Counterpunching Alexander Cockburn

Nobody’s Opinion: Sundays are made for lazing…and yesterday afternoon I was trying to find something on my 2,399 channels of cable to watch. I had just finished watching Tom Cruise agonizing over the end of the world (once again) in Spielberg’s remake of “War of the Worlds” and I did not want to go from that cheery film to getting my tax stuff together---so I went looking hard for any kind of procrastinating excuse to forget about taxes, and I found one.

I came upon some really interesting and optimistic looking guy named Alexander Cockburn talking on C-Span. I thought to myself, “Well, he seems to be a very articulate, and an intelligent looking fellow, why not listen to him? I might learn something.”

It’s surprising how looks can deceive.

The interview was probably near the middle, and Mr. Cockburn was bragging about his family. It seems he was very proud to be a journalist, as were his two brothers, and all three were right about everything they ever wrote or said.

Oh, and by the way, he kept making the statement that he was very independent as was his blog, which he called Counterpunch.

He was British, so right away I was attentive. He seemed anxious to have them show his daughter’s picture. Alexander was very proud to say that she was into some kind of…well, it was all nebulous, some kind of manipulation style of the spinal column developed by an obviously famous European somebody.

“Well, is she a chiropractor?” asked the lady interviewer.

“No.” he said…in fact, dad did not want to come out and say his daughter actually had no degrees of any kind (a COMPLETE embarrassment to someone of his obvious pedigree) and was just a plain old masseuse. He had to make what she did for a living sound so…elite and special, bless his heart. She manipulated the spine…it’s all so…progressive.

Liberals are so good at BS.

Then they started taking calls, and he said something about how he really liked the American people, but was totally amazed when all those American people came out for Ronald Reagan’s funereal. After all, Reagan was so stupid.

He also made a very loving point about Hugo Chavez, and how he was officially and democratically elected. Yes, it was embarrassing for the United States to have Chavez paying for the oil and gas bills of the poor in the Northeastern area of the United States. The capitalists never do a thing. (I guess we're too busy supporting millions of illegal immigrants from Mexico, giving them free medical care, free education, and welfare checks, doesn’t count to help out our own people.)

Hugo is doing such wonderful things according to Mr. Cockburn, that it was obvious he would be quite happy for Hugo to run the entire world, or at least come and let him adopt him as another brother.

Hugo Chavez coming to Alexander’s house for tea would probably be the highlight of his life.

Okay…it’s the same old stuff you hear all the time---in fact; his was not a very independent view at all. Too bad the guy was under the impression that he was such a brilliant and independent thinker.

He seemed harmless, almost like watching an old rerun of “What’s My Line,” until he got to the subject of impeachment.

That’s a sore spot with this nobody.

If there is one thing liberals NEVER ever tire of talking about, it is how President Bush should be impeached for invading Iraq, and how absurd it was that Bill Clinton was impeached over sex.

It’s funny…the liberals are so quick to forgive Bill Clintons his long lists of sexual affairs, (and rape) but Rudy Giuliani is being blasted for being married three times, as if Bill gets a pass because Hillary never divorced him for being a sexual predator.

Liberals also like to say that Bill’s sex life has nothing to do with how great a President he was.

Never mind that he talked to the head of the FBI only twice, and Monica hundreds. The country was never in danger.

But, nowhere will you ever hear a liberal, or many conservatives for that matter, compare Bill Clinton’s crime of handing over (opening up all channels) our nuclear secrets to China, who in turn gave the technology over to Iran and Iraq.

The only places I saw that it was being reported were WorldNet Daily, NewsMax, and then Drudge.

Great…Ronald Reagan takes down the communist’s threat from the Russians, and Bill Clinton turns around and gives nuclear arms capability to communist China. China now, thanks to Bill Clinton, has missiles aimed at every city here. Something that Iran has not been able to accomplish. And if they did, it would not be President George Bush that would give them the capabilities.

It will be China.

China is now helping out the Muslims all over the world.

This fact, and the fact that no one talks about this threat, seems to only infuriate me…okay, cool off Joyanna….

Anyway, last week in Sometimes a Synchronicity, I wrote about George Orwell, and his education at Eton, and how communism had been introduced into the elite universities of England and the United States, so after the impeachment comment, I decided to look this guy up.

According to Wikpedia, Alexander Cockburn graduated from Oxford and was the son of Claud Cockburn, a man who was a famous author himself. Claud was a communist, and worked for the Daily Worker, a British communist paper.

Claud Cockburn and George Orwell had both gone to the Spanish War, and George Orwell had attacked Claud about his communistic views, in his piece called Homage to Catalonia.

I guess you just can’t keep a good communist down, or his kids.

Reading on, it seems that Alexandra Cockburn, the indoctrinated son, has been attacking a real educated British journalist that I read and enjoy called Christopher Hitchens, because Christopher, a British journalist and once friends with Alexander has stood by President Bush’s decision to go into Iraq, and because of this has taken some pretty powerful “bullets” from his liberal friends.

“What a truly disgusting sack of shit Hitchens is.” said Alexander Cockburn.

To which Christopher replied, “Cockburn is welcome to describe me as a “sack of shit” as well as to smear excrement all over the walls of his nursery.”

Don’t you just love it when the elite talk dirty?

This goes to prove, that even the finest schools can turn out men who sometimes resort to the lowest form of rhetorical counter punches….

And Chris’s punch was a great one.

Now, if only I could counter punch my tax return.

That’s what I get for practicing procrastination. But then again, if I had done my taxes, I would never have learned about Alexander Cockburn: another elite to put on the my nobody list of people to columnistically punctuate at least once a year, around April.

Anything to waste time.

Nobody’s Perfect: I put off doing my taxes every year, because it really is disgusting how little we get back. It hardly seems worth the effort.

Nobody Knows: Alexander Cockburn is Irish. So, what did the clan of Cockburn do to earn its name? Burn a cock?

Nobody Cares; Has anyone else noticed but me, that almost all of the intellectuals, and elite university snobs, all have dirty and sometimes horrible teeth? It’s not like they don’t have the money to get nice teeth, or even brush them.

I once had a crush on my professor of Western Civilization in college. He had the worst teeth and the most horrible breathe: and after I kissed him, I figured I’d rather read a book, than suffer yukky kisses. I’ll never know what I missed--- but then again, neither will he.