Nobody Bans Depression!

Nobody Reports on a Monday: Well…is nothing scared anymore?

Not according to Shawn Clancy of New York. He’s banning the singing of Danny Boy on St Patrick’s Day in his bar.

The guy’s an idiot.

I can think of a lot of things I myself would ban if I had a chance: those stupid plastic boxes on clothes in all your “finer” stores, Michael Jackson’s nose, solar lawn lights, half of my computer, most of my e-mail spam, potholes, unclean public restrooms, rats, the guy who’s singing Pirates songs in the bar because he didn’t go to mycreditreport.com, and Hillary’s Clinton's Cackle…

But to ban the singing of Danny Boy on St. Patrick’s day is like telling a woman about to give birth to---hey---just keep in inside, would ya?

Shawn was on TV telling the whole world he was doing it as a favor…Why we should all be happy, it’s a depressing song. But then he let out the REAL reason he is banning it.

It’s purely selfish. There is only so many times you can hear Danny Boy sung in your lifetime without going nuts, and Shawn has hit his nutty tolerance level.

In fact, he probably hit when he was thirteen.

To be fair to him, I can understand his lack of, compassion. I myself, for many years worked at pubs on St. Patty’s day (as the entertainer) …and on that night alone, everyone knows someone who wants to get up and sing that song.

And if you don’t let them sing it, you are damned to hell, and so is your mother---trust me. These people live all year just to sing Danny Boy on St. Patrick ’s Day in front of their friends.

And on St. Patty’s day, you don’t have to be Irish to start drinking at ten in the morning. By the time you get to eight in the evening, most everyone is primed for the big cry.

And that’s what it is---a big group hug-cry, which ends up as a bonding moment of pure satisfaction to everyone in the bar.

And there’s the one note that everyone wants to hold out for as long as they can…because well, it’s a contest of who can hold that one note the longest…

"AND I”LL BE HEEEEEEEEEEEREEEEEEEREEEEEREEEEEREEE
In sunshine and in shadow…oh Danny Boy , Oh Danny Boy I love you SOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo" (whew! )

I tell ya, there was many a night while I was playing the piano on St. Patty’s day, and there was always some guy who just had to come up and sing it again, (after the first eleven people), because his brother had missed his first rendition…because he was at another Irish Bar singing the same song.

Yes, I have to agree…if you are sober and the rest of the room is drunk, hearing Danny Boy butchered for seven hours straight would probably be a good way to torture Islamic Jihadists…then let the lads take them back to the bar and drown them in green beer.

But, let’s get serious here. It’s one of the most beautiful songs ever written. I don’t give a mud-soaked boot who wrote it. It’s about a mother, knowing her boy is going off to defend liberty and fight for his country, and in the song he comes back alive.

Which of course is all any mother wants.

That song will be around long after old Shawn is well be dead and buried….

Which reminds me of the second verse, which nobody EVER sings, but I think says it all…

" And when ye come, and all the flowers are dying
If I am dead, and dead I well may be
You’ll come and find, the place where I’ll be lying
And Kneel and say an Ava there for me

And I shall hear the softly treat of autumn
And on my grave shall warmer sweeter be
For ye will kneeeeeeeeeel and tell me that you love me
And I shall sleep in peace to ye come to me."

Go ahead; finish the song…Oh Danny Boy….the pipes the pipes are calling…

Toast the boys in Iraq and all their mothers---Shawn, go on vacation.

So--I suggest if you’re in New York, go to O’Neill’s AJ Café where he will be having 1000 renditions of Danny Boy. Take it from an old pro…Shawn Clancy likes the song Molly Malone, which is about the stupidest song I’ve ever heard…but okay if you like cockles and Mussels.

I will say no more.

Happy St. Patty’s day, everybody---and now to the news:

Nobody’s Perfect: Any man, like New York politician, Eliot Spitzer, who would pay $5,000 for a hooker for one hour, and then do it again, has serious math issues.

Nobody’s Knows; Was Obama doing drugs when he was in church listening to Rev. Jeremiah Wright’s God damning America? Is that why he doesn’t remember?

Nobody Cares: As much as the Democrats want to separate church and state, it seems all they do is campaign in churches. Still, the Republicans don’t seem to care.

Nobody Wins: When California starts down the long path of controlling and outlawing home schooling, it’s an ominous forecast for the rest of us.

Nobody’s Fool: Isn’t it interesting that just this week that “tape” of Obama’s priest came out…how long has he been doing this hate white/America show?

Well…all this racial hatred is giving me the urge to just be depressed. Pardon me while I go sing…(ahem)…..

“Oh Danny Boy…the Pipes, the Pipes are calling….”

Nobody has the right to ban depression…God bless the soldiers! Pass the beer!