WHO Are We Stimulating?
Nobody Gets Email on Saturday Night: While I was listening to some woman today, talking at one of the many union meetings, I was thinking about this email.
She was upset that her unemployment ran out. I guess those stimulus dollars just didn't get to her.
Many are still shouting "Where's the Beef?" Maybe they should be saying, "Where's the stimulus?" Where oh where did it go?
I got this email early last week...I think whoever wrote this is even more of a cynic than this nobody! I hope he keeps it up...I need the competition. (no, well..)
Email of the week:
Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive another economic stimulus payment. This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by using a Q & A format:
Q: What is an economic stimulus format?
A: It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.
Q: Where will the government get this money?
A. From taxpayers.
Q: So the government is giving me back my own money?
A: Only a smidgen of it.
Q: What is the purpose of this payment?
A: The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.
Q: But, isn't that stimulating the economy of China?
A: Shut up.
Below is helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending your stimulus checks wisely:
* If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China or Sri Lanka.
* If you spend it on gasoline the money will go to the Arabs.
*If you purchase a computer, it will go to India, Taiwan, or China.
*If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras, and Guatemala.
* If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea.
*If you purchase useless stuff it will go to Taiwan.
*if you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.
INSTEAD...keep the money in America by:
1. Spending it at yard sales..or
2. Going to ball games...or
3. Spending it on prostitutes..or
These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S.
Conclusion: Go to a ballgame with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale, and drink beer all day!
No need to thank me, I'm just glad to be of help.
(Thanks to Tom Beebe)