Tuesday, April 06, 2010

Nobody's Perfect: Seeing Camels


Nobody's Perfect:
I thought, I'd pick on my imperfect self today, because this is what I see every time Obama comes on TV...which he does about every ten minutes. I think my eyes are going...it happens. In fact, I hear every time the HARP workers go on coffee break, the great magnetic force shield disappears and politician's eyes start rolling into lizards slits.
Some of us more...imaginative donkeys, see the REAL images behind the facade. Yes, this is a REAL picture of Obama, taken on the White House Lawn, on Easter Sunday.
No wonder he has trouble throwing a baseball.
Not only am I losing my eyesight, my memory for appointments is completely shattered. My tax account lady just called me, and asked me if I was going to show up at my appointment...
MY appointment?
"Did I call you and make an appointment?"
"Well, we made this LAST year when you left!"
Now...there you go. I should have remembered that simple fact, that tomorrow at exactly 11am, I was to show up and give my life's story to some stranger, in great fear that she would find out that I actually don't make any money as a writer (yet) ...and how I could forget, such an important event in my life, I have NO idea.
So, we are giving this week's Nobody's Perfect award to the most famous nobody I know...
ME!
But I won't leave you with such a boring post...no.
Here are a few quotes that I wish I had said, but of course, since I don't get paid to write, or come up with wonderfully clever things...here's a few perfect zingers from the past. Enjoy them while you can...due to the economy, future witty quotes will be hard to find.
Voters want a fraud they can believe in---Will Durst
A penny saved is a Congressional oversight.---Hal Lee Luyah
No more good must be attempted than the public can bear.---Thomas Jefferson
On that note...I will see you tomorrow!

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6 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Amfortas hopes....:

.... you put tomorrow in your diary so you do not forget.

Now, to address the Problem du Jour... the Tax. I think it a 'good thing' you claim to be a writer as you can write off all of your year's expenditures against future income. Especially all those computer fixermen who's families you have been supporting.

If your tax agent doesn't write that in, tell her you will write it in yourself as proof of your bona fides as a writer.

Of course 'failing' to write the appointment down does provide some doubt about you being a writer. But I am sure your sparkling wit can help you overcome such unworthy doubts on the IRS's part.

You might even get a refund. If not politly suggest that Mr O'Camelface consider you a 'shovel-ready' project worthy of some 'stimulus'. Don't forget to claim for typing-finger protectors. A few minutes practice can help prove that you use all ten fingers. I can only ever get away with claiming for two.

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