Sunday, April 15, 2007

Al Gore's Bee Discrimination

Nobody Flashes: Someone needs to get a hold of this guy, and get him to either buy himself a REAL earphone, or get rid of that cancer causing thing forever.

According to the latest scientific suspicions, cell phones are more of a threat to the destruction of human kind than global warming: more of a threat than Islamic terrorists, more of a threat than Don Imus.

Even more of a threat than President George W. Bush!

Yes, honey bees everywhere are hitting those magnetic fields of all the millions of conversations floating through our stratosphere and getting lost. And who could blame them? Most of the stuff everyone is talking about would annoy any species.

The bees are having a hard time finding their way home to the hive, and just flying around in circles and wearing their cute little wings out, and then, boom….global extinction.

No more ethanol dreams. No more burritos. No more…bee sting stories to tell your kids when they get bit on how brave YOU were at your first bite.

Thereby depriving yourself of a lie you can tell and feel good about.

Now, because Al Gore has not shown even the tiniest concern about this, even though, if true, then it really IS a man-made Armageddon …the rest of the world figures it’s not even a concern.

But I suggest before we dismiss this seemingly meaningless global extinction, because well---NO environmental junkie is even concerned about the poor little bees, due to the fact they are more concerned about the big polar bear thereby showing their usual discrimination against the little guy…maybe they should read the words of their TIME MAGAZINE man of the century, Albert Einstein who once said: (in between girlfriends)

“Man would have only four years of life left” if all the bees disappeared.

Well, the good news is, if that’s true, we can eat anything we want, get as fat as we please, and all stop paying taxes.

Still, I can’t help wondering if this is why I can’t get a decent cob of corn at my supermarket anymore. Has a vast conspiracy been concocted so that some big company which sells genetically improved seeds for self-propagating corn will be bought?

Or is this just a way to get rid of all the fat people?

Either way, I’m stocking up on honey.

Nobody’s Knows: Someone suggested on the radio the other night that the bees have all been taken to fields of corn with big domes in them, where our government was working with an alien race to make…I forgot. Something…like in the X-Files movies.

Nobody Cares; Who knows if is this is true? I’m still trying to control my roach problems. But if I see some honey bees around my house, out of respect, I will NOT turn on my cell phone, so they can have a lovely time. If Al Gore doesn’t care about them, then they must be important.



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