizards slits.
Some of us more...imaginative donkeys, see the REAL images behind the facade. Yes, this is a REAL picture of Obama, taken on the White House Lawn, on Easter Sunday.
No wonder he has trouble throwing a baseball.
Not only am I losing my eyesight, my memory for appointments is completely shattered. My tax account lady just called me, and asked me if I was going to show up at my appointment...
MY appointment?
"Did I call you and make an appointment?"
"Well, we made this LAST year when you left!"
Now...there you go. I should have remembered that simple fact, that tomorrow at exactly 11am, I was to show up and give my life's story to some stranger, in great fear that she would find out that I actually don't make any money as a writer (yet) ...and how I could forget, such an important event in my life, I have NO idea.
So, we are giving this week's Nobody's Perfect award to the most famous nobody I know...
But I won't leave you with such a boring post...no.
Here are a few quotes that I wish I had said, but of course, since I don't get paid to write, or come up with wonderfully clever things...here's a few perfect zingers from the past. Enjoy them while you can...due to the economy, future witty quotes will be hard to find.
Voters want a fraud they can believe in---Will Durst
A penny saved is a Congressional oversight.---Hal Lee Luyah
No more good must be attempted than the public can bear.---Thomas Jefferson
On that note...I will see you tomorrow!



Anonymous Anonymous said...

Amfortas hopes....:

.... you put tomorrow in your diary so you do not forget.

Now, to address the Problem du Jour... the Tax. I think it a 'good thing' you claim to be a writer as you can write off all of your year's expenditures against future income. Especially all those computer fixermen who's families you have been supporting.

If your tax agent doesn't write that in, tell her you will write it in yourself as proof of your bona fides as a writer.

Of course 'failing' to write the appointment down does provide some doubt about you being a writer. But I am sure your sparkling wit can help you overcome such unworthy doubts on the IRS's part.

You might even get a refund. If not politly suggest that Mr O'Camelface consider you a 'shovel-ready' project worthy of some 'stimulus'. Don't forget to claim for typing-finger protectors. A few minutes practice can help prove that you use all ten fingers. I can only ever get away with claiming for two.

10:22 PM  
Blogger dong dong said...

hollister uk sale
Michael Kors Handbags Clearance Outlet
Coach Luggage Bags Outlet Sale Online
toms outlet
michael kors outlet
jordan shoes
cheap ugg boots
Louis vuitton Official Website Outlet Online
Toms Outlet Store Online
michael kors outlet
true religion jeans
coach outlet
Louis Vuitton Online Shop Stores
canada goose jackets
coach factory outlet
Louis Vuitton Neverfull Tote Bag
coach outlet online
Gucci Outlet Store Locations
authentic louis vuitton handbags
michael kors outlet
canada goose jackets
abercrombie store
michael kors outlet
Louis Vuitton Outlet Mall Store
coach outlet online

6:52 PM  
Blogger xjd7410@gmail.com said...

toms shoes
oakley outlet
coach outlet
oakley sunglasses wholesale
michael kors outlet
adidas outlet store
adidas uk
coach outlet
gucci outlet
hollister outlet
gucci handbags
michael kors outlet clearance
ralph lauren
lebron shoes for kids
coach factory outlet
celine bags
michael kors outlet
timberland outlet
montblanc pens
kd 8 shoes
air force 1
louis vuitton purses
michael kors outlet clearance
polo ralph lauren
hermes bags
louis vuitton outlet
oakley sunglasses
timberland shoes

6:45 PM  
Blogger raybanoutlet001 said...

kobe shoes
links of london
michael kors handbags
kobe sneakers
air jordan shoes
michael kors uk
tiffany and co jewelry
christian louboutin outlet
yeezy boost
discount sunglasses
adidas yeezy boost
cheap tiffanys
michael kors outlet online
ray ban sunglasses outlet
nike air zoom structure 19
cheap air jordan
adidas stan smith

6:52 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

true religion jeans sale
nike trainers uk
ecco shoes outlet
louis vuitton sacs
nike free 5
ralph lauren outlet online
yeezy boost 350
abercrombie and fitch kids
moncler outlet
san francisco 49ers jerseys

7:49 PM  
Blogger adidas nmd said...

michael kors handbags
replica rolex
michael kors outlet
nike outlet
oakley sunglasses
texans jerseys
nike shoes
fitflops sale clearance
titans jersey
fitflops sale

7:30 PM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home