Humpty Dumpty, Beheaded

Nobody’s Opinion: Last Saturday, my husband flipped out. I’m not sure what caused this breakdown. I should have known it was coming Friday night, when he ate a whole pan of Sara Lee Cherry Cheesecake after dinner.

It could have been the elections, but he really doesn’t pay much attention to these things. Maybe it was the full moon, or the change in temperature. Maybe he’s going through male menopause. Maybe he heard some news of his first wife at work. I don’t know.

All I know is Saturday, at exactly 12.22 p.m.; he came in the door, and threw down about 20 gallons of paint and said, “I’ve invited some of the guys and their wives to come over for the holidays, so I’m going to paint the house.”

Oh.

Nothing like deciding to tell me about it.

Now, he’ll do all the painting. He’s a great painter. But, it’s up to me to do take everything down and put it all back together. And every one who is anyone knows that the week before Thanksgiving you have ENOUGH to do besides “Oh…by the way, let’s paint the house.”

So I am being very kind…I am not going to lose it…BUT, I AM HAVING VISIONS OF KINGS BEING BEHEADED!

Which brings me to realize that since the elections, just about everything is absurd…so why shouldn’t my personal life be?

Somewhere, there’s been a big rip in the space-time continuum…because, I saw Michael J. Fox today on TV in New York, and he did not shake once.

I’m actually watching the six STAR WARS again…where is MY force?

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By now, you have heard that for the first time in its history, one of Madame Trousseau’s very expensive wax figures was beheaded by some lady in Las Vegas that decided her last name was Cromwell.

And because I intend to show you how far ahead I was of anyone on this, the very wax figure that was destroyed by this lady who no one has seen is shown above.

Yep, that’s me, a nobody, in front of the Presidential podium last September when poor Mr. President was fully intact and looking so very much handsomer than his real self.

At this very moment the REAL President Bush is being symbolically beheaded in Washington D.C. by 42 or more “experts” on the Iraq war. Nancy Pelosi, and probably his mother, the three heads of American’s Auto Companies are taking turns at chopping him up.

Ahmadinejad just gets sloppy seconds.

He is currently walking around with a Bobble head, no doubt made by Madame Trousseau.

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Kings have been beheaded before in history. The most famous being Oliver Cromwell, who just got sick and tired of Charles I, and had him beheaded.

I know this fact very well because my college Western Civilization Professor, Dr. Charles P. Korr, wrote his college thesis on this very matter, therefore making his freshman class read no less than twenty books on the subject…which they really didn’t have to do…only if they wanted to pass his class.

Of course, the monarchy came back, as monarchies tend to do. I mean, what good did it do? Now they have a Queen, who doesn’t even have to do anything but wave.

We’ll be lucky if our Queen doesn’t vaccine us all to death.

So, even if the symbolic beheading of President is occurring, rest assured, the Kingship of the office of the Presidency and the great ruling elite Lords of Congress will not give into “rule by the people. For the people...” so it’s of no matter at this moment.

Unless, of course we all die.

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Last weekend, I don’t know if anybody else noticed but me, I was LISTENING to C-span because I really couldn’t watch it due to the fact that I was cleaning paint off the lamps and floor…but every single program sounded like every anti-war person who had ever lived was giving terrible reasons why the war in Iraq should be stopped.

And then, this lady said the most incredibly absurd thing. In fact, she is probably in Washington right this very moment repeating this story to Laura Bush.

She told a story, sitting like a queen story teller in her chair---told to her by a soldier.

You see, this soldier had to go out into the street and pick up his captain’s helmet. He had been blow apart and the only thing remaining was his helmet.

Inside his helmet and just around the area, were bits and pieces of his brain. So, the soldier, trying to be thoughtful…he didn’t want the other guys in the outfit to see their officer’s gushy brains, decided to pick them up, put them in the helmet, and quickly take them away.

Now, as he was walking away with his Captains’ brains in the helmet, all the Iraq people around him began to laugh at him, and then they would point at the helmet and laugh.

And this soldier told this Intellectual lady professor, most high elite prissy rich person, that from that moment on, he hated all Iraq’s.

Now…here’s the point you may not believe. Because when I heard it, I just about dropped my dustbin.

She said she didn’t know why the Iraq’s laughed, (as if it was a perfectly innocent thing to do) but she thought it was a terrible thing for that young soldier to hate all Iraq’s because of that one incident.

Maybe she was a descendent f Mare Antoinette.

I guess she never saw the beheadings in Saddam’s favorite videos.

And these are the idiots that have now taken over.

The French Revolution is starting to look reasonable.

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Nobody’s Perfect; I have NO idea how other woman do it. I was originally planning on cleaning my whole house (and junk room) a little each day. With all the “junk” in my house, it would have taken me until at least 2012.

Now, I have less than a week. Not to mention I wasn’t planning on raking any leaves this year. (I have eight big trees.) But, you can’t see the lawn, or the roof…and these friends of my husband will not be able to find the sidewalk to the house, or even the house, because it will be buried…under some very pretty orange and yellow foliage.

And if you had seen my house, is an improvement.

I’m seriously thinking about just leaving.

Nobody Knows; I am from a very small family. In fact, I usually put up the tree, the outside lights, the inside decorations, all by myself.

AND THAT is the reason why, I don’t cook. I’m not even Mexican.

Nobody Cares; Anyway, that’s the reason I haven’t blogged in a few days. And if I miss a few here or there…send HELP or all the King’s horses, and all the King’s men.