Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Russia Gets Ahead With Atom Bomb Beauties!

Nobody Flashes: Having found out the very important information that Russia is holding a Miss Atom Bomb Contest, from that wonderful informer of gargantuan political satire and genius, Mr. Doug Powers, I feel I simply must explain to all the men out there, who might not put together the obvious reason for such a contest...besides the obvious of course, just why this contest is special.

And I have to thank Bill Clinton for helping me solve this most curious of puzzles.

Bubba was on Larry King tonight, and was bragging about his usual self, which as we all know is his favorite pastime, and he was boasting proudly that it was under HIS Presidency, and because of HIS personnel help, that the great mysteries of DNA, and the mapping of the Human Genome, was solved at last.

I ask you to stop here and ponder if you will--in the long run, which invention is better: Al Gore's Internet, Bill Clinton's human cloning, or the Miss Atom Bomb Contest?

It was President Bill Clinton who made sure that the American taxpayers donated billions of research dollars to the human genome project so that he could clone himself someday. Bill needs to continue to watch over his own legacy, therefore he made it a high priority (How can he trust anyone else?) and so, much as the atom bomb at Los Alamos changed the world, so will cloning.

He who breeds the superior race will win. Just ask Bill Gates.

This cloning research will continue to cost us, and it's probably in the stimulus bill that no-one has read, right behind the baby embryo's.

BUT...while we spend billions, Putin has learned a lesson from history. Something all OUR politicians fail to do...read history that is.

Frankly, many of them can't read...as we have seen time and again.

Yes, Putin does something much smarter...he puts the word out that they are looking for very good-looking women, who also happen to be nuclear physicists, to compete for Miss Atomic Nuclear Bombshell...and why?

To go down in the bunkers with Putin and his Mafia, and reproduce a much superior race after the nuclear bombs go off. Brains and beauty, why else?

Not to mention, if you can mix a nuclear cocktail, cooking would be simple.

This brilliant research project won't cost much at all.

In the meantime, when OUR American politicians come out of the bunkers, every kid is going to look and act.... just like Bill Clinton.

Obama doesn't stand a chance, and of course, the Russians will take over what's left of the earth, unless of course, Bill's Clinton's clones manage somehow to entice the new Russian babies to start a new country with him...

Bill Clinton...last man standing...



Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mafortas says:

Ahhh, memories of Peter Sellars in Dr Strangelove. "I heff ein Plen, mien President". Of course his was for 200 women for every man down in the bunkers.

I can just see Putin in the arms of a curvacious Sveta the Physicist - "Vas it gut for you", he askes. She refocusses her eyes from that point beyond the ceiling and says, " Zee ignition was von ofer nine times sum theta, which vill axpaline vy ze thrust vass only .4493 epsilon declinink over ze sirty seconds, und no lift off".

8:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That was me, Joy; Amfortas with shakey fingers.

The reason that Willy hasn't got around to cloning as yet is that he doesn't want anyone to have a willy like his.

And that's because Hillary wants every man to have a willy like his for every other woman to enjoy cutting off.

8:16 PM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home