Saturday, February 26, 2011

WHO Are We Stimulating?

Nobody Gets Email on Saturday Night: While I was listening to some woman today, talking at one of the many union meetings, I was thinking about this email.

She was upset that her unemployment ran out. I guess those stimulus dollars just didn't get to her.

Many are still shouting "Where's the Beef?" Maybe they should be saying, "Where's the stimulus?" Where oh where did it go?

I got this email early last week...I think whoever wrote this is even more of a cynic than this nobody! I hope he keeps it up...I need the competition. (no, well..)

Email of the week:

Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive another economic stimulus payment. This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by using a Q & A format:

Q: What is an economic stimulus format?
A: It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.
Q: Where will the government get this money?
A. From taxpayers.
Q: So the government is giving me back my own money?
A: Only a smidgen of it.
Q: What is the purpose of this payment?
A: The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.
Q: But, isn't that stimulating the economy of China?
A: Shut up.

Below is helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending your stimulus checks wisely:

* If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China or Sri Lanka.
* If you spend it on gasoline the money will go to the Arabs.
*If you purchase a computer, it will go to India, Taiwan, or China.
*If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras, and Guatemala.
* If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea.
*If you purchase useless stuff it will go to Taiwan.
*if you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.

INSTEAD...keep the money in America by:
1. Spending it at yard sales..or
2. Going to ball games...or
3. Spending it on prostitutes..or
4. Beer...or
5. Tattoos.

These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S.

Conclusion: Go to a ballgame with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale, and drink beer all day!

No need to thank me, I'm just glad to be of help.

(Thanks to Tom Beebe)



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