Thursday, November 29, 2007

Tubing with CNN


Nobody’s Opinion: I have been wondering for a long time, what exactly has come over CNN (Clinton Network of Nincompoops) because lately, the biggest conservative voices you would think would be on FOX are on CNN: Lou Dobbs, Glenn Beck, Pat Buchanan, and Bob Bennett.

Go figure.

Maybe they really are all one big party pretending to be split.

But last night, during the Republican debates in Florida, CNN was back and doing what they do best: portraying normal Americans as dumb, gun-toting, bible-thumping, Southern hicks. “Selected” YouTube questions were sent from obscure places, along with a ‘live’ question from a gay general who reportedly worked for Hillary. The topics were picked to accentuate all the stereotypes of dumb conservatives, right down to the gun-toting Dick Cheney cartoon.

Thus proving that the progressive writers are not on strike.

The topics were all the same ones to make the young democrats run with fear to the voting booths: gun control, abortion, Iraq, and mean Republicans picking on poor illegal aliens.

Here’s a quick summation;

Duncan Hunter: CNN kept off this guy…because he is sensible. He hunts quail. His son was in Iraq. He built a wall on the Mexican border proving that the concept actually works. He suggests we all buy American. He reminded the world that we are always helping them in all their natural disasters.

He sounds like a sensible guy, so they took a side profile shot to make him look like Bella Lugosi.

Ron Paul: Man wants to know, “Does he really believe in the North American Union Conspiracy?” Ron Paul says, “Yes!”

Paul has actually read the constitution. The only problem is, most Congressmen know the border cannot be closed due to corporate and government agreements already made in order to keep “elites” in money and power…so we have to stay over in Iraq and fight. If they closed the borders, and protected our country here, we could leave---but that won’t happen.

Nevertheless, Ron Paul as Secretary of Education could get rid of the Department and teach the next generation how to reason.

John MaCain: I don’t know about you, but McCain scares me…and I’m his “friend.” He has sided with the democrats on so many issues he’s starting to look like Hillary in drag. And to make up for his past liberal record, he is now a war-dog.

His very emotional stance on “no torture” is pretty scary. How could you expect him to make a rational decision in wartime? Sitting in a prison for five years doesn’t make you an expert on military strategy.

McCain said he would pick a Vice President with knowledge on telecommunications… Al Gore? The President of Yahoo? CEO of General Electric?

Fred Thompson: Whenever I see Fred, I think of the lion in The Wizard of Oz sitting as a judge siting legal cases of Law and Order.

Fred said he could correct Social Security in 75 years…so soon?

He would stay in Iraq forever. Fred needs a joke writer that’s not on strike.

Rudy Giuliani: Because Rudy is the only man who can beat Hillary due to his popularity among independents, Anderson came out of nowhere and mentioned the latest Rudy scandal to attack him.

But Rudy keeps running on the things that he has done, and it’s quite a bit. And yes, much as all others candidates harp about it---when all leaders were running for the bunkers on 9/11, he was out in front. Nevertheless, would he close the border?

Probably not.

Mitt Romney: Here’s a CEO with ambition. Whenever he looked into the camera, I really thought he was going to sell me a Ford. He had a great video ad.

He would solve most problems by bringing families back…well, wouldn’t we all? Let’s talk to Brittany Spears. On record, he is very confusing. Did he or didn’t he?

Since he thought it bad manners to ask an illegal alien to stop working on his roof, I don’t think fixing the borders is big on his list.

Mike Huckabee: Bill Clinton’s Howdy Doody. Like Bill he’s fun to watch. If elected, he would welcomed illegals with open arms, feed all the little children, and give speeches at Bill’s Global Initiative meetings on Christian compassion.

Tom Tracrado: Because he is even more feared than Ron Paul, he was only on camera for maybe two seconds.

There you go. All you learned was: CNN is still slipping, sliding, and tubing us all.

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