Sunday, March 25, 2007

Laura Bush, Come Back.

Nobody's Flashing: Today, this picture was released of our President being seen with a strange woman who is standing in for the first lady, Laura Bush.

You can tell from the look on his face that he is wondering if anyone suspects the switch.

Laura was reported last seen in Las Vegas, playing the tables at The Mirage. She once told Jay Leno "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas." Proving that she knew the city well.

Being as this is not good for the President, it was decided to give Laura a break and find a look-a-like.

The young guard at her side, is bound and determined to keep the secret, but he really misses Laura, who used to let him come into the White House kitchen and eat chocolate-chip cookies.

As you can see, this woman is at least 40 pounds thinner than the real lady. Her nose is just a little bigger. Also, notice how very friendly her hand wave is, not at all like the real lady who always waves in a very low...hip wave. This woman is an impostor.

So, where is the first lady? If you are reading the tabloids, Laura Bush has been mad at the President for months. He accordingly had an affair with Condi, ignored her as she was going through cancer treatments, and rumors has it, he has been drinking again.

They even had a big fight and he went to Camp David all by himself! There might be a divorce.

Once again, the taxpayers money is not only going to be spent on spinach, Nancy's big Plane, Bill Clinton's body guards, and Ted Kennedy's lunches (enough money alone to build a wall on the whole border) we are paying for a stand in for the first lady.

Frankly, I think Laura deserves a break. Probably, like the rest of us, she is tired of her husband not standing up for himself. And she probably knows what's REALLY going on with all this Iraq stuff.

She also is afraid that she will take the stand and say what she REALLY thinks of most of the people who do nothing but use "let's attack the President" as a way to not get a thing done, and to set themselves up for power.

So Laura, hurry back soon. Lot's of people will be fooled by this lady, whoever she is, but Barney is not going to like her. And Barney is the most trusted soul right now in the White House.

Nobody Knows: Yes, I made this all up...Laura is really a Democratic spy for Hillary Clinton.

That's how come our President keeps making political "mistakes." She is advising him, on advise from Hillary. She is also drugging him on Sundays, and at press conferences.

Nobody Cares; Okay, I made THAT up. We all he would listen to her advice. My advice is that they would do well to let Laura make some appearances, even if it's to tell us she loves to cook, and only goes to Vegas with her daugters. This "Liddy hunt" is getting old.



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