Thursday, April 05, 2007

Mama, Please Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Cowboys

Nobody’s Opinion: Boy, could we sure use a few more cowboys at this moment in time. Seeing Nancy Pelosi in her designer suits and scarves obsequiously meandering to the Arab tyrants is enough to drive any true American off looking for a lasso. A fantasy of Nancy Pelosi tied up like a heifer around the angles, is a nice vision of mine.

You won’t read this many places, but for years, the American cowboy was the hero not only of this country, but our westerns were popular all over the world. The good cowboy would come in, clean up the town, and justice would be served. There was a right, and there was a wrong. Life was simple. If the sheriff was a bad guy, some drifter would come in, and shoot him dead.

Thank you very much.

The men were tough. And the women were also tough. Together they worked the fields, fed the kids, fought Indians, and somehow managed to go on and populate the nation. We remained a tough people, until…well somewhere around Jimmy Carter.

Jimmy Carter was such a wuss.

For many years, our culture was forged on the old westerns. My husband stills watches the old John Wayne movies. My mother, bless her heart, never missed one episode of The Lone Ranger. Long after my father died, the Lone Ranger was her secret hero. I personally liked Tombstone, the movie where Val Kilmer playing Doc Holiday. He looks at Ringo, the scumbag bad guy and says:

“I’m Your Huckleberry” and then shots him.

And that’s why most of us voted for George Bush. We thought he was a cowboy.

Unfortunately, the American cowboy mentality is slowing fading into the sunset, because of political correctness.

The cowboy mentality isn’t only for men. It’s a mentality of there’s a right and a wrong, and the right will prevail.

One of my favorite cowboys is Ann Coulter. She came out both guns barreling all through the Clinton years. At the time, besides a few of the men on the impeachment team, who have recently become silent, she was the only one really blasting. She is STILL packing. My hero. My American Cowboy, God bless her cowboy straight shooting heart.

And Rush Limbaugh, he has more than once pointed out right from wrong. He’s like the old time sheriff that nobody messes with, the bad guys hate him, but he is just so damn popular with the whole town, they can’t touch him.

Michelle Malkin is another great cowboy. I can just see her all dressed up fancy, standing in the middle of town, hands on her guns, looking real pretty, waiting to face any liberal who dared to challenge her. (I would put Nancy at the other end of the street, but that’s just me.) She would squint those pretty eyes and say, “You feeling Lucky?”

This brings us to Clint Eastwood. The most famous cowboy of us baby boomers. Clint, the man who just came in and saved the woman, the town, righted the universe.

Who put cookies in his milk? Clint turned out to be a great actor after all.

Lou Dobbs…yes, a new sheriff is in town, boys, move over. Yeeeeessssssss!

And Glenn Beck, my goodness. Glenn is more than a cowboy; he is like a whole posse, but also a great guy to hang out with around the campfire. How can you not love Glenn Beck?

Bill O’Reilly is another great cowboy. He was like the bounty hunter who would hunt you down over fifty states. Like Sundance saying “Who IS this guy?”

And Michael Savage…sometimes he gets full of himself, but he would have been the ultimate cowboy, at the head of the posse, running the horse as fast as possible, both guns in his hands, and the reins between his teeth, shooting ten men at once.

And of course, the liberals most hated cowboy, Ronald Reagan, who was the beacon of right and wrong, with a philosophy so indisputable that even now, liberals quote him at every chance.

So here’s the dilemma---we have an awful lot of cowboys, why can’t they clean up the country? Why can’t they come in and get rid of the bad guys?

Because the cowboys are not in charge.

No, to right the wrongs of our country we must put on the American Cowboy mentality on all of the people in America who want to hold on to liberty, and justice to all. Get out the guns of rationality. Get on the horses. Get mad. Get really mad.

It’s time for the mama’s to start raising some cowboys, and that’s only going to happen when the people of America, stand up to their politicians, stare them straight in the eye and say, “Mr. liberal democratic bad man (woman):

I’m Your Huckleberry.”

Nobody’s Perfect: Now I realize many groups speak will blame the loss of our cowboy mentality on feminization. Me…I’d say feminization was part of the plan to move the nation to socialism then to communism, in order to make way for the ultimate fascist state of the One World Government. But then again, even though I am just one nobody, I’m going to load up.

Nobody Knows: Clint Eastwood once said, “I always cry when I watch myself on screen.”

I cried when I found out that Clint was just a very good actor making money, and did not believe in one moment of anything he ever represented on screen---how sad.

Nobody Cares; Bill Clinton used to like to tell everyone that his favorite movie was “High Noon.” He even talked about it in his book. He wanted you to think that he was like Gary Cooper, the only man in the world walking down the street at high noon to face down the evil Republicans all by himself.

Bill Clinton would actually be more like the chicken town mayor, always in some brothel at the time of the shootout. Sending out his “boys” to do the dirty work.

Nobody Wins
: Some of our best cowboys have been wounded. Rumsfeld, (I refuse to believe that he caused the mess in Iraq) Dick Cheney, Phyllis Schlafly. Maybe they were the ones who actually were the bravest.

Somehow I can’t see any of these people giving multi-million dollar lectures in Dubai anytime soon.

The day that happens, we will be a nation of clowns. We're not there YET.

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