Monday, December 13, 2010

Nobody's Perfect: Windfrey VS Goehner...Pass the Tissues!



Nobody's Perfect:
Oooo....boy. We have two good ones here: Oprah Windfrey and John Boehner were just two peas in weeping pods last week.
What's going on with all this weeping? Millions of Americans have lots to weep about: some lost jobs, some can't pay for medical procedures, some lost children in Iraq, some lost their homes...those are very good reasons to have a good cry: So, what are these two very FORTUNATE people crying about?
The American Dream VS Lesbianism.
First we had Oprah, "Bring me a tissue here!" Windfrey burst into emotional anger while talking to Barbara Walters.
Barbara Walters, probably said, "If you DON'T cry on my show, people will think I'm losing my touch."
Yes, Oprah got really upset when talking about her very best friend--- mother, guru, hair dresser, food carrier, dog walker, and who knows what else she does: Gayle King. When she started crying about her deep, deep love for this woman, Barbara said, "Why are you crying?"
You would have thought the woman had just died.
Her now-famous quote:
"I have said we are not gay enough times. I am not gay. I am not lesbian. I'm not even kind of a lesbian. And the reason why it irritates me is because somebody must think I'm lying. That's No. 1. No. 2, why would you want to hide it?"
(WHO thinks you're lying Oprah: Stedman?)
Okay...Question No. 3 comes from the Nobody audience who wants to say: Oprah dear: By being so upset that someone calls you a lesbian it can only mean that you can think of no other more horrible thing that you could be called in the world.
How do you think that makes all the gay people feel? You might as well call them dogs.
What...is being gay THAT bad? Even Rosie O'Donnell, had to come out and stand by Oprah side.
Yes, we have it from a REAL gay: She doesn't think Oprah is lying.
Mmmmm...pretty silly.
A real woman who was sure of her identify would have smiled and said, "Hey, my man knows I'm not gay...go ask him." But not Oprah.
Somehow the... "it's normal to be gay" just got a setback, but don't tell Oprah.
And then there's John-John Boehner, who cries so hard at the mere mention of the worlds "American Dream" that all Nancy Pelosi has to do on the floor of the House is say, "American Dream" in her speech about ten times, and the man would fall to the floor in utter despair and be carried to the nearest mental hospital.
Obvious, he is telling us the American Dream is gone.
Thanks, for uplifting us there John.
Just what we need. A House Speaker who feels so hopeless about the American dream, he cries at the sound of the phrase.
Great.
So, which one is worse? Oprah is doing a Diva moment.
John on the other hand..is suffering...he needs help.
But hey, they're not perfect: Let's just hope Oprah convinces her "somebody" that she is not gay, and John finds his comfort zone, outside the camera's of the world.
Having said that: I cry every time Dumbo's mother gets locked up in jail, and swings her little Dumbo in her trunk while she is behind bars, and that "sweet little baby of mine" song comes on..and...oh god...oh no...here it comes...
Where's my tissue!

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2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Amfortas says:

We have just been treated to the torture of Oprah. She has been here in Oz for a few days (still here right now) along with 200 odd strange, hysterical people who seem to be her travelling audience. Talk about Insurance. Bring your own audience in case those Aussies don't show up. They (her trained seals) scream at the slightest cue.

What a palava. Apparantly she 'Loves' us. (Screams). She has said so about 4000 times on every damned news program. We are the very best people In. the. World. (Screams). She even had Gloriana Julia standing beside her in Melbourne. (Boos). Lord knows what for but it backfired for both of them.

A highlight occured early on. She was on Hamilton Island off the Qld coast looking at 'ozzie wildlife'. Koalas. One happy little bear had a romantic moment with another right before her shocked eyes and the cameras, and we were treated to Oprah demanding 'where was the consent?'

Damnable Aussie males. Rapists, the lot of them. But she loves us.

5:09 PM  
Blogger Joyanna Adams said...

She loves you? What was the real purpose of that trip?

Just wait, she will be on your new nighttime programing.

I'd watch the Koalas.

Funny Amfortas!

8:06 PM  

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