Wednesday, May 05, 2010

Iceland...Saves the World.

Nobody Knows: Have you heard the good news? Global warming will no longer be a problem. Why is that, you say?
One word: Iceland.
According to the best environmental experts, (wackos and otherwise) a really big volcano eruption can send enough sulfur dioxide into the stratosphere to blanket the globe--- causing the earth to cool. In fact, this has happened several times in history.
For instance, here's a quote from SuperFreakonomics:
"The anthropologist Stanley Ambrose has argued that a super volcanic explosion at Lake Tabo on Sumatra, roughly seventy thousand years ago, blocked the sun so badly that it triggered an ice age that nearly wiped out Homo sapiens."
This was of course...way before Moses decided talk to bushes, and thank goodness!
If this is true...after this baby exploded, we now should all pray for global warming to appear again in our lifetimes. Get in your car...quick, and make that trip to the Grand Canyon. Eat another burger. Fry more bacon. Turn on all your lights. Leave your TV and computer on all night. Turn up your hot tubs...we all have to fight, now, while we can.
You might well ask---Does a volcano that shuts down all of Europe for a week count? Especially one with a name like Eyjafjallajokull? (Translation: Al Gore is a Ninny.)
Was that a big enough blast?
I think...just maybe! And frankly, after how much the globe suffered last winter with mountains upon everlasting mountains of snow everywhere...we could have done without it.
So...I suggest we make Al Gore send all his moonbat global carbon-credits to the good people of Iceland for saving the planet. the people had nothing to do with it. But hey...they just had one of the biggest volcano eruptions happen right over their head. They need help! You can't say any greedy politicians caused their economic was mother nature! Why does Haiti get everything? Where are Presidents Bush and Clinton? Are they too busy helping out those poor people in Tennessee?
They're not? Are you telling me Haiti is more important than those poor people of Iceland? I mean, that volcano just saved the planet! What did that earthquake do?
I think our politicians need to get their priorities straight.
So, the next time someone says the earth is warming...tell them, to go put some ice in whatever they are drinking, because...thanks to Iceland---The Earth has been saved.
Thank you Iceland...we owe you one. If I were you, I'd move...just not to Greece.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

Amfortas notes:

... that a President of a major nation recently claimed that earth quakes were caused by women exposing their curvy body bits, sans pasties. (Maybe Presidents should be like Queen Elizabeth and just thank everyone for coming, and otherwise shut the funk up).

The unpronouncable Volcano in Iceland was therefore clearly a response to Icelandic women disporting themselves in Strip Clubs. The farsighted Prime Minister (or President?) of Iceland, a woman with pursed lips and a strange name ending in 'dottir', recently tried to head off the eruptive disaster by banning lap dancing and strip clubs in that small, dreary island where they eat fine British cod. Men were outraged of course, especially as they were blamed, but women were outraged too as a large number of iceland's womenfolk seem to be employed taking their clothes off infront of strange men for money. No-one blamed them though.

After the ashes, I guess we can expect a sack-cloth disaster somewhere.

6:22 AM  

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