Saturday, July 11, 2009

Nobody But Shai Wins With the Electric Car

Nobody Wins: I don’t know about you, but I’m not particularly fond of batteries. It doesn’t matter what you use them for, the two strikes against them is that they NEVER last very long, and they’re much too expensive for the little time that they last. I don’t care if they are AA, AAA, or computer---daily, and minute by minute all over the planet there is someone’s whose cell phone battery has run down, and they have to wait till they get home to charge it back up.


Personally, sometimes I wonder if they make these batteries bad on purpose. I remember when Edison invented the light bulb, he could make them burn for a year, but…of course, that would not make much money, so now, they have a definite shelf life of at least…a few days. Electric cars are coming our way, and what we are now experiencing in all our other battery run products will be multiplied one hundred fold when cars run on batteries.

Therefore, here’s my nobody suggestion: Everyone should carry a mule or ox, …or horse in the front seat of your car…just in case your battery runs out, because, I hate to be the one to tell you this--- there is a new man on the block---Shai Agassi.

Yes, at only 41, Shai is the man who will electrify the world. Not too long ago Shai belonged to some nifty company that was making electric cars but nobody wanted them. But, have no fear---Shai met Bill Clinton, and Bill changed his whole line of thinking.

The only way to get his baby on the market was to have all governments mandate that gas cars had to go and thanks to Bill Clinton, Shai quit his old job and pitched his idea to Israeli President Shimon Peres. His (and Bill’s) suggestion was to have the government create an agency to make it happen, not as a company but as an arm of the government.

Original thinking.

Shai was born in Iraq, but is a Jew. ( I know...) Israel wants to go to electric cars, which is fine for a country that is only nine miles wide. But in America, the electric car, which in all practicality won’t be developed as any kind of improvement for years, will end up being just another way to control the movement of all society, and shift all workers to back into their homes…or a job at their local fast food restaurant.

They are already building us all bicycle paths, where people will be on those "people movers" that you see the fat cops riding at the malls.

I can't wait.

But…like the old saying…one man’s country is another man’s cigar box.

America is not going to shrink in miles anytime soon, despite the efforts of Al Gore. It may be really nice to go around the tiny countries of Europe in those nice Harry Potter trains, but here in America, we now have dogs, that get really neurotic if you leave them in “kennels.”
Therefore, we need our cars to not stop in the middle of nowhere. Anyone who's ever been trapped in a car with a dog and kids will tell you that.

And SINCE it take a half hour at least to charge a cell phone, how long is it going to take you to charge that car battery when you’re at a “battery recharge” station and your due at your work in ten minutes? That's a sure way to cut down on the work day!

And will this place have clean bathrooms? Just flu will multiply.

And since our little tiny AA batteries cost an arm and two fingers, how much is recharging those big car batteries going to cost?

You do not hear them discussing this in Congress. In fact, you do not hear them discussing much except the minutes leading up to the next lunch break.

Edison once tried to invent electric cars. There was a reason he stopped.

Shai’s going to have a problem designing that front-seat. But look on the good side, many men will be quite happy saying to their wives, "Sorry honey, you're going to have to sit in the back."

As for me...I'm going to train American Eskimos' to pull my sledge for the upcoming global warming ice age, they can keep thier electric cars.

I'll be ready. In fact, I just might go up to Alaska and say "Hey there Sarah! How's the fishing?"


Friday, July 10, 2009

Nobody Is Too Holy for the Pope

Nobody Knows: Let's sing!!!
"Imagine there's no Queens or's easy if you try"
"No Presidents or Popes to Rule Us...above us only sky."
"Imagine all the people, living without all their!" might say, I'm a dreamer...but I'm not the only one."
"I hope someday they're all disappear, and the world can go back to having fun!"
Insert Guitar solo in background while you're reading:
Nobody thought Michelle was doing her best imitation of a Muslim women in this picture until I googled the proper attire for visiting women to the Pope...and yes, it's black, with a black veil...just like a Muslim woman.
So, how can the Pope tell if the woman visiting him is Muslim or Catholic? Something tells me, the Pope could care less...and the fact that he is so wonderfully friendly with a man who is giving out billions of dollars of hard taxpayers money, in order for millions of abortions to be performed with Obama's blessing, shows to me just how hypocritical the Catholic religion really is. Gee...if you think I'm being too tough, ask yourself...what would Jesus do? Would Jesus hand him a book on ethics?
"Imagine there's no Pelosi, it isn't hard to do"
"No Barney, Reid, or Biden, and no Bill Clinton too.."
Imagine all the people, driving their big cars in""" may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one"
"I hope someday you'll get fed up...and get yourself a gun.."
Wait...I didn't meant that we should all go out shooting, I just thought "gun" would go best with "one" and, by the way, gun sales are way up! I'm just saying! You could be living in OHIO!
Piano solo here; Nobody reports that Prince Charles today announced that even though he had no plans to get rid of all the stuff in his seventeen Castles and various yachts and planes...the rest of us had to quit being capitalistic, and buying stuff, or we would destroy the planet in exactly 96 months.
I plan to do it in 95, once I clean out my basement.
So, as you see in this picture, I think we should just start putting our plastic cups girls, between our order to save it for the next time we need a drink. DO NOT THROW AWAY THOSE PAPER CUPS! REUSE THEM!
Yes, the People should wear the crowns...we should rule. We should be king.
"You may say I'm a dreamer...but I'm not the only one."
Someday soon they'll come and get me...and I will throw away cup."
You know what? Nobody is too holy for the Pope.


Thursday, July 09, 2009

Nobody Explains Without Saying a Word.

Nobody Wins: I was going to write a long piece on the cap and trade bill that Congress passed not too long ago, and what it would mean for the American people and future generations...
But, I think this picture says it all, in fact, I have nothing to add, except maybe add some mud and rain to the picture.
My apologises to Chris at Townhall. I just couldn't help my nobody self.


Tuesday, July 07, 2009

A Funeral Fit to Die For

Nobody’s Perfect: I admit…I lead a worthless life. I was home today and watched the whole MJ funeral. (Yes, that’s what those that love him evidently called him.) I’ll find any excuse not to clean house.

And here, in random order, are various feelings and memories from the day…if you watched it and didn’t come away with the same feelings, well, Nobody’s Perfect.

1. It was a black funeral. How did I know that? Because every black person talked about how Michael raised the blacks from the tyranny of the white race. In fact, according to Jesse Jackson, the whole planet gets along now because of him. The globe they kept showing was of Africa. But still…where was Oprah? Whoopi?

2. His brothers were a riot. They all had Michael’s sequined glove on…and why all those grown men would wear the same outfit, and look as if they were right out of some old gangster’s movie, I could not figure out…except they thought we’d all like to see them go on tour. Michael…you definitely made the right move getting away from them.

3. There were two rival family camps: Joe Jackson’s camp, with all the brothers. and the “grandmother’s” camp (where the kids were). Whenever someone got off the stage they either ran to Joe, or the grandmother… who, even though she has the kids, will have to answer to the trustees for the money. At least Michael was smart enough to do that.

4. Joe Jackson…could now run for Congress, he’d fit right in.

5. Mariah Carey really did a great job, but she needs to watch that right hand, when she sings…it just goes up and down, and up and down, and up and down…and up and down…really Mariah, get a grip on that thing. Maybe get a velvet glove filled with lead.

6. They could have left Sheila Jackson, Jesse Jackson, and Queene Latifah at home, Sheila was running for another term, and maybe the next President: Jesse Jackson got lost in “We Are the World,” he didn’t know the words, and Queen Latifah, read a poem, and needs a job on MSNBC. Someone give her one for God’s sake.

7. The ONLY two highlights in my opinion were Stevie Wonder’s two great songs, (which were two of my personal favorites) and Brooke Shields…wait, there was a white kid who sang pretty good…but everything got really boring at the end, when the universal love message came through. Enough. Quit the torture, really. I don't WANT to get along with the rest of the world.

8. Brooke was the ONLY one at the funeral who gave a great eulogy, from the heart, and extremely eloquent. Neither the brothers, nor any one else, said anything about Michael as a person. Everyone was seeing the money but her. She was outstanding.

9. Except---one of the brothers told a story about seeing an old man in a record shop in disguise and his brother went up to him and said “What are you doing here?” And Michael said, “How did you know it was me?” And the answer was…his shoes. That was not scripted, it was actually good.

The ending was bad---horrible actually.

I’m sorry, putting that poor little girl Paris, up on stage at the end… (Jackson’s adopted daughter) and seeing Janet Jackson pushing the mike into her face and telling her to speak up, was just a bit too much to bear. Jackie Kennedy pulled that “use the children for effect” trick off with little John Jr, but at the time he was only a baby and had no idea the gravity of what had happened, unlike Paris who was in unbearable pain.

Paris Jackson was being used as a ploy to get the whole world to forgive Michael for all his alleged wrongdoings…and she was old enough to know that he was dead. Really, that right there was as tasteless, and crash an action as it gets.

It’s all about the money, isn’t it?

It’s got to bug them all that Michael left his estate to three adopted kids, instead of the family. In all fairness, they all had to watch Michael’s success and what did they do? Did they get into other fields? Anyone, besides La Toya?

Janet Jackson's nose has gotten so small, she looked like she had a pea with holes on her face. Now, she just needs to get rid of the boobs.

And while Magic Johnson’s Kentucky Fried Chicken story was funny to many, I thought…okay, does Magic have stock in Kentucky Fried Chicken? Does he own a few chains? What?

You know, black people are always thinking white people make fun of them…eating KFC and watermelon. It’s a stereotype, much like Billy Bob having guns and pickup trucks. It’s an old racial thing from who knows when, and I thought it strange that he should bring it up at the funeral…a real surreal moment in history.

Michael wasn’t eating too much KFC before he died, obviously.

At the end of the day, I was truly sad. Mostly because I grew up with so much great music…and now, music has taken a back road to politics…Stevie Wonder brought that home. Music lifts you up…politics, at this moment in time, is a heavy burden to face on most days. And when you write about politics, it’s hard to find anything uplifting…only humor--- but so much of what’s happening, isn’t funny. It reminded me how I was so much happier when my life evolved around music. Is it any wonder that humanity idolizes singers?

Artists that can truly touch the soul…those people are rare. And now, with the change in the industry, and the politicians trying to get rid of copyrights and patents, that kind of artist might forever be a thing of the past.

Michael Jackson would never have become a star on YouTube. And he would have never become a world wide celebrity had he been born anywhere but here…

That horrible prejudice place called America…the land of bleeding hearts.

Quick...somebody send me a band-aid.


Monday, July 06, 2009

The Thrill of the Ghoul: Peter G. Peterson

Nobody’s Opinion: While the maggots of opportunistic harpies of entertainment and media complex race to Los Angeles to suck the final few billion out of Michael Jackson’s dead nose, here is a guy we should be paying close attention to instead. A man who is going to influence much more of our lives than any lost Michael Jackson songs.

Peter G. Peterson.

He looks like a nice old grandfather, doesn’t he? Imagine the creepiest ghoul out of the Thriller video, and you’ve come pretty close to the real man…at least that’s my opinion.

Now, I know that everyone scoffs at the, “there are a few men in the world running everything” scenario, but if you want to get into details and facts…just read his biography on Wikipedia. This guy was always in the right places: From the University of Chicago Business School, to Secretary of Commerce, to the Head of the Council of Foreign Relations, to the CEO of Lehman Brothers, to the CEO of Blackstone---he is, according to his own assessments (like the Bushes) one of the last Rockefeller Republicans standing. His wife is co-founder of Sesame Street.

You might want to watch that program to make sure Big Bird isn’t telling you’re children that if they eat that chocolate-chip cookie instead of giving it away, they are bad.

How one man could hold so many important jobs, in just one lifetime, should tell you something.

Peterson was on Charlie Rose last week, and after admitting that he had once been the Chairman of the Federal Reserve (something that is not mentioned on Wikipedia) he wanted to make sure to connect with the audience, so he started talking about what we all know…the government is too far in debt…by the trillions. Why, we are doomed to fail…all the great countries that got into too much debt…failed. England Spain…Rome…all collapsed due to huge deficits.

He’s concerned.

Okay, he started out good. But, if you want to know why Jesus said that it’s very hard for a rich man to get into heaven, you just had to keep listening.

Yes, according to the dear old guy, the middle classes are going to have to sacrifice every single thing…BIG TIME. And to show you just how benevolent he is, he has taken some of his billions and starting a foundation…a foundation dedicated to spreading the word about what us little people should shell out (in our lives and taxes) to save the United States. On top of that he wants us to admire him for it.

What a guy. He can now join Bill Gates and Warren Buffet, who also (in order to protect their great wealth) put all their billions into tax protected foundations, for humanitarian projects. Of course, they have full control on how to spend that money…and when.

And if you believe that these men did this noble thing to save humanity instead of their own vast fortunes, then I have Michal Jackson’s other glove to sell you.

Really, the more I listened to this guy, the more I wanted to slap him. His condescending attitude toward all the innocent people who are losing jobs, educations, food, and struggling day to day was almost like hearing “Beat It” non-stop for 24 hours.

Peterson is all for Universal Health Care, but he realizes that they will have to put it in slowly. (Darn it.) When Charlie told him that it was rationing, he had the audacity to say that to be upset about rationing, was silly. “What isn’t rationed?” he said.

Gee, Mr. Peterson…was your water rationed yesterday? You poor man.

Somehow, I had a lot of trouble imagining this Mr. Peterson being told that he couldn’t have that heart transplant, because he was too old.

What’s bad is our government is full of these men, these unelected men of business and great power, who go back and forth from cushy government jobs, and sit on boards of huge multinational corporations, and have orchestrated this whole mess, in order to control and put the big money in a few hands.

Regular Russian Czars.

I’ll tell you what---Michael Jackson, no matter how insane, was a real doll compared to this thriller of a killer of a ghoul of a man.

I’d wish he take the nearest moon walk to Mars.

No wonder Sarah Palin wanted out.


Sunday, July 05, 2009

Nobody Knows Who's Stalking

Nobody Knows:
D.C. Mayor-- Marion Barry was found sitting outside, on my front porch, over the weekend...
And I have have NO idea why my neighbors did not call the police.