Saturday, April 11, 2009

Nobody Flashes Information

Nobody Flashes Information on a Saturday Night...

Right now, it's 10.30 pm on the Saturday night before Easter, and I'm watching Charles Heston receive the Ten Commandments, (in the movie of course) And I'm STILL amazed at the Technicolor. I cannot for the life of me figure out why they got rid of that wonderful colored film...if you just happen to know why...fill me in.

Anyway, it's "e-mail for nobody" night.

Update: Moses---"And they were filled with inequity and vile shame"
(Sorry I'm typing this while the people are dancing around at the bottom of the holy mountain... waiting for Moses to come down. I think he's actually talking about the 111th Congress...yes, I'm sure he is, Moses was also a prophet. He knew Nostradamus.

Update: Aaron just threw down his pipe and ran! (Much like my girlfriend from high school did one night, when she saw a cop car...)

Update: Moses: "Who is on the lord's side? Let him come to me!" People are having trouble untangling body parts.

Update: Oh-oh...Edward G. Robinson is in deep doo-doo.

Update: "Those who will not live by the law, shall DIE by the law!" Whoa, they didn't even torture first.

Moses just threw down the tablets, and smashed them completely, which means, just because he lost his temper, he had to go back up to the mountain and get another copy.

Wait, he DID get another copy, right?

Enough...sorry. I love this movie. Heston was the "bomb."

Back to my e-mail...

Okay, so not all e-mails are pictures of cats, or naked ladies, or Redneck jokes...this e-mail, had stuff in it that might help you sometime...if for no other reason, to make a bet with your best friend at a bar when he or she has had MUCH more to drink than you! Thereby making you feel superior and making a complete fool out of your friend for not knowing the answer...and that is always good for a laugh...which we all need.

UPDATE:" Moses can't go into Israel for some reason...he mumbles. ...and then he says...

"Go...proclaim liberty throughout the land, and all the inhabitants thereof! And you will have to take this staff from my dead cold hands!"

And he walks off into the Technicolor clouds, that even has the first "green" clouds ever seen by man...the technicolor guy got a little too happy....

Anyway...everyone have a Happy Easter! (So shall it be written, so shall it be done!)


Here we go....the weekly e-mail...with a few comments from myself--- just because.

Alaska More than half of the coastline of the entire United States is in Alaska. (Which is REAL reason why the conservatives don't want Sarah Palin to run for President in the future.)

Amazon The Amazon rain forest produces more than 20% the world's oxygen supply.
The Amazon River pushes so much water into the Atlantic Ocean that, more than one hundred miles at sea off the mouth of the river, one can dip fresh water out of the ocean. The volume of water in the Amazon river is greater than the next eight largest rivers in the world combined and three times the flow of all rivers in the United States . (And yet, they want to come here?)

Antarctica is the only land on our planet that is not owned by any country.
Ninety percent of the world's ice covers Antarctica . This ice also represents seventy percent of all the fresh water in the world. As strange as it sounds, however, Antarctica is essentially a desert. The average yearly total precipitation is about two inches. Although covered with ice (all but 0.4% of it that is), Antarctica is the driest place on the planet, with an absolute humidity lower than the Gobi desert. (And yet, Al Gore does nothing. )

Brazil got its name from the nut, not the other way around. (Oh)

Canada has more lakes than the rest of the world combined. Canada is an Indian word meaning ' Big Village ' (So, Canada can send California water, and Hillary Clinton can move to the BIG VILLAGE she has been looking for---it's settled.)

Chicago Next to Warsaw , Chicago has the largest Polish population in the world. (I knew there was something a little strange about Obama, and Hillary)

Detroit Woodward Avenue in Detroit , Michigan , carries the designation M-1, so named because it was the first paved road anywhere. (It is also destined to have the last road to nowhere.)

Damascus, Syria was flourishing a couple of thousand years before Rome was founded in 753 BC, making it the oldest continuously inhabited city in existence. (Well, that explains it.)

Istanbul, Turkey is the only city in the world located on two continents. (So, do they have to file two tax returns?)

Los Angeles full name is El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reina de los Angeles de Porciuncula -- and can be abbreviated to 3.63% of its size: L.A. (Porciuncula? Did the porcupine come first?)

New York City The term 'The Big Apple' was coined by touring jazz musicians of the 1930's who used the slang expression 'apple' for any town or city. Therefore, to play New York City is to play the big time - The Big Apple. There are more Irish in New York City than in Dublin , Ireland ; more Italians in New York City than in Rome , Italy ; and more Jews in New York City than in Tel Aviv, Israel . (What do you expect from a jazz musician? And soon, we will have more Mexicans than Mexico...we're on a roll. We need more Chinese than China...more Japanese than Japan...more Russians than Russia, more Iranians than Iran...wait...let's not get too excited.)

Ohio There are no natural lakes in the state of Ohio ! Every one is man made. (That explains why they have gay marriage---they like to make things there out of nothing.)

Pitcairn Island The smallest island with country status is Pitcairn in Polynesia , at just 1.75 sq. miles/4.53 sq. km. (Is there a sewer plant? Carbon toe print? )

Rome The first city to reach a population of 1 million people was Rome , Italy in 133 B.C. There is a city called Rome on every continent. (There is also a crater called Martin Luther King on the moon...come on...isn't there?)

Siberia contains more than 25% of the world's forests. (Hey, I thought the AMAZON Rain forest was supplying the oxygen? What's up here? Where our "Save the Siberian Forest" shampoo? )

S.M.O.M . The actual smallest sovereign entity in the world is the Sovereign Military Order of Malta. It is located in the city of Rome , Italy ; has an area of two tennis courts' and as of 2001 has a population of 80 - 20 less people than the Vatican . It is a sovereign entity under international law, just as the Vatican is. (This is actually wrong. Now we know, that the smallest sovereign entity in the world is the White House. It now has a playground, it's own vegetable garden, and a population of four...)

Sahara Desert In the Sahara Desert, there is a town named Tidikelt, which did not receive a drop of rain for ten years. Technically though, the driest place on Earth is in the valleys of the Antarctic near Ross Island . There has been no rainfall there for two million years. (Well, if Obama gets his way, there WILL be rain in Ross Island, his cloud seeding project will just have to start there, that is, if he REALLY cares about the world....)

Spain literally means 'the land of rabbits.' (Well, of course it does!)

St. Paul, Minnesota was originally called Pig's Eye after a man named Pierre 'Pig's Eye' Parrant who set up the first business there. (So...who was Paul? Pierre's cousin Minne? )

Roads Chances that a road is unpaved in the U.S.A. = 1%; in Canada = 75% (I bet they can't wait to get those electric cars.)

Texas The deepest hole ever made in the world is in Texas . It is as deep as 20 empire state buildings but only 3 inches wide. (There's a off-colored barroom joke in that fact, somewhere...)

United States The Eisenhower interstate system requires that one mile in every five must be straight. These straight sections are usable as airstrips in times of war or other emergencies. (It was built so that people could turn off their cars and just slowly coast down the hills, thereby saving gas and money.)

Waterfalls The water of Angel Falls (the World's highest) in Venezuela drops 3,212 feet (979 meters). They are 15 times higher than Niagara Falls . (Yeah, but they've never FROZEN!)

I have always said you should learn something new every day. Unfortunately, many of us are at that age where what we learn today, we forget tomorrow.

( Hey...I don't have to wait till tomorrow, see you on Monday.)



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