Thursday, June 14, 2007

April Fools! Amnesty Rules!

Picture Caption:Aprils Fools! Hey…we FOOLED YA! Huh, huh…heeeeeya! Damn we’re good! You believed everything we told ya!”

Nobody Knows: Here they are...the two men who together will go down in history as the men who put the final nails in the New World Global Order of VERY rich men. Two men who are rewriting history books as we speak to tell the world what great humanitarians they were, and how they saved the world.

Of course to do this they must destroy the country that trusted them. The men who believe in a borderless world of the poor lawn mowers, redistributed wealth, and rich international investors, and a Chinese chicken in every pot.

Even though right now, over 85 percent of Americans, wish they had never heard of either one of them.

So, because this nobody cannot say what she actually wants to say at the announcement today that George Bush has, like a tyrannical King of old-- told us all that, not to worry…he will just stuff 4 more billion dollars down the deep holes of the corrupt senators to pull his amnesty off no problem…

I really need to find another way to release my anger.

Punching my dog’s favorite stuffed doll is not going to be enough.

Clinton thinks BUSH is crazy because he would have just threatened a few guys with some juicy sex scandals---much cheaper and SO much more fun.

No, tonight I have decided to do what I always do when I feel an explosion of indignation at this incorrigible twosome of gumwads. I go into a fantasy world of …verbal revenge.

And since my verbal revenge is really unprintable, I am reaching back into history and imagining that these very appropriate “quotations” from famous angry dead men will make me feel better, especially if I look at the picture at the top while I’m reading them.

Remember, when you read these to think of either of these two men: I’m leaving out who the famous dead men were REALLY talking about….just because..Hey, it’s my fantasy.

1. “This man has no principle, public or private. As a politician, his sole spring of action is an inordinate ambition.”---Alexander Hamilton

2. “A man devoid of every principle.”---John Adams

3. “That dark, designing, sordid, ambitious, vain, proud, arrogant, and vindictive knave.” Gen Charles Lee

4. “His principles are all subordinate to his ambitions.”--- John Quincy Adams

5. “He is a silly doctrinaire at times and an utterly selfish and cold-blooded politician always.”—Theodore Roosevelt

6. “He stands aloof and alone, a molten mass of devouring energy and burning ambition, without anybody to control or guide it in the right direction.”--- Lord Curzon.

He has all the characteristics of a dog except loyalty.”---Sam Houston.

“There for the grace of God…goes god.”--- Winston Churchill…

“Mr. Chamberlain loves the working man: he loves to see him work.”--- Winston Churchill.

“The most popular man and the most able to do hurt that hath lived in any time.”-- Bernard Mandeville
(okay…Bill Clinton gets this alone.)

One could drive a schooner through any part of his argument and never scrape against a fact.”--- David Houston

Much of what Mr. …calls his global thinking is no matter how you slice it, still Globaloney.” --- Clare Booth Luce

And last but not least…my feelings at this very moment;

“I wouldn’t spit in their mouths if their teeth were on fire.”
Rodney Bickerstaffe

Thanks famous dead guys…I feel a little better.

Nobody Cares: The famous dead man quotes were taken from the book Distory by Robert Schnakenberg. Now I will tell you who some of these men were talking about, in order:

1. Alexander Hamilton…was shot by Aaron, but not for this, but I’m sure this didn’t help.
2. Actually, this was one of the nicer things John Adams said about Hamilton,
3. Gen. Charles Lee must have been mad that George Washington got all the attention.
4. John Quincy Adams said this about Martin Van Buren, who had a serious problem with facial hair.
5. Theodore Roosevelt pretty much had Woodrow Wilson number, because it was Woodrow who started the “United Nations” seed.
6. Lord Curzon…a conservative Brit on Lord Kitchener. Proof that all lords think alike.
Well…that’s enough…you get the idea.

None of these guys were fools. As Henry Adams one said "A study of the presidency from Washington to Grant is sufficient to disprove Darwin."

I wonder what Henry would say now?



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12:52 AM  

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