Saturday, March 26, 2011

Houston: We Have A REAL Candidate!





Nobody Gets Email on Saturday Night: I have been getting so many great emails during the week, that I think I'll have to post them more than once a week. It seems such a pity to let these gems of wisdom and enlightenment go without notice. So, keep an eye out for more from me. Here's one by Bill Cosby...who was not only one of the funniest men on the planet, but a real American, who maybe SHOULD run for President!

(Thanks to Pat)

******
Bill Cosby has a great way of "distilling" things. Looks like he's done it again!

AMERICA NEEDS A CANDIDATE WITH THIS PLATFORM!!

I have decided to become a write-in candidate for President for the year 2012...
Here is my platform:

1. Any use of the phrase: 'Press one for English' is immediately BANNED! English IS the official language: Speak it, or wait outside our borders until you can.

2. We will immediately go into a two year isolationist attitude in order to straighten out the greedy big business posture in this country. America will allow NO imports, and we'll do NO exports. We will use the "Wal-Mart's" policy, 'If we ain't got it, you don't need it." We'll make it here and sell it here!

3. When imports are allowed, there will be 100% import tax on it coming in here.

4. All retired military personnel will be required to man one of the many observation towers located on the Southern border of the United States. (six month tour) They will be under strict orders not to fire on SOUTH BOUND aliens.

5. Social Security will immediately return to its original state. If you didn't put nothin in, you AIN'T getting nothin out. Neither the President nor any other politician will be able to touch it.

6. Welfare. Checks will be handed out on Fridays, at the end of the 40 hour school week, the successful completion of a urinalysis test for drugs, and passing grades.

7. Professional Athletes--Steroids? The FIRST time you check positive you're banned from sports...For life.

8. Crime---we will adopt the Turkish method, I.e., the first time you steal you lose your right hand. (Nobody says...Bill is really getting into it now!) There is no more 'life sentences.' If convicted of murder, you will be put to death by the same method you chose for your victim you killed: gun, knife, strangulation, etc.

9. One export of will be allowed: wheat; because the world needs to eat. However, a bushel of wheat will be the EXACT price of a barrel of oil.

10. All foreign aid, using American taxpayer money, will immediately cease and the saved money will help to pay off the national debt and, ultimately lower the taxes. When disasters occure around the world, we'll ask the American people if they want to donate to a disaster fund, and each citizen can make the deicsion as to whether, or not, it is a worthy cause.

11. The Pledge of Allegiance will be said EVERY day at school, and every day in CONGRESS.

12. The National Anthem will be played at all appropriate ceremonies, sporting events, outings, ete.

My apologies if I have stpped on anyone's toes...NEVERTHELESS...

GOD BLESS AMERICA

Sincerly,

Bill Cosby.

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