Friday, May 25, 2007

Nobody's Absurdities, No. 44--How Many Mexicans Does It Take To Screw A Country?


Nobody’s Absurdities, No. 44…How Many Mexicans Does It Take to Screw a Country?

Presidential Answer: As many as we can take.

Just ask our President. These two fine hard working “gardeners” are fine examples of how even billions of hard earned American tax dollars given to educate the Mexicans will probably not be enough.

I must agree with the President. You would NOT find an American willing to do this, because, unlike the illegal immigrants, the risk is too great--- we would have big medical bills if something happened to us.

Today in the Rose Garden, our President made a strong speech in support of joining Mexico with America. Like in the Orwell novel, 1984, according to him, black was white, and amnesty really wasn’t amnesty.

And when a bird dropped a big present on him in the garden, the news was put out that, yes--- when this has happened before to other Presidents it was considered a GOOD sign.

Funny---when that happens to anyone else, it’s usually a sign the day is starting off bad.

They really ARE getting desperate.

Due to the fact that millions of people are flooding the Congress with protests against the downfall of our nation, someone somewhere in the New York Times, decided the BEST thing to do was to put out the results of a poll.

Remember polls? The new way to tell you how to think? Why, the America people according to this poll were all for the Mexicans coming in, and basically being the slaves of the 21st century.

According to this “ABC poll.”

To put even more punch into the “message” of why we must give at least half of America back to Mexico, Chertoff, Bush’s National Security Comrade said, “People will be seeing teary-eyed children when parents are going to be deported.”

While all of us are wondering why in the world any parent in their right mind would go off and just leave their kids standing in another country, we forget that there plenty of Mexican extending family members already here to take care of them.

Hillary will make sure they get into state-sponsored schools, or go to the many Mexicans consultants in every city and get their ID cards, passports, bank accounts, and free passes to see Zorro. Besides, visits will be easy with the new superhighway coming. Plenty of room in the Mexican trucks.

And---just in case those trucks are filled with “bombs” the President has given himself an executive order (On May 7)that in a national emergency he can take control and become a dictator.

He could mandate vaccines, all guns to be confiscated, and all white people to open up their homes to Mexicans. All black people to open up their homes to gays, and Bill Clinton and his father to get along…

Wait…that happened already.

He could even order that all women get that vaccine for their cervical vagina protection...

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And SPEAKING of vagina’s, as if cutting boobs up and stuffing them with plastic wasn’t enough, a new fade has hit the Western world called…designer vaginas.

We weren’t going to let the Arabs cut their women’s clitorises and get one over on OUR women, now were we?

According to most of the world, Angelina Jolie already has one. And I’m sure that Jane Fonda will be next.

This surgery is where they cut the shape of the outer lips (or labia) and they can shorten the vagina itself. The reason, it is said, is so they can get their “vulvas” to be flat with no protrusion and look like six-year-olds. Never mind that this will pretty much reduce any sort of 72 orgasms that some women can have in an hour. This number will be reduced to maybe just three a day.

I’m beginning to think they are taking this “youth” stuff a little too far. Your vagina might look like its six years old, but what are you going to do with your head? (Don’t answer that)

It even has a nice sounding name: “genitoplasty.”

America can sell anything.

I’m wondering if Ralph Lauren is going to get in on this: maybe some bright new colors: Labia Pink Lucence, or Vulva Venetian Red, or Genitals Green.

For the woman of color: Midnight Cream

(Okay, I’ll stop)


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And speaking of designing…Anne Wojcicki, is now starting a company with 3.9 million dollars generously given to her by her rich husband, Sergy Brin, part owner of Google.

Google, in case you haven’t heard, has plans to get as MUCH information on every single person on the planet as they possibly can. That’s why they keep every record of where you go on your internet every day for 2 years. EU thinks this is a bit much, but that’s just because they didn’t think of it.

But, they don’t want to stop there! Oh no! They want everyone's DNA! SO…what a better way to collect it than to use Anne’s company to entice everyone to send in their DNA and she will be able to tell you WHO your ancestors were!

Forget the Mormon Church!

They have said they will then use the knowledge they collect to make designer drugs. Drugs that might even cure designer Vagina’s when they fade.

And then Al Gore will then be able to use the Google DNA data base to decide just what humans have the “right stuff” to be picked to remain on the planet.

After all, according to them, the planet can only hold one billion people.

Something tells me it going to be Al Gore and his family, and the rest will be Mexicans gardeners.

After all, somebody has to take care of paradise.

Nobody Cares; Ted Kennedy said that we should “bring the immigrants out of the shadows and into the sunshine.”

Personally I think we should take Ted Kennedy “out of the sunshine and put him into the shadows.”

How about the dark side of the moon?

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