Monday, August 30, 2010

Nobody's Perfect; Paris VS Progris..."That's Not MINE!"


Nobody's Perfect:
Boy!..I'm going to need help this week...I can't decide which one of these two drug addicts should win the Nobody's Perfect prize for the last week of August.
It's going to be hard...
The first story you know...Paris "Want to be my best friend?" Hilton got busted last week in Las Vegas because her boyfriend's car had so much smoke coming out the windows, the police pulled them over because they thought the car was on fire.
Paris of course said, "That's not MY marijuana, that's my boyfriend's." and then she made that cute little sexy smile and said, "I have to go potty!" So they drove her to the Winn Hotel (It pays to be a Hilton.) and then some wise officer checked her purse which contained cocaine in it, but of course, that purse was not HERS...said Paris, but her girlfriends. But, "Oh excuse me officer, that IS my makeup and that wad of cash is mine too...but the purse is NOT MINE!"
As Obama loves to say: Let me be very clear. Rich women do NOT borrow purses. They are as much of their status as a diamond ring, and some of those purse actually cost more then gold. You'd have to pull it out of their dead cold hands.
And---As you can see by Paris's mug shot, she had no trouble finding that makeup of hers in that strange bag that wasn't hers...and apply some for her "shot." She...looks...fabulous.
The second story you may NOT know, because Elizabeth Athenia Progris is not a big somebody like Paris, she is by her own words, a dancer/housewife--- a nobody. And I should think by the looks of her hair, she has been dancing just a little too hard around the microwave.
Elizabeth was busted in Stuart, Florida, probably for having a bad hair day. She took a shower (I do NOT know why, she looks clean to me) but as she stepped out of the shower a bag of Xanax dropped from her "genitals."
And for two tablets of Xanax she will do fifty years, while Paris, who was reeking of grass and cocaine enough to float a small flotilla, will do two days of community service.
Which proves that between the two woman, Elizabeth may not be famous, but if Paris had been as smart, she would have hidden the cocaine in her "genitals" too, and saved herself a lot of trouble. She could have hidden that cocaine and even if the bag of cocaine had dropped out by mistake, she could have claimed the cocaine was not hers...her boyfriend must have put it there!
A statement that would have been believed by all. He would have served fifty years with Lizzy.
So, I suggest Paris...you need to do more housework. And Elizabeth...maybe you should switch to cocaine.
(Nobody likes to embellish facts...and who doesn't nowadays?)

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