Nobody's Absurdities, No. 58- Flu Illusions

Nobody’s Opinion: It happens every winter---that great American pastime known as the “head cold.” The virus everyone passes around. Everyone you know gets it, and I have it big time.

Which will explain what you are about to read…courtesy of NyQuil.

I want to call it my “The Wizard is behind the curtain” trip, due to whatever they put in that stuff. You’re too busy trying to empty an endless supply of mucus in your nose into whatever empty napkin you can find… to care about anything, so actual “thinking” comes in spurts.

And writing seems a chore.

So, here in random order are the absurdities of my drug-induced absurd, I’m sicker-than- a -dog, day.

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UPDATE: I read yesterday that Hillary Clinton had played stewardess on her plane and actually called her plane “Hil Force One,” which I thought sounded so unbelievably arrogant and pretentious that I could not believe any serious candidate wanting to be taken seriously as a future Commander-in-Chief would even make such a joke before she came into office…so I wrote a blog and said it was just silly PR…never happened.

But there it was---up on YouTube today. YouTube--- that wonderful idea bought by the rich and Marxists owners of Google, probably just so democrats like Hillary could put all kinds of this stuff up to get us all to like her.

Due to the fact that I was under narcotics of Sudafed, I had forgotten Hillary’s Soprano’s stunt. Next thing you know, she’ll be on Family Guy.

The more she says running for President is not a game, the more she makes it one.

She needs to start passing out her ‘Presidential Gold Two-Dollar Coins' with her picture on it…you know the one she already posed for?

Is there a space being prepared on Mt. Rushmore yet?

Bill Mathews compared her to Margaret Thatcher, which was also pretty arrogant because the lady is still alive.

So, Mrs. Thatcher, wherever you are--- as a honest and caring human being…and on behalf of all freedom loving spirits everywhere, I humble apologize for that rediculous comparison.

Chris Mathews, as you know, is just another booger in the Clintons’ box of political virus’s.

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I lifted my head off the pillow this morning and there was the Head of the great Federal (which is a bunch of men not even associated with our government) Reserve Bank…Barney Barnacle Bernanke.

He was answering to Congress about the bad state of the economy.

His answer to the “recession” that we are NOT in, is that the government should just give all the people who are living paycheck to paycheck about three hundred dollars because those people could be counted on to go out right away and spend that money--- the rich people wouldn’t.

And since 2/3 of our economy is based on “consumer spending”--- and since consumer’s no longer have any money to “spend” anymore due to the recession we are not in, this poor guy thought well, if they don’t have any money to spend, we should just give it to them, so that everything will look good.

Huh?

This is like a tenant going to his landlord and saying, “Hey, I owe you money, and I don’t have it, I’m broke. But if you give me the money that I owe you, I can pay you that, and then we’re all okay for another month.

My head was too stuffed up enough to even try to figure this one out. Everyone is in debt, has no more money to buy stuff, so the government is going to give them money to go and buy stuff just to keep, what---the stock markets going? The banks going?

And pardon my aching earlobes, but $300 dollars in this “there is no recession, but there might be” will not do a thing to stimulate anything but a few nights out at the local bar.

Or your son's next hockey stick.

Maybe the banks should stop letting all the illegal immigrants here in this country send their money back to Mexico. Maybe the local police should stop letting 25 men live in one house. Make the Mexicans spend their money here.

Oh, that’s right---Bank of America is all over South America, that’s one bank that’s not suffering.

Three of the top five banks reported losses of over $12 .5 billion, and now we have to bail them out too?

Right---Anyone who’s sent in their credit card payments on time, only to get charged a $30.00 late fee for some crime they didn’t commit, thinks that we bail out the banks every time we pay interest on our credit cards.

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And then there is a rumor, mind you, a rumor going through my stuffed up ears, that the George Bush Family has bought a ranch in Paraguay. Since you really can’t hardly believe anything you read or hear anymore at all, this could be just a rumor. But it’s one that makes sense.

There is not a patriotic soul in this country who can figure out why in the world George W. Bush signed the SPP agreement with Canada and Mexico, merging the three countries and ending America as we know it.

Without our approval---Without a care in the world.

Could it be, that we, the American people, just don’t want to admit that America, the newest third world future country, has its own corrupt dictators? Presidents who hand out bits and pieces of us for a price?

While you might say that the Bush family has a right to buy any property in the world to retire to, this 175,000 acres of natural preserve property also comes with a grand military present in order to protect him all his retired days, paid for by you and me.

Why can’t these guys just retire to their multimillion dollars mansion libraries?

So--the Clintons have a home in the Bahamas, George will be in Paraguay, and why do they all have homes outside the US?

What do they know that we don’t?

President George has said he didn’t want to start WWIII, but if and when it comes, and if this rumor is true…he will be have plenty of fresh water and be far away from the whole mess.

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Speaking of Armageddon…last night, while watching the new series on TV called…“Terminator,” Sarah Connors, the mother of John Connors, savior of mankind after the holocaust…found out something very touching from the robot from the future.

This very sexy robot from the future told her that John, her son, the savior of the world after WWIII, said his favorite thing his mother did for him when he was a little boy, was read The Wizard of Oz to him---not in English, not in Dutch, but in Spanish.

What a mom.

Mothers of America, if you see this book in Spanish in your local library, I suggest you rent it out and send it to the producers of this show.

Better yet, save the pages for your next head cold.

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And as I now drift off to absurd sleep, there is something really bothering me. Like that song “Follow the Yellow Brick Road” ---I can’t get this puzzle out of my mind.

When George W. Bush was running for Office, in the background of many of his debates, I saw the St. Louis Arch. At the democratic convention speeches last week, there it was again, behind Hillary’s head.

So, this means, whenever you see the St. Louis Arch behind anyone’s head…that’s the person who will become President…or do they change the background for every city?

If you live in Miami, do you see Dolphins in the background?

Hell if I know….I just find it very strange…nothing is a coincidence anymore…

Unless it’s the flu.