To Be Or Not To Be:2003-2006

Nobody’s Opinion; Tonight I went to a “lecture” by Ridley Pearson, who is an first rate, top-notch, American Writer. I was so moved by his profound performance, which is really the only way to describe it, that I’m too deep in thought to write…okay…tell me you know what I’m talking about.

(All the guys are going…it’s about time Joyanna that you thought!)

I will need at least a day to digest it all. Which means I might even go out and look at the moon, or read the Thomas Register tonight for a couple of hours.

Anyway, my mind still being in Thailand.(You’d have to have been there.) I wanted to put something up---so after reading and looking through the other columnists on MND, I pulled up a piece I wrote in October of 2003…it’s about baseball, euthanasia, suicide, and the…what I felt to be, coming destruction of American sovereignty.

After having read it again a few minutes ago…I do not see anything to change. (Now that’s a lie, it’s just that like I said, my mind is in Ridley Pearson’s lecture.) BUT…everything has turned out to be exactly what I saw coming, so it should seem current, barring the World Series with the Cubs.

A few notes; In October of 2003, we had a nest of rats in our backyard…and because my husband was working, it was up to me to kill them. I proudly killed nineteen in all, with poison, but killing the mother was a scene right out of a Ted Bundy movie…in which I had to base her head in with a shovel about 40 times.

All the while both of us screaming! She had a body about the size of Bill Clinton’s head. (And if you’ve ever seen Bill Clinton, you know that’s pretty big.)

Yes….now you know. I am a serial rat killer, and being a female with no proclivity to killing anything in her life…very proud of it. Even thought at the time, I felt VERY guilty.

It’s not that I don’t like rats--- just not in my yard.

Anyway, I had just killed momma rat the day I wrote this. I tell you this in order that you understand the perhaps somewhat traumatized mindset that a nobody can get into after having never killed anything in your life, to find out suddenly, you’re at war with rodents.


So here, are my random thoughts on what Shakespeare might think about baseball, what a country does when it’s being destroyed, and why Nostradamus predicted the end of the world when the Cubs won the World Series. All non-important facts, but then again, so was today’s National news.
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To be Or Not to Be
While spinning around on our little seemingly insignificant planet, feeling rather insignificant myself as can happen when October comes and all the leaves fall and the trees seem to go dead and I can do nothing about the gloomy weather or the fact that my colorful trees will soon look as dead as the dead rat I picked up in my driveway yesterday, I decided to watch and wonder, along with everyone else in America, the question of whether the Cubs could actually go to the World Series. Watching Sammy Sousa get struck out by intelligent and skilled pitching, downing the last hopes of the famous slugger to rouse his team back to a comeback in the last innings, and watching the camera man show over and over again the grief of a lone middle-aged woman with a white Cubs hat on her head cry with heart-breaking sorrow over the loss of her hopes, I was feeling a conspiracy of death coming on. Gloom and doom. I was tired of running the bases myself and never getting home.

Maybe my dyspepsia was caused by the sheer boredom of running out of conspiracies to think about, such as; are the rats being introduced into our neighborhoods as a government conspiracy in prelude of the coming plagues, in order to get rid of all us baby boomers who will break the Medicare system if we really do age? It would be a good way for them to get rid of a whole generation of old hippies who will be having heart attacks and strokes, leaving themselves living burdens to society, therefore not having “meaningful purpose” to their colorless lives and less able to deliver to the state meaningful work to tax.

I could just picture the ACLU and the AARP commercials begging for the right to die (or kill off) the millions of baby boomers who are the last bastion of any right-wing conspiracy, since the younger generations have been more successfully doctrinised with the left’s vision of our future as death by yourself or your doctors as a most compassionate way to go.

“Comrade here, I feel your pain. Take this; soon it will be all over.”

This lovely sentiment is now being practiced at every medical school for the future doctors of tomorrow’s overfilled hospitals and nursing homes.

Or why not just line up us old geezers at the plate, and let some practicing pitchers throw the old knuckle ball to the head, much like the one that put the metal into Don Zimmer’s cranium so long ago? Why give more money to the pharmaceutical companies? If that had happened to “Popeye” today, Joe Torre would not have his favorite mentor, and the Yankees, despite their large salaries, might not have any more hope for future wins. In Baseball, as in life, as we are seeing in the World Series, the game can go on something very little. After all, Joe Torre didn’t have much of a record in St. Louis.

But my conspiracy was evaporating because I must admit; I deposit a fifty pound bag of sunflower seeds out every week for every squirrel, mouse, mole, vole, bird, raccoon, and RAT within ten miles to feast. No denying, I was feeling worse than as bowl of soggy Cheerios or a pitcher that walks the lead-off run in the ninth in a tied game.

I couldn’t get that lady off my mind…wiping away the tears off her exhausted face. She was probably thinking like everyone else, so many years to wait for the chance. What if that fan had just left that ball alone…who was that young fish pitching? Those damn Yankees.

Baseball isn’t supposed to be like life, our hero’s are suppose to win, unlike us. If something gets thrown in their way, we expect them to shrug it off and go on to victory. It’s not supposed to bother them, and when it does…sometimes it’s too much to bear.

This wasn’t the first time this has happened in baseball. In fact it’s quite common. I’m sure a real baseball historian, given a few beers, could recall more than you’d care to hear, reciting all the missed opportunities or freak situations that never should have happened. Yes, baseball is sometimes too much like life.

We baseball fans here in the Midwest remember a play in the 1985 World Series when the St. Louis Cardinals played the Kansas City Royals in Kauffman Stadium. When an umpire made a lousy call at first against the Cards in game six, the whole team fell apart, completely. Toilets and bats were broken in the clubhouse. The fate of the series was decided by that one call. Psychologically, it was over. A whole season of work was thrown down the drain with one mistake.

Life’s major events for good or bad, can rest on such as these; a call not made, a word not said, a bad day, a flat tire, a wrong diagnosis, an hour too late, a dollar too short. Even heroes think that life is too unfair when the whole world finds out you can’t control your hunger for a variety of the opposite sex, even if you are married. (As in Kobe Bryant) Or your trusted housekeeper decides to record every pill you take and report it to the world. (As in Rush Limbaugh) One wonders when she had time to clean house.

Still, in the scheme of things, like life and death, I was wondering why in the world someone would get so upset abut a baseball game.

Thinking upon it, I realized that I had been there. I know that displaced grief, the grief that you cannot show in you real life, when the whole world seems to make no sense at all. Every day you feel burdened with stress so enormous, the only relief comes in the form of chocolate, coffee, alcohol, video games, movies, or shopping sprees topped off with a little ephedrine or whatever diet pill you feel might work.

Stress, from trying to go for the American dream…while your parents are dying, your credit cards are growing legs, your children can’t write their own names (something they have in common with most college graduates), your job might end up in India, and your elected officials act like they are on a bad acid trip.

Drugs are the norm, porn is the norm (just ask George Clooney) being gay is the norm, rape is the norm, atheistic proclivities are the norm, and propaganda has been such a norm for so long, we are beginning to think that yes, George Washington was a terrible scoundrel and Thomas Edison did not even exist. We have been “normed-ed down” to a slow tear, and if we keep this up, to be or not to be will not be just some soliloquy in a Mel Gibson movie.

While watching your meager pensions shrink and your stomach grow over your pants, you start wishing you could even afford to buy stock to lose. Of course you must not show you children, your co-workers, your spouse, your parents, or your neighbors the sometimes very hopelessness of your dreams that you never talk about (and that includes not only your own, but the state of the country) but you can certainly cry when your team loses. It’s ok. Go ahead---get good and soused as my mother would say. Damn those Yankees.

If you have had the pleasure to meet a die hard Cub fan, you know that they are like no other. The tough guys from the Bronx don’t even come close to a Cubbie fan’s tenacity for hope, which is beyond all sense or reasoning. Just fly over the desolating, gray boxes on your way to O’Hare and you would swear looking down that Upton Sinclair’s jungles of despair is still there, trooping through the dirty mud. You see them at Wrigley field, past the shops of Michigan Avenue, cursing with gusto and vitality any man or woman who dare attack their beloved players. Hope is a must in Chicago for the poor. If you don’t have it, find someplace else to live.

Before the game, I was watching some commentary from one of the national stations, and they were pointing out the fact, with humor of course, that Nostradamus had predicted that when the Red Socks met the Cubs in a World Series, Armageddon would come crashing down on us within days. If this was the case, we should all bless the man who disrupted the catch in the 6th game of the playoffs… the guy that every man, woman and child in Chicago wanted to kill, because he alone has probably saved all of humanity from the infamous judgment day.

Now, where is that lady? Let’s send her a telegram and explain that it was a divine intervention. That one Cub fan actually saved us all from nuclear holocaust.

Then spring rolls around, and to the die-hard baseball fan, it’s another season for hope and an escape from the hardships and reality of life that you seen to have no control over although all the famous 1% of the wealthy keep your dreams alive by telling you that you too in this land of opportunity can become rich, as they did. You too can be a Yankee. What they don’t tell you is that this land of opportunity is just not the same land of opportunity that they know. As O’Reilly has pointed out, we do have a very distinct class system in America. Most of us are the Cubs. In fact, I think it’s time we were all color-coated.

They bombard us with endless commercials of expensive things and get mad when we become unhappy campers when we can’t afford to buy them. It’s like telling a woman, yes; you too can hit a home run like Giambini. The World Bank wants you to drag out those cards. And we’d like your home too.

And as if that is not enough, most people know that the average citizen has absolutely no power at all over the terrible public education system. Then there is the ridiculous taxing of every single thing we buy, eat, look at, or use, which we also feel powerless to fight, because if they cut taxes one place, they just stick it to you somewhere else.

Do something about it, you say? Right, we’ll all go out with our $12,000 debt and get in the race to try and change things. Only the rich can run for our elected leaders. They spent a million dollars a day to run for governor in California. Put that in Hamlet’s soliloquy and smoke it. In fact, Hamlet would have skipped the long speech and just got down on his sword if he had to listen to all the crap we hear from politicians every day: blaming each other for every thing under the sun, fighting like Cain and Abel, taking more of our lives, our freedoms, and filling us with fear and little hope for our future… or our children’s future.

And now, diversity is being stuff down everyone’s throat. Somewhere in time our government, at least the Democratic Party, decided the United States should end and merge quietly into a one world government world. They have basically not been shy about this. I don’t remember them asking if that’s what we wanted…do you? To be or not to be is the question now.

We are being warned by the ones who actually have read what really happened in history that we are on our last leg. Jefferson’s 200 years have past, the leaves are falling, one by one, and it seems only the Yankees will survive.

The United States is being compared to the Roman Empire. That great historian Ben Affleck just told us we are doomed, but being the uneducated movie star that he is, he got the reason wrong. So, let us compare.

Just before the downfall of Rome her borders were infiltrated with immigrants. We’ve got the Mexicans, the Asians, the Cubans, the Indians, and the terrorists. The rich of Rome became so addicted to China’s lovely silk that they sent all their gold over there and busted their economy. (Think Wal-Mart, IBM, Toyota, Nintendo, Sony...) Morality and violence became the “norm.” They had to entertain the masses of course, and because so many animals were slaughtered at the Coliseum, almost wiping out the tigers, they needed to punch it up, so why not slaughter people? What a show!! (Think Kill Bill)

Disney now knows the future is not with the baby boomers so they hired an adolescent mind to make the future family films. Let’s make killing fun!! Won’t be long before the baby boomers need to be eliminated to make way for the new generations! If we keep going at this pace, we will see gladiator fights in-between innings at Yankee Stadium.

“And for your seventh inning stretch, ladies and gentlemen, the fight tonight will feature that notorious terrorist bin Laden, against the most popular illegal immigrant…Jose Cuevo!” (I’m betting on Jose)

After that, powerful Rome was doomed, and the dark ages took over. (Are you listening Ben?) Then came Columbus, who (and this was left out of the history books) was trying to find a better route to China because the Muslims would behead anyone who took the old direct route. This goes to show you, the hatred between the West and the East has been going on for quite some time. To put it simply, back then it was whose God will you die for?

If the Muslims hadn’t have been such ruthless killers (not much has changed) with such hatred for the West, Columbus would have never gone the other direction and all of history would have changed. Who knows when America would have been settled and by whom? Sometimes villains with their hatred do good deeds despite themselves.

Of course they didn’t have the internet porn sites back then, but Rome did have about 800 bath houses and we all know what happened in the bath houses of San Francisco.

BUT THEN---like an unexpected Christmas gift from that neighbor who always complains about your dog, in the middle of my morbid thoughts about baseball, rats, politicians, life…came a feeling that just seems to bubble up out of nowhere…

HOPE: That wonderful warm and funny human feeling that keeps us all going, reminding me that sometimes the underdogs do win, as in the Revolution of 1776. Sometimes there a grand slam in the ninth.

The great thing about America is that the melting pot at one time did work, before FDR made the government into the huge FUBAR that it is today, inventing all those huge governmental offices. Great things happened for the whole world. Electricity, planes, vaccines, literature, music, sewage systems, engineering feats, rockets, computers, movies, cars, medical advances, railroads, telephone, internet, (etc, etc.) and enough food to feed the world.

In fact, we have given so much more to the world than we have gotten back that you better believe America will be sorely missed. If the Democratic Party keeps us divided, destroying America’s soul, and we are unable to compete at the top anymore, we will go down in the ninth and the whole world loses. The baseball commissioner’s children will not have anywhere to drive their Ferraris because there will be no roads that are safe.

To be or not to be. The American founding fathers tried so hard through their letters to tell future generations about the wisdom of fighting for your own sovereignty. That yes, morality, integrity, honesty, and service to your fellow man will make a good person, and good people make a good country. The problem is they have kept these letters out of our schools.

They want to get rid of those other words of wisdom too, the Ten Commandants. Even if you don’t think Moses got those Ten Commandments from God, the Jews really did give us a hell of a way to control a crowd, and make them work together for a common good. Brilliant laws. The basic rules of society…and they work. Now they want to tear them down, and the Jews along with them. And throw in the Christians too while you’re at it. Hell, why don’t we just put them all on the stage in Las Vegas with some tigers?

Scene at the Las Vegas Hilton:

Bill Clinton is talking to Ted Kennedy who is sitting next to him in the front row. Five Jews and Five Christians have been put on stage with one very hungry tiger.

“Hee, hey Ted…did you know that most people think that when you go thumbs up it means victory? When it really meant ’kill the guy?’’ Everyone has got it backwards…just like they did when they thought that I had sex with Monica, when I held my finger up and said “I did not have sex with that woman.” When you hold your finger up as I did, it means the opposite, so I really did tell the truth.” Bill turns around and winks at a young blond in a low cut dress. (Could be Mark Rich’s girlfriend}

On stage five Christians save a Jew from being dragged off by a very hungry tiger, by hitting it viciously with a huge silver cross.

“That tiger was just protecting that man, couldn’t you see that?! What is this country coming too?” said Ted as he looks over for the waitress to bring the bill. “Where is Arnold when you need him?”

Hey…when you’re in the middle of a soliloquy, you need a little comic relief.

I don’t know about you, but when Bill Clinton said that the United States will someday not be the top dog, and we better get ready for it, I was thinking of some choice fantasy gladiator moments myself…a tiger to the throat? Na. How about putting him off on an island somewhere, with no possibility of escape, surrounded by die-hard conservative Republican, with no television cameras, no microphones, no secret service and no females? …or how about, putting him in a reality version of “Kill Bill”? Or if that’s not possible…a Roger Clemens fastball to ol’ slugger Bill at the plate. Oops ….too high.

It’s just like Bill to take away the hopes of America. Hope is just as essential to life as life itself. Life needs hope. Humans need hope. Hope to attain what all they were meant to be. Hope for a real life, where we have some control over our own lives, and our children’s lives. Huge welfare governments cannot take care of whole populations, without tyranny. Huge corporations, although they might get richer, leave a world which will eventually lose courage, and no ruler will be able to save us. The game will be over.

This is just where the Democratic Party has got it all wrong. They want to change the rules of the game, or have no rules. They don’t want anyone’s team to win. They do not even want America to have a turn at bat.

If we go under the United Nations and give all our sovereignty to others, commit ourselves to World socialism/fascism/communism/---The Untied States will no longer be able to help the rest of the world like we have been doing. Not only will we go down, but the rest of the planet will too. Only in freedom can new innovations and technology survive in order to save ourselves from the mess we make. And there are not too many ballgames of freedom going on around the planet at the moment.

America is now at the fork in the road, to be…or not to be. Its people must decide whether Shakespeare’s ponderings of the human longing for a better life is worth fighting for. We must decide to win the game.

We must have hope.

Because a country without hope…produces people without hope.

While the play-off games were being played in New York, a man ran a boat into a dock and killed ten people. A horrible accident which he felt so bad about he tried to end his life. A man with no hope.

Suicide is listed as the third cause of death among our teenagers. Within days, three college students dove off of buildings in New York, no doubt realizing too late that their education in the public schools had failed them. We are shown the anger of the boys at Columbine…who were going to classes on the new politically correct message of death, which is; You have the right to end your own life, and if you take a few others with you, we understand.

With life and death becoming a relative subject being discussed by the ruling elite, we now have some doctors, like some judges, wanting to play God; deciding what lives have purpose and what lives do not, as in the recent case of Terri Schiavo. Deciding in what degree others should be given freedom, and who shall have freedoms taken away, as in affirmative action. In this new ballgame, the umpires will be state appointed lifetime judges who will rule for the elite, by the elite. The strike zone narrowed so much that very few will get on base.

The fashionable propaganda in the medical community now sees anyone without a “purpose to life” as meaningless, and therefore is worthy to die. They think “To be or not to be” is an easily answerable question. They really believe that they are doing all these sick people a favor by ending their lives with so much nobility, with the slogan. “They shoot horses don’t they?” as a proper reason to end a life.



Animals are one thing…people, well damn it, there are just too many of them…and too many people make too many cars, which pollute the planet. It’s an endless problem for them. And it becomes a bigger problem when another President, whom they hate, send to war young men to liberate a country in the name of freedom and dare I say it again? That dirty thought…American Sovereignty. And since they can’t control our President, they appoint judges with the same death control ideology. Many were carefully placed by our last administration in all the right places. We are seeing this happen in Florida.

Most of us have seen the picture of that young woman, Terri Schiavo, smile. Well, when you see her smile at her mother, that should do it right there. Who has the right to take even that moment away from her? To Terri Schiavo, a visit from her mother is probably like being adored by all the fans at Yankee stadium. To hear the twisted thinking of the lefts’ realization of why this girl should not live another day is much harder to bear than the thought of the Cubs never ever making it to another playoff. We are witnessing the mouth of insanity, staring down the monster’s throat. And seeing the birth pangs of a New World Order, much like Hitlers’ death camps for the disabled.

I’ve been on those liberal medical playing fields. My own mother was talking to me after a major stroke, and my husband and I had to fight the whole hospital which wanted to cut her off life support. They said she was brain dead. We said...well, do people say things like “I’m embarrassed.” (Having people come in a remove her clothes) or “Why are they doing this to me?”

“That’s just a reaction.” we were told by three top neurologists. “She is brain dead. Why would you want to take care of someone like that?” Of course she was talking to the staff, but that didn’t count.

When I began to hear everyone say that she had such a wonderful heart for her age, and reading in the local papers how all the top neurologists at the hospital were threatening to quit due to their poor salaries, I began to wonder if maybe since she had such a pretty heart---perhaps they had something else in mind. Follow the money. There is much to be made in transplants.

Unfortunately, I can’t dismiss this conspiracy thought, I’m trying, but it’s starting to sound like a whole culture of leftist “do gooders” are thinking that all useless old people would be better off dead. What are the Democrats going to do when it’s their turn? What if they can’t talk to the doctors due to a stroke? And they’ve signed the papers…but are still thinking…OH NO!!! I really don’t’ want to die!!…have they thought of that yet?

Despite my mother’s dire case, paralyzed and unable to talk, I knew and she let me know, that she wanted to live every minute even if in pain, and I was determined to do everything to let her do so. But, I was branded as “selfish” for keeping her alive, by my own family members and the whole hospital and its staff.

No, my mother was going to live every second of her pain filled existence if that’s what she wanted, damn the whole world and what it thought of me. I figured it was her right. I admired her courage. And luckily I had the time to help her, fighting the whole medical establishment every day. Sure, some days she felt like dying, but I knew that what she didn’t really want to die, she just wanted to escape the pain.

That’s mainly what happens in suicide mostly that the pain is so great you just want to end it all. A broken bone you could handle, but a broken mind with no hope is hard to bear. That’s when love must come in to carry the burden. The team comes out to the mound. You step up to the plate. To be a compassionate society, others must carry the burden. Forget that fan that caught the ball, you can do it. Keep pitching. Throw strikes. You can win. Don’t lose hope!

The American public came to Terri’s rescue. Believe it. But let’s not forget we had some good coaches, and when the team of America comes to bat, there is no one that can beat us. Because we still have some freedom, and freedom gives hope. And that’s the secret to all sports, all lives, and all countries. Hope…

That’s been the purpose of religion for so long. It gives so many tear-stained hearts hope. Hope that there is something or someone who is on our side. To take hope away is more than cruel. And the reason to take it away is for control. Marx thought religion was good for the masses. It helped them deal with their slavery lot in life he said. But, you didn’t see any communist country anywhere take his advice did you? Nope… religion gives you the advantage of two or three home run sluggers on the team.

It’s easy to find suicide victims in the Muslims countries, where freedom means not having your hand cut off…where hopelessness is so normal that a trip into a World Trade Center sounds like a trip to Disneyland.

The Muslims have a lot of sluggers on their team because they understand the psychological power of religion, and how to use it to control the people. This makes them a very dangerous opponent.

That is one of the reasons the United States has been so successful, we have always been a fairly religious country, until the 1960’s. We won the first two World Wars, and then we lost Vietnam. Most of our young people were too stoned. Religion was a trip on the cultural roller coaster, and while our government was failing us, the left moved in. My generation has been lost ever since.

Now it’s whose God do you want to kill?

Our loss of faith has been reflected in the way we treat our older people. Millions of old people rot in nursing homes and hospitals, because of the need of the two family paycheck. Many baby boomers are so completely stressed out with trying to keep up with some sort of middle-class existence, and some are secretly hoping their sick parents will die sooner rather than later because it is just too much trouble for them to take care of them, and to watch whatever money their parents had saved go to paying for medical expenses. Their own lives are already full. Like a favorite pet we put to sleep, we rationalize that we are showing mercy, because we just do not have the time to take care of them.

With the government welfare rolls now supplying us with millions of young Spanish mouths to feed, if looked at from a national survival scenario, perhaps they think the simplest thing to do is just get rid of us. And if that means the “humane” pulling of all our feeding tubes, so be it. It’s our “right to die” they will say. Forget all the new medical wonders and medicines…that’s a double edged sword. We must save Africa, and the rest of the world, but damn our old, our sick, our feeble, and damn those Yankees. Look out for the big, ugly, rats.

So, tonight I will anticipate the last two games of the world Series, with all the rest of the country, wondering if the game of baseball will survive, hoping that poor lady in the white hat feels better, wondering…if the Yankees are going to win yet another series. I will be looking for tears, and I will be rooting for a good fight at least. Tonight “to be or not to be” will not be on my mind, except to wonder what Shakespeare would have thought of baseball. And in between innings, I’ll be thinking about just what kind of rat poison will immobilize my big rats. Don’t worry. I’m being very democratic about it.