: As If I didn't have enough
to due this week...the news that those cute and adorable perfectly matched Royals in England are going to give us all another thrilling spectacular wedding to take all our minds off our own miserable state of affairs, (How sweet of them.) has put another task on my plate of "Things to do before the holocaust."
And so, I have to somehow find time in my busy schedule to go and get them a wedding gift.
Well, here...I've decided to get them the perfect gift...a royal solid gold Kingly toilet throne for him...
And to match...a solid gold toilet cleaning brush for her!
(What do you think?) It's perfect!
Wait...What if they get this and have to take it back? What if someone ELSE gives them the very same thing?
Finance to the Future King: Oh dear , this is the third gold toilet and bowl cleaner set we've received. I was so hoping for an emerald one, or one done in titanium..it's so retro...we should return it and get something else dear...I could go shopping and find something for the baby.
Prince: Darling...Let's just give one to pops, and the other to my brother.
Fiance: Oh no...you're dad will just trade it in for cash and buy trees for his estates. Really, more trees means more bird poop on my new cars.
Prince; Mmmm..we COULD cash it out and give the money to the people...
Fiance: Oh love...please...you're starting to sound like your mother. Besides, one of the help is most likely to steal all three of those toilet bowl brushes...and just replace it with some plastic gold gaudy one...
Prince: You're right. Old granny was right. You're the perfect one for me, smoochy...(gives her a princly kiss.)
Finance: Now, about this ring....
On second thought: I think I'll look around.
(Note to readers: yes, those really are solid gold items)