Saturday, April 15, 2006

Shocking Myself on Good Friday

Nobody’s Opinion: It's hard to write about politics tonight when it's always the same old, same old. The Democrats always attacking the President…today it was Rumsfield. They've already got rid of Delay, who was not even protected by his own party. He was outraged about Dubai, as was any sane person. That did not go over I’m sure with President Bush.

Remember, the President was for the Dubai deal, much to everyone’s shock. He is also supporting giving amnesty to the illegal immigrants, much to everyone’s shock. He called the brave men and women who went to the border, the minutemen…vigilantes, much to everyone’s shock. He closed many of our sacred military bases, leaving the American people feeling very vulnerable, much to everyone’s shock. He says Bill Clinton has become a good friend to him, and a best friend to his dad, much to everyone’s’ shock.

He has scolded the American People for being addicted to oil, as if we were greedy little children, much to everyone’s shock. This is much like telling a wife that is being beaten by her husband that she deserved it. Same logic. It’s our fault we are addicted.

Guess that’s the new strategy. Blame the victim.

He has not vetoed one single pork bill, much to everyone’s shock. He has said nothing about the camera’s going up on every corner, much to everyone’s shock. He has said that immigrants are doing jobs that no one else will do, which is much like calling us a big, lazy, nation. It was the big, lazy people of this nation that came to the rescue of the Katrina victims, which was a shock to no one.

He gave the Medal of Freedom to Muhammad Ali, much to everyone’s shock. He and his father gave the most endearing speeches ever given to a dishonorable man at Bill Clinton’s Library opening much to everyone shock. After he captured Saddam and killed his sons, he seemed to just let the whole war in Iraq take its own course, much to everyone’s shock. He let China buy our ports in the Bahamas, much to everyone’s shock. When he saw how incompetent the Democrats were at helping those poor people in New Orleans after Katrina, he should have jumped in with bravado to save lives...but he didn’t, much to everyone’s shock.

He did nothing while Terry Shaivo starved to death, much to everyone’s shock and total shame.

He said nothing when the Supreme Court took away our constitutional right to eminent domain, which was almost unbelievable.

And the most shocking thing of all is that he has let the Democrats crucify him unmercifully, destroying him, and embarrassing him to the world. Ridiculing him on every turn---calling him a liar, a traitor, a murderer, and yet not a whisper from him. At his press conferences, unlike Clinton, who never took a tough question in his whole career, Bush takes one bashing question after another.

Twice he stuck up for himself…we all went WHAT? Hey! He’s back!

But he was only back for two days, and then he went back into submission.

When he was at Dr. King’s funeral, and one nasty Democrat after another made the most vicious comments degrading the whole event…he said nothing. He should have at least reprimanded the scumbags for doing this at Dr. King’s funeral. It was disrespectful of Dr. King, not just the President. But by now, we weren’t shocked, we were getting used to it.

Obviously, Bush is trying to emulate Jesus. Maybe he thinks it will get him reincarnated. Maybe he thinks if he emulates Jesus, and suffers all the abuse just like Jesus did he will be reincarnated and join the father in heaven. Thereby also getting glory in history.

What he forgets is that by turning the other check all the time he sacrifices us, the American people. Unlike Jesus, he is not saving us, he is hurting us with every silent action. Even Jesus stood up to the money lenders. Yes, we thought we were getting a different man.

One of the reasons I liked President Bush was because he wears his emotions on his sleeves. He actually had big tears in his eyes when he was being sworn in as President. Unlike Clinton, what you see is what you get. It’s obvious he cares deeply about people. He has always been Christ like in his tolerance for the world abuse. He has been extremely kind to people when he can get one on one. Once again, you don’t hear about this because he doesn’t blow his own horn.

Clinton used his dog for a photo-op. Poor Buddy. Bush truly loves his dog, he has trouble putting him down.

He is trying to be all things and tolerate all people.

He can see the evil in Iraq, Iran, and North Korea, but not the evil in his own country.

Obviously the merger with Mexico is not good for this country. He has no intention to stop it. If the reasons are that we need to merge because we need more people for the future war against China, or Iran, or whoever, then tell us.

If we need more people because America needs to compete against the globalizations of the rest of the world, then tell us.

Is Bush sacrificing the downing of American in the short run to save it in the long run?
Then, tell us.

Or do we need this merger simply because our big businesses like the big profits.

Just tell us. Instead of putting out these figures of all is well, go ahead, admit to the truth. It’s doing well for some, but worse for others. Tell us the truth, a service economy will not be able to compete with the rest of the world. Tell us we will no longer be the big dog on the block. Clinton has told us.

You just don’t want to tell us why…is that it?

All in all, we all wish that President Bush would do what God would want him to do. And that is to do the right thing. Fight the evil in this country.

Jesus has his place in the universe. No mortal man can be Jesus.

No, President Bush, instead of trying to emulate Jesus, should emulate George Washington, or Ronald Reagan.

Jesus didn’t expect us to be him, anymore that we can be God.

There must be a good man still in there …it soon will be Easter…can he be resurrected?

Come back to us George, we need a warrior…what good are we fighting overseas if we are being conquered from within?

It’s not too late…Jesus, we are told gave his life for the world.
Soldiers do this everyday. We should expect no less from a President.

Nobody’s Perfect; Hey, I’ll take this one tonight. I bought a whole pack of 98% fat-free devil food cakes, but I didn’t eat just one. There is now only three left out of nine. That’s why no one loses weight on the diet food. You tell yourself you can eat twice as much. The human mind is capable of this kind of great logic. I KNOW you have done this too. Admit it.

Nobody Knows: Who is going to get this nut in Iran first? I suggest we start broadcasting American Idol into the country. That will confuse them. Maybe Barbra Streisand could go over and give him a free concert. She might like it so much, she would stay. She could give her home in California to an illegal immigrant and redeem herself.

Well, have a happy Easter weekend everybody, see you on Monday.

Friday, April 14, 2006

The Global Mouse Trap

Nobody’s Opinion; “The rich are seldom remarkable for modesty, ingenuity, or humanity. Their wealth has rather a tendency to make them penurious and selfish.”--- John Adams

It’s really pathetic. I came THIS close () to winning the Powerball ticket today. The winning 224.2 million was sold at the quick shop that I buy coffee at. I happened to be not buying coffee this week. That’s how a nobody budgets.

But with 224.2 million I could have bought a house like Bill Gates, with over three hundred rooms, that will cater to your personality the moment you walk into them.

I guess Bill makes you fill out your favorite things on a laptop and then he presses the buttons, tags you with a chip, and gives you a map. Then he probably goes back into some secret room and watches you in a leather chair in front of 300 screens. You become Bill Gates’ little mouse in the maze.

If I walked into a room, the Microsoft logo that would be hanging on the wall would turn into some tropical beach, and on the speakers I would hear maybe some old Beatles or Ode to Joy. By now, I’m sure Bill has added smell…the smell of gardenias would come into the room. I would not make it out. Bill would be bored.

Which makes me wonder, what does Bill Gates listen to? Songs from India? "You’re So Vain"? Does he have pictures of Davos, Switzerland, with smells of burnt metal?

But, I slap myself because half of that 224.2 millions would be gone somewhere into the vast government hole. Well, then rightfully I should get 112 millions! I can handle that! No, wait---they actually don’t hand you that, because when you take the money, they tax it again, and now it’s down to 56 million, and I’m sure that doesn’t include state taxes, lawyer fees, accountant fees, needy relative fees, and psychiatrists bills.

The score; government 168 million. Nobody; 26 million.

Oprah makes more than that while jogging.

And it was MY dollar.

The Congress is a great CEO when it comes to making money. They don’t do much to earn it besides going to parties and making absurd comments on TV between vacations. But somehow they keep finding creative ways to get more.

I was thinking of CEOs tonight as I watched Jeffery Immelt, the Chairman and CEO of General Electric being interviewed by Charlie Rose. He just couldn’t wait to get into China and India’s pants. Globalization is the key! All those infrastructures to be built: all those environmental gadgets to be invented, all the jets for the rich Saudi’s---he was beyond himself in his own imagination. He was Buzz Light-year plugged into a wet socket! Get out of his way!

He was through with the America worker, as they all are. Because well…we’re stupid.

India and China have smarter people, not to mention cheaper. He has no hope for our now “service” economy. The soveingty of America makes no difference to this man, because he spends 60% of his time somewhere else.

All the big CEO’s feel the same way. Eric Schmidt of Google, Ivan Siedenburg of Verizon; all big globalists. They deal with the governments of the world now. They are their own countries, and our government does their bidding. The Globalization plan is to spread democracy so that they can go in and build the “infrastructures.”

America has been used up, and sucked out. We are like the leftover oyster shell. Oh sure, we can still buy their stuff. But the real money is in the rest of the world. They know we are not going to have any money to spend soon. Our middle class is disappearing. India has 300 million in its middle class. They think in terms of body counts.

Our politicians, both Democrats and Republicans are now just their brokers.

Meanwhile, down at the nobody ranch, we get to watch pictures like Broke the Back Mountain to keep us occupied, while the game of billion dollar company mergers get pushed off the news with endless stories of maudlin scandals.

We acquiesce to their enthusiasm; we resonate to their shouts of “It’s the free market system, stupid!”

It used to be in the game of capitalism that company mergers were a big no-no, because that of course is not fair to the consumer. Once upon a time, it was watched carefully by our elected officials.

Capitalism works best, like a country, when there are rules. Like a game of baseball, football, or any sport, if the referee only gives the point to one side, that’s not fair. In fact, in World Succor, it can cause vultures to appear.

So, the more mergers, the more the little entrepreneurs get shut out. The companies want your ideas to be theirs. No more Thomas Edison’s. No more Bill Gates.

That’s why the internet is being left alone at the moment. All the little guys are inventing it. It’s a work still in progress. That won’t last long.

Disney just went in and changed the copyright laws when Mickey’s time was up. After all, the market rules, remember?

So…capitalism without fair rules, morphs into socialism, which goes into communism, and then we are just like rats in the maze.

We will have to work hard to find a way out of this house, it’s already starting to smell.

And incredibly, just like Bill Gates house, they are setting up camera’s to watch us.

Nobody Cares; Jane Fonda is going to lead an anti-violence festival in New York. Selma Hayek, Marlo Thomas, and that ageless lady who couldn't make it as a playboy bunny, Gloria Steinem are going to help out. I'm sure it will be seen on al-Jazeera. Actually, it just might be what is needed to bring bin Laden out of his hole.

Nobody Knows; MTV is going to make a program mocking Jesus, the Pope, and Catholics. Not many people know that China's Presdent Hu Jintuo now owns MTV. (at least that's what I read) If any somebody out there can verify that this is true, please tell me. What a creative way to get America ready for the takeover!

Nobody's Perfect: President Bush today told Senate Democratic Leader Harry Reid that he was "thwarting the will of the American People." He did not have time to check the Zogby poll which claimed most people oppose it. (amnesty) Maybe the President forgot he was home from Mexico. He does travel an awful lot.

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Passover the Scrolls

Nobody’s Opinion: How fast we have gone in a few days. From the invasion of millions of toilet bowl cleaners from the South, (if you listen to Hillary) to Iran threatening to nuke the United States and Israel, backed with the blessings of Russia, China, Venezuela, and Cuba. All through this, Newt Gingrich sees the opportunity of a lifetime---so he attacks the President along with the Democrats, because he is going to run for President. And some story about the rape of a stripper is on all channels.

Today is Passover, and we have passed over nothing.

The Catholic Church is practically tripping over their robes to seek redemption for all their past scandals by saving the poor of Mexico. The Democrats are tripping over cameras to claim their conversion to Jesus and the poor, while at the same time doing everything they possibly can to keep all their organizations from the ACLU to the communist party to demonize (one of their favorite words) Christ.

Then a document that’s been in some vault since the 1970’s is now being revealed as the real story of Judas and Jesus. From this vault it made its way to Yale University, and National Geographic who went on to make about 40 TV programs just in time for this upcoming Easter, to teach you to “rethink” your devotion to that fictional man called Jesus.

After all, they rewrite history every day. They are very good at it.

Like the bad news that always goes out on a Friday, they picked just the right time to “release” important new discoveries that have been around for decades. Right.

Only the biggest discovery since spell-check and all reporters on the earth for over thirty-six years decided to let the story wait.

There is more to this text besides Jesus and Judas. There are aliens in the text, but you might hear about that part on FOX.

According to this text, the original sin was when giant aliens came down out of their spaceships and starting having sex with the women on earth. They also liked to eat people, probably with some kind of alien ketchup.

God was not happy with this, so he flooded the earth.

Sometimes in life, what you see may not be real. What you hear may not be real either.

Maybe the politicians we see every day on our TV are really descendents from these aliens. The President is waiting for Jesus to help him. Bill Clinton is waiting for Judas.

I remember at the funeral of the last Pope, Clinton and Bush were having so much fun. You would have thought they were old friends on a golf course.

I was thinking at the time, “What’s wrong with this picture?”

I’m saying it now, “What’s wrong with this picture?”

You can’t believe anything anymore, or believe what’s real or what’s not, because history, facts and fiction are being rewritten daily.

The way things are going, we really might see a spaceship come down, and Clinton will introduce the first alien to visit earth, who will be red with horns and a long tale. After all, Nostradamus was not the only prophet.

This text you will be hearing about all this week on the news, with Jesus and Judas, was part of the Dead Sea Scrolls, which also had some other fun stories.

Like an earth woman giving birth to a child about as tall as a five-story house, who was fathered by one of these “angel” giants, who ate people.

Why they just didn’t play basketball was beyond me.

And with Iran getting all heated up to start WWIII, it might be a good thing if they returned and ate a few Iranians.

Also, the story of the gold from the sacred temple of Jerusalem was also in this cave where the Dead Sea Scrolls wer found…the Scrolls gave directions to it.

So far, no one has claimed they found it yet.

There is one point that you definitely won’t hear…Jesus accordingly said to Judas; “In the last day, they will curse your ascent.”

Hey, I’m cursing now.

Some experts on religious scrolls think this scroll is a decoy.

Some nobody thinks this story is a decoy, because in the real world
It’s the real saints and devils who want you to passover the truth.

Nobody’s Perfect; Seems Brittany Spears, the woman who likes to drive with her baby in her lap, has admitted that her baby got dropped by his nanny. It’s nice to know that Brittany wants to keep her stellar reputation for being a sensible adult up-to-par.

Nobody’s Knows: If the chicken flu is being used as a tool to get rid of all the small chicken farms in the world, in order for the big companies to have a monopoly. I think I’ll buy a few and put them in the back yard.

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

God Has Plans For You To Purchase This Book

God Has Plans For You to Purchase This Book

Nobody’s Opinion: I’m sure God gets a kick out of me, because I like to pretend I’m him sometimes, especially, when I’m on a plane and get to ride in the window seat. It’s so easy to pretend your God up there…looking down on all those little tiny moving cars. Anyway, I think I know what God was thinking when he made Doug Powers.

“He was thinking…those poor people down there are having such stressed-out lives. It’s about time they got a little relief…they have no clue why the world is so absurd: Why their leaders lie, cheat, and steal; why they have to work so hard just to be able to splurge for pizza on Friday night; why they must tolerate Madonna, Yoko Ono, Sponge Bob, Paris Hilton, presidential libraries, Super-Bowl half-time, taxes, long division, bad instructions, campaign slogans, colonoscopies, massive snow shoveling, and those damn pesky questions that all kids ask their parents that of course have no answers…Doug must write them a book.”

So he did. It’s called, “Because That’s the Way God Decided to Do It!”

I’m not one to question God. So I read it.

Now, we all remember our dads answering our dumb and annoying questions of “Why?” with “Because I said so.”

No, Doug has figured out a way for all fathers on the planet to put a little more punch and finality into any answer he can come up with, which is where his genius comes in.

Doug answers. “Because that’s the Way God Decided to Do It!”

Fathers everywhere will be thanking Doug forever for this much improved version because every kid will know that dad has a direct line to God. That old line “Because I said so,” only builds resentment and anger. Many a kid sabotaged mowing the lawn and taking out the trash with these words running through their heads.

In fact, these words can be so traumatic that years later, some of them drop out of school and play video games like “Hitman” all day with the words “Because I said so.” running over and over again in their cerebral cortex.

Doug’s answer will stop this. “Because that’s the way God decided to do it.” will be handed down from generation to generation and the world will be a better place.

Of course God knew this. He really is clever.

What I can’t figure out (one of God’s little mysteries; he does so like to mess with us) is: How in the world a comedy writer managed to create a work of art?

Let me explain; In most novels and theatrical productions, you start out, introduce the characters, move along the story, and then, SLAM… the BIG ending comes in. Everyone likes this.

Somehow Doug manages to take you from the first chapter…and then just when you think he can’t top that chapter…he does it again and again, each chapter taking you to the crescendo…and Voila! One is funnier than the next! It’s Beethoven’s Ode to Joy!


Doug is like a Dave Barry punched up, and there is absolutely no writer alive that can put the perfect comedic observation at just the right moment, like Doug. In fact, on his website everyday, (www.t he never disappoints with this talent no matter what the subject is.

For example;

“Some environmentalists tell us that the ozone layer is now full of so many holes that it used to be mistaken for Robert Blake’s alibis.”

“Every time I see William Shatner I can only think that somebody somewhere is missing a toilet seat cover.”

How he comes up with this stuff…God only knows.

And then, there are many life’s lessons for us to use like:

“People who write instructions do it for legal protection, and not your protection.”
“For every action there’s an equal but opposite lawsuit.”

Yes, you will laugh, the stress will lift, and you will discover through the pages a man who has a great passion not only for his family and life, but a whole lot of good common sense that you can use when things just get too absurd.

Doug may not have all the answers, but he will always be there to answer the questions with expedient hilarity.

If you need a release from this crazy world you will go out and get this book, and hand it down to your kids because…

Well, that’s the way God planned it.

Nobody Knows; Just why Richard Clarke, Clinoton's old buddy, was consulting with Sheikh Mohammed bin Zayed and selling weapons to him like F-16's. It really makes you feel secure that an old general of America is selling our planes to the country that produced the men that flew planes into the world trade center. I'm certainly glad that the highest structure around here is my local library.

Nobody Cares; Quite a few immigrants were fired from their meat packing jobs in Detriot when they went to one of the protest rallies. The boss told them they would be fired if they went, and they did. Now, they are trying to find pity for this horrible unjustice from the local community. Some of them are illegal, and have many children to raise. As we used to say..."here's a quarter."

Nobody Wins; Bill Clinton is now starting to help Hillary's run for the Presidency by suggesting that a man named Huckabee from Arkansas run against her on the Republican ticket. One wonders just what ol' Huckabee did for Bill in Arkansas. Anyway, he knows no one is going to want to hear...and now...President Huckabee. I think Bill is maybe losing his touch.

Nobody's Perfect: Today it was released that blacks and Hispanics cannot pass the math tests to become a cop in Washington D.C. White guys can pass it. Of course this is blatent discrimination. The last thing they need in D.C. is cops that can actually count how many bags of Cocaine the mayor can snort in one day. So therefore, all the men that actually failed the test will be hired in mass, and some of those white guys will just have to go work for private companies.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Go Ahead...Take Our Country.

Go Ahead…Take Our Country.

Nobody’s Opinion:

Having searched the various conservative websites for comments on this “historical day of immigrant justice” as Jamie Contreras, the National Capital Immigration Coalition President said, I found just a few.


America is being invaded and most of the TV networks act as if it’s just another crisis, like a tornado’s touching down on a spring day. We’ll get over it. Don’t make too big of a deal out of it. Right.

You’re house is burning down, but don’t be too concerned. You will still be alive.

Our leaders do not work or represent the American people anymore. They are playing on a power stage of international chess, where America no longer comes first to them. The American people should have marched on Washington long ago.

But, we have been carefully kept in control. If fact, we have been idiots.

We are the frogs in the boiling water, and we are so cooked our legs are stretched out stiff, and our mouths are open, powerless to let out one more scream before sleep.

Like a bad dream where you can’t wake up…we are paralyzed.

Today---John Kerry of the Democratic Party which helped organize this unprecedented gathering along with communist’s organizations, have told us that “We are a nation of immigrants.” Wow, really John?

Was that the idea of New Orleans---make some room? Move some people around like chess pieces?

Our President is agreeing with the invasion. He has been for it all along. Every day he has been on TV pleading for this amnesty… (Which isn’t.) The Democrats are saying he is against it, and saying some really nasty things, and despite his public record for wanting the Senate to pass the “road to citizenship,” the Democrats are STILL blaming him. They also blame him for global warming, 9/11, Monica’s stain, and for having the gall to show up at Martin Luther Kings’ Funeral.

We are told over and over how they do the jobs that Americans won’t do. Like grunts in the army, they have to break us down, and then teach us to love the Mexicans.

Hollywood will have a whole new market. White boys and Spanish boys fall in love in Burrito Valley.

The hard reality is the border was removed for the purpose of our big companies to put factories in Mexico, the politicians and the big CEO’s wanted the cheap labor. NAFTA was pushed. We were having a hard enough time with Japan and China. Thanks guys.

They’ve been telling us that only 2 percent of the people here are rich. Wow, that means each rich person employs about 100,000 Mexicans a piece to water their lawn, and fix their pools.

The Mexicans have been very quiet until this day. Amazing.

This big rally has been planned for years. When you see a black man holding a American flag while hugging an illegal alien who is holding a Mexican Flag, and both are saying they want complete open borders from Canada to the tip of South America, you can be sure there were pretty big bucks put in those back pockets.

No President Republican or Democrat in the last decade has protected our borders. We trusted our leaders…and since they know that we would not want the border to disappear, they told us it would be good for trade. We were not told the plans. We didn’t need to know. They told themselves it was good for business.

They are pushing this down our throats, and it’s horrible.

We are not the first country to be destroyed by traitors from within. In fact, we are such a great nation that only our own people could take us down. Like the blacks in Africa who sold their own people into slavery. Or the various Indian tribes that helped Americans attack other Indian tribes. And Rome…don’t even go there.

Yesterday, we saw reality, Mexicans carrying their Mexicans flags. The American people were outraged. So by some miracle…or clever camera shots, today we saw millions of American flags. They were given phrases to chant like USA! USA!… millions were told exactly what to do, so that the good hearted American people will let them come in and take over their country. We will go “ah...they want to be like us... How nice…go ahead, let them stay.”

Do you actually think they will learn English? Do you actually think they want to become Americans? Do you actually think you will retire before you are 85?

Come on…are we so stupid that we can’t see a planned and controlled invasion with the help of our very own government?

Where is the anger?

I can’t write anymore tonight. I’m stumbling…I want to go to sleep and pretend this isn’t happening. The downfall of this great country, if not roused to action, is inevitable.

Damn them all.