Conspiracy: "Birther" Gives Birth To A Birth Certificate

Nobody's Opinion:

Holy Cod-Fish!

When I read Ann Coulter’s last post (Birth Certificate Spotted In Bogus Moon Landing Footage), I felt like Ann had hit me over the head with her favorite Grateful Dead album while chanting, “You are a Republican---you are a Republican, you are not on the moon…”

I am a die-hard fan of Ann’s genius, but I couldn’t for the life of me (a life that is soon to be sacrificed, I’m told) figure out exactly what was concerning her so much.

Was it that Democrats come up with the most ridiculous conspiracy theories in the universe? Or was it that there are actually conservative people that believe when our constitution says that it’s a requirement that the President of our country be a natural- born citizen, and when that President spends thousands of dollars to hide all the facts of his birth and his life, there really is a conspiracy to conceal the truth, along with an egregious crime.

And what’s John Edward’s sex life got to do with this?

Our founders evidently thought that Article 2, Section 1, was really important. God forbid that our country fall into the hands of foreigners. President George Washington, (Ann’s favorite president, I have read) would probably have hung any public servant on the steps of our Capital if it was proven that they had taken Chinese money to get elected: or given away nuclear reactors to psychopaths knowing full well of the possible consequences: or accepted millions of dollars for gargantuan presidential libraries and campaign cash from faraway places like Saudi Arabia.

Selling our ports to Dubai would have probably knocked poor George off his horse.

But Ann is not the only one calling “birthers” nuts. Bill (I’m just looking out for you!) O’Reilly, Shepard (you’re a bunch of crazies) Smith, Glenn (common sense tells you not to make a big deal out of this) Beck---all Fox News pundits---all seem to agree that the “birthers”, people who believe that Obama may not be a natural-born a citizen, are nut- cases.

Where’s the fair and balanced?

If we can pay for all of ‘President’ Obama’s luxurious multi-million dollar life-style, while he puts us and our children into eternal debt and desperation---well let’s just say, it’s the least he can do…show us the proof.

So, what’s up with these pundits? Cherry-picking what constitutional rule you wish to apply, and which ones you feel are not relevant to your ideas and can therefore can be changed or just plain ignored, is a right out of the Democratic play-book. We have a living Constitution, compassionate global judges, and now…conservative pundits having mental relapses. It’s bad enough that we have Homeland Security putting patriotic Americans on terrorist lists.

Come on guys…we need you!

Can you say…”Rule of law, not of men.”?

For the good name of Trig, I decided to compare the many liberal daily talking-point attacks that Ann has in her piece, to conspiracy theories: there is a difference. Here is the actual meaning of the word, ‘conspiracy’:

1. The act of conspiring. 2. an evil, unlawful, treacherous, or surreptitious plan formulated in secret by two or more persons; plot, purpose.

For instance, signing an executive order the first day of your Presidency, that no one can have access to your birth records, shows that you are conspiring to hide the fact that you are not legally President.

Bush using his connections as a rich man’s kid by skipping some National Guard time is not exactly a conspiracy. Doing National Guard duty is not a prerequisite for becoming President of the United States, according to our constitution.

But if all conspiracy theories are bogus, then I guess, “We the people” are to accept these “facts:”

• JFK was shot by one bullet, from the back, even though the video shows a bullet hit his head from the front, first.

• The Federal Reserve is not an evil empire, it’s a bunch of men who are really good guys. We do not need to know who they are, or need to ever see their books.

• The Bilderberg meetings, the WTO, the G8 parties, the European Union---are just harmless parties for the rich to relax and have Angelina Jolie show her lips.

• Joe Kennedy did not buy his son’s Presidency with the help of the mob in Chicago.

• The moon landing was actually done with the batteries of a simple GE radio…and that flag was stiff, and we just found new never-before-seen photos!

• The buildings on 9/11, even though it certainly looked like a professional job to most of us, collapsed faster than a simple two-story house because of the heat.

• Our country would have gone into a deep depression if President Bush and ‘President’ Obama had not started spending trillions to stimulate our economy. Don’t you even doubt it.

Our founders knew that every single man alive was capable of “devouring his own kind” when faced with the reigns of power. They knew all too well that “evil” men were always hatching conspiracies to take that power and abuse it.

So therefore, because nobody bothered to check out Obama’s credentials, we now have a President who bows deeply to Saudi Kings: calls cops stupid: believes America has made way too many mistakes: puts us in mortal danger from our enemies: divides us daily on a racial basis: insists on rationing our health care: and basically goes around acting like Castro’s ugly step…..brother.

Did someone conspire to put Obama in office to destroy the United States?

Or did Obama’s birth certificate get destroyed by a hurricane caused by global warming, in the middle of Kenya, because the attending Muslim doctor was too busy helping Jimmy Carter give birth to a peanut big enough to feed the world, and couldn’t sign it because he had to leave? The family dog then ate the rest of it, somewhere in Canada.

What, are you nuts?