Saturday, May 06, 2006

The Mayo Highway: Democrats Rushing to Vote

Nobody’s Opinion; Everybody today was talking about poor Representative Patrick Kennedy. One reporter that went to school with him was saying how he was just the “nicest” guy you’d ever want to meet, the sweetest person around.

Sure, we’d love to meet him, but the lesson here is: don’t ever get in a car with a Kennedy, unless of course you’re an Islamic fanatic that want's to blow the world up.

We’ll make an exception to you.

In fact, if the Kennedy’s want to stop torture, I suggest we get the worst of the Islamic prisoners out of Guantanamo Bay, bring them up to the Kennedy compound, and handcuff them to all the Kennedy’ cars.

It’s one thing to be from a highly neurotic and dysfunctional family. It’s another thing to lie about it, and consider that it’s your privilege to lie, because you don’t have to go to jail or get arrested---you’re special.

He won’t admit to being drunk…but he’ll go away to the Mayo Clinic for a couple of days, and then go hide somewhere for two weeks and play golf, while we have to be bombarded with show after stupid show on painkiller addiction, sleeping pill addiction, depression, the effects of Ambien on clueless and rich Patrick, and most importantly, what a brave, brave man he is for coming out and going into a clinic. I’m already nauseated just thinking about it.

He’d been to the clinics before. It didn’t take. A couple of weeks ago he said a hammerhead shark jumped up and hit him. Guess he was asleep while he was reeling him in. Painkillers were making him numb to the attack. He didn’t feel a thing.

Painkillers? Why was he in pain? Couldn’t get the radio off Rush Limbaugh?

First it was painkillers, and then it was sleeping pills. The cover up was having trouble covering itself up. At least he didn’t try to catch a football skiing down a mountain, and for that redeeming redemption he is not going to quit his job as your representative because he is fighting for YOU…sound familiar?

He did manage to miss the police car, and he didn’t kill anyone, so in that respect he is either luckier than or not as good as the rest of the Kennedy clan at picking up women. According to the police report, which doesn’t exist, he was depressed and intoxicated on Ambien. Please. Ambien mixed with several gallons of Louis XIV.

Oh…we’re not supposed to speculate you say? He could be telling the truth you say? Well, if he was telling the truth, then he has no addiction and there would be no need for him to go to the Mayo clinic. He just doesn’t want the police record and the DWI. We all know that, yet we are suppose to play along, because we are just nobody’s

And if he is bi-polar, than he would be on something different than Ambien.

When are these politicians going to learn that if they would just tell the truth, they would be in a lot less trouble?

Like “I really did have sex with that Monica Lewinsky. Lots of times. I’m sorry. Hillary and I just got married to be Presidents. She knows I mess around and could care less.”

Or “Yes, I was drunk, I always feel like drinking. My whole family drinks. We’re a family of alcoholics and drug addicts, but we still get the work done for the progressive party.”

Or “I am bi-polar and I shouldn’t have been drinking. I should have had my lights on. I was not going to vote like I said initially. I am going to get help right away. And by the way, my father should come with me.”

He would probably be able to run for President.

Of course, more than one person noted that with a father like Ted Kennedy, you had to feel sorry for him. His father couldn’t remember running his car off the road either,
But he never went into the Mayo Clinic. No, Ted had such a great P.R. team; he actually had some people at the time feeling sorry for him.

Some people felt sorry for Moussaoui.

This feeling sorry for people is getting old. Especially when they tell bold-face lies to our faces, and defy our intelligence. The biggest mistake Patrick made was taking his lawyer’s advice and saying “I did not ask for special consideration.”

Well of course he didn’t--he didn’t have to. His father is one of the most powerful senators ever to reign in the country, and he’s a complete wack-o, and has hurt America so badly he should be deported to Castro. Anyone with any sense knows that. Yet, he stays in power, and gets his son elected and put on the House Appropriations committee… the committee that decides how to divide and spend all the taxes they take out of our pockets daily. Not a committee that you will see on C-Span anytime soon.

Well, now that I’ve picked on the poor boy, if he does suffer from depression, I hope he gets better before he kills himself. Even the rich can suffer terribly.

But, being depressed doesn’t excuse him from being an elite, privileged and spoiled kid of a powerful United States Senator and above the law.

And that’s the trouble with our country. Every single one of those guys in Washington D.C. is above the law…and they know it. They fixed the rules.

And they know there is nothing we can do about it.

Nobody’s Perfect; Condoleezza Rice taught a class at Stanford called, “The Politics of the Elites.” Now that she is one of the elites, she has forgotten all her lectures.

Nobody Wins; The Bush administration seems to be playing good cop, bad cop. When asked about the singing of the national anthem in Spanish President Bush said everyone should learn it in English. Good cop.

Then Condoleezza Rice said she saw nothing wrong with people singing it in Spanish and Laura Bush agreed. Bad Cops. (Actually President has sung it in Spanish to win votes.) Another way to please all the people all of the time.

Nobody Cares; China can make rain. It has been fooling with the weather for years. Nobody seems to care what this actually means. The Chinese will just hit us with tornadoes and hurricanes. Hey, you think they haven’t thought about it? Do you think we haven't either?

Nobody Knows; Fidel Castro is secretly in love with Queen Elizabeth. (Just kidding) It’s really late, and I can’t remember actually getting out of bed, and coming to turn on the computer. I plan to admit myself into the neighborhood clinic for memory rehabilitation tomorrow, right after I take some Ambien.

Thursday, May 04, 2006

Bird Flu Friday

Nobody’s Opinion: Somewhere a bird has the flu. Poor thing. I meant to be concerned about this, I was suppose to be planning my eminently horrible death from a life cut short by someone that I might just pass on the street, but I’m finding it hard to get myself going.

I need to get with the plan. Stock up on anti-bacterial soap, gas masks, probably some duck tape, lots of food, candy, orange juice, gloves, a bio-suit, twenty pounds of vitamin C, 80 packages of cough drops, and a big gun.

I’m not ready yet.

And neither are our hospitals, says our government. Gee, when did they discover that little secret?

For the last ten years, there is usually at least a 10-hour waiting period in any hospital emergency around here. Unless you have a gunshot wound in the head, you wait in line. The gunshots are usually from an inner city gang-fight. It’s important that the news tells the public just how fast that hospital took care of that “minority.” Being sued is their primary concern. That gang leader goes to the head of the line. The scumbag drug dealer lives, the person who might have the bird flu, will die. And if you just have a fracture you will still be there the next day.

God forbid it’s a Friday, because then you’re chances of dying will triple.

There are no doctors in any hospitals on Friday. They always take the weekend off. But, the hospital reassured you they are on call. Not much help in heart attacks or strokes, but they say it so convincingly.

They have advertising on TV telling you that every minute counts. Every minute that goes by in a stroke situation, there is brain damage. Get to the hospital fast.

I followed all the right moves when my mother had a stroke. She managed to make it down the hall, I saw that she couldn’t talk, I called the medics, and they were there in three minutes.

But, we got out into the ambulance and sat in the driveway.

Well…let’s go!” I said.

“We can’t. They just had a gunshot wound. They are crowded, they can’t take us, and we have to wait twenty minutes.”

Then let’s just drive!”

“Sorry, no sense in that, they’ll call us.”

So we sat in the driveway for over 25 minutes until the hospital decided they would take us. It took another fifteen minutes to get there. Of course the hemorrhaging was so severe, she was left paralyzed. Six month later she died.

Same thing happened to my father. He had a stroke on a Friday. There were no doctors; he was put in a room to bleed in his head until a doctor came in on Monday.

The moral is, our hospitals are in shambles. If you do not have a top doctor who plays golf with the administrator, your visit to your local hospital might just be a stair-way to heaven.

The government knows this. And because of the mess the government has made of our health system, your best bet for long life is to stay as far away as possible from a hospital.

Pneumonia’s favorite hangout is hospitals. And if there ever is a “bird flu” pandemic you can be sure, the best place to pick it up will be there. You will get both, almost guaranteed.

Our government cares so much about the American people that they have already made huge stockpiles of bird-flu vaccines, even though it’s not really in existence yet. They have just released a 227-page book on what they are going to do to you if they (being our benevolent and loving leaders) find out that you have the bird flu, and are holding out on them. They will put you under surveillance. (I thought we already were?)

The leaders say that 85% of the security vital to keeping the society functioning is in the hands of the private sector. Face it, the only thing the government does well is train the military and take our money.

They tell us that there will be tremendous chaos when it hits. They even made a movie for us to watch to condition us to be afraid. Millions will die on the freeways. The National Guard will be out to make sure that the illegal immigrants will not be obstructed from having their rights to come over the border stopped by any vigilante.

They have already asked other countries to take over printing our money, which they can do with the “enter” key.

President Bush will make a call to Switzerland:
“Yes, this is President Bush. I will need about 800 trillion dollars printed, all my people are sick over here, the taxes are not up to par, and we had to shut the government down. The Congress is crying out for their checks, they need more stuff in the bunkers.”

“Yes, sir, it’s being sent to you now online, all we need is your password.”

“Password; The Divinci Code.”

President Bush wants 7.1 billion now, because they’ve already got tibs on half of it for something else. But, we are not in a position to-- “have to know.”

Personally, I have never seen such a scare job since that guy told us twenty years ago that the population of the earth would be so enormous by the year 2000, Armageddon would come and we would all starve. Bet he’s disappointed.

This vaccine thing is starting to get to me though. They have been trying to vaccine everyone for years now. And I don’t think it’s for our own good.

So, my suggestion is…if there is such a thing as the bird flu and if this chaos comes, and you think you have it, head south to Mexico.

They have cock fighting down in Mexico. They have been living so long with chickens they have bird flu immunity.

They must have, our government is not scared of infected Mexicans, just Americans.

Anyway, sitting at the poolside having a drink in Cancun beats sitting in an emergency room waiting for your shot to die any day. You might even see Ted Kennedy, sitting across from you.

Then you can call him a “chicken.”

Nobody’s Perfect; Some people in Tennessee have actually come out to draft Hillary for President. They are selling her chocolate chip cookies from her own recipe. What they don’t know is, that recipe is from her college days with Bill, and is loaded with some stuff from Mexico, and laced with a mind control, which makes anyone who eats it thinks it was Hillary who saved the country when Bill was messing around. “Stand By Your Man” will be the song they play at all her rallies in Nashville. Look out for cookie crumbs

Nobody Cares; some people are worried that there will be prostitution trafficking in Germany during the World Cup event. Nobody cares because prostitution is legal in Germany. They will have to bring in more girls to keep up with the demand of all the civilized European men, who think they are so superior to the United States. No wonder they make us give so much money to aids.

Nobody Knows: Why Madeline Albright is saying that Clinton was never offered bin Laden by Sudan, when he admitted it in a taped interview. Just remember, if Hillary becomes President, this lady will get back into a cabinet post, and you will have three chickens in the White House.

Will This Man Win The Nobel Peace Prize?

Who is this guy? Why does he look so fuzzy? Is it Santa Claus? Is it a professor from Harvard? Could it be the CEO of the Rockefellar Foundation?

Obviously he is an old rich guy. He has nice hair, and a nice suit. And he is making the peace sign, which must mean he believes in peace. Or does he? Is he running for office?

Is this man related to Tim Robbins, the actor? Read on to find out how these two men think the world is really messed up and have all the answers, and why they make the same sign.

Does a Nobody actually manage to get an interview with Tim Robbins? Will Tim ask his wife Susan to come over to Greece to see him? Will she be able to get away from Hillary?

Do either of these men ever suffer from anxiety? Are they closet Muslims?
Hey, some things you will just have to find out for yourself. But, I will tell you a few opinions;

Karl & Tim Send You A Peace

Nobody’s Opinion: Don’t ask me why I did it. I think it was because I could not get Tim Robbins out of my mind today. He is over in Athens, Greece, and putting on a play about 1984, which he intends to make into a movie. This “thought” sat in my brain, overnight and came out right after my morning oatmeal.

I don’t like it when my oatmeal tastes like used cardboard because my mind is contemplating some rich idiot who I can’t even talk to, to tell him that even though rich, he is still an idiot.

The other day he said. “Clinton lied about a blowjob and gets impeached by the media and Congress.”

Please. No wonder he married Susan Sarandon.

I wonder if he will put Susan Suran-wrap in his 1984? If she sings or gets her toe-nails painted, I might just go see it, and not because she is a good singer. It’s just that the Rocky Horror Picture Show was the best thing she ever did, and that was simply because she looked so stupid walking around in her underwear and saying “Brad” every other sentence. She really could do stupid.

I realize guys, this is a female’s point of view, it’s O.K., we agree, even though for different reasons.

Don’t you just love it when girls play bimbo’s to break into the movies and then go on and try to become heavyweight intellectuals to prove that there is more to them than breasts? It must be a trying life. Susan, as we all know, is still stuck in the time warp, and very wisely still plays the cleavage.

Anyway, Tim had to do the play in Athens to make his political statement to the world that he was in the city where democracy began. He is going to save the world.

Do to this dyspepsia overload…I sat down and read something that I have never had any desire to read, ever…and that was Karl Marx’s:”The Communist Manifesto.”

Blame it on Tim.

I must say, it was a fascinating read…the first part is very convincing. Karl covers the history of “class struggles.” The mean feudal lords had serfs. But then the serfs learned trades and made that horrible stuff, money, and got rid of the lords and then they became the big honchos. (He calls them the bourgeois.) Anyway history goes on and on, and always you keep having two classes--- the rich and the poor. He calls them the bourgeoisie (rich) and proletariat. (nobody’s) .

Then people started inventing terrible machines and inventions, which made millionaires who started taking over governments and political systems. But the rich cannot keep on top unless they constantly do new productions, which cause everlasting “agitation.” This makes the rich (like Wal-Mart) have to go everywhere all over the globe, and get it’s stuff in every country and compete with all the other rich in other countries. We now have the international market and global trade, right out of the Karl Marx playbook. Human kind has not changed much.

Well, it’s hard not to see some truth in all of this. And if you read the papers today, it reads much like the first part of the Manifesto, all the same arguments are there. Democrats love this “rich” against the “poor” stuff.

Karl does a good job, of selling the problem. And if you feel you struggle everyday, while some Exxon oil guy takes home 300 millions for not cleaning his teeth, you’re a fish looking at that bait. Your mouth is opening…and if you’re not careful…you have just swallowed the Karl Marx bait.


The Karl writes the second part of his manifesto--- the solution, which is: the state takes over everything, all property, all families, uses a heavy “progressive” income tax, centralization of the means of communication and transport, and much more. The “state” to Karl Marx is the nobodies, or the common people.

In his cockeyed view, if no one owns anything, then everyone will be equal.

But in actuality, the “state” is never the nobodies, but just another class of rich guys enslaving the poor. He has solved nothing.

It really is most funny.

Whether Karl Marx really believed this nonsense for a solution, or whether he was just trying to set himself and his cronies up for a power grab, I can’t tell you. But, the first part was strong enough to sell the plan to half the world, which in turn, killed millions of people in the act of making them all equal.

Most poor would rather be poor and free, than equal and dead.

Now, I can’t tell you how many times I wondered when all these liberal actors and actresses who are spouting off at their premiers and concerts, pretty much sounding like disciples of Karl Marx myself; Are they stupid? Are they getting paid?

And most importantly, do they not realize that the reason they can do this is:

1. Because of capitalism, they are unbelievably rich.

2. And if they cared so much about the human race, wouldn’t they want the rest of us to have a shot at what they have? If America becomes Marxist the rest of us will not get a chance to paint our toenails with Kevin, or complain about the undercooked steak at Sardi’s.

No, they fly around the world and see all the poor people with nothing to eat, and decide that America, should help the rest of the poor dying people, and George Bush is killing men in Iraq, and Castro is a good guy, because he let them stay at his best hotels.

And Karl Marx sure knew what he was talking about.

Obviously, Bill and Hillary must have put on toga parties for all of them in Athens.

I decided to try to find out (in my imaginary interview) just why Tim Robbins, whose heart is perhaps in the right place, believes in Karl Marx.

JA: Tim, I’ve been meaning to ask you, just why do you feel the way you do?

Tim: Well, Joyanna, you must see we do not have a democracy in this country. We can’t even speak our minds…because if we do, thousands of stupid people who don’t understand how we are just trying to help them won’t go see our movies. (We have big bills to pay.)

JA: Tim, I can see your heart's in the right place, and I see that maybe you have read the first part of The Communist Manifesto, but did you finish it?

Tim: Hey, I’m not a communist, I believe in democracy.

JR: Well, I agree, according to our founders we have a republic, Tim, democracies are not good because the little guy will always get outvoted, the minority. Tim, you do want the little guy to have a say in things, don’t you? That’s why the founders hated democracies.

Tim: Yeah but, we have politicians giving oil companies really big tax breaks, while the little guy suffers. I now ride a donkey. And you know all those poor people in Mexico, just want to work. We need to make all wealth equal, everyone should have a donkey.

JR: Tim, communism has never worked anywhere. Wherever it was tried, you had more poor then in the systems that had republics. Millions have been killed in China, Russia, and Vietnam...

Tim: Well, we have killed more than that. Look at WWII, and the Indians! And, man, our soldier’s murder and torture!

JR: So Tim, you do not believe in self defense I see. Let me see, if someone was to kill Susan and your children right in front of your eyes, would you want to kill them or forgive them?

Tim: I would want to kill them, but I wouldn’t because really, it’s my own fault for being an American.

JR: So, are you saying that if I kill you now, for being a so-so actor, and uneducated--- Susan would not press chargers?

Tim: Are you kidding? She would make sure you died in a plane crash. She has friends you know. You’re a right-wing idiot and this interview is over! People like you are destroying the earth, in fact, most of the people like you should just get off this beautiful planet, you’re just polluting the air, you moron! You and Rush Limbaugh!

JR: Well, Tim, I guess we should end our interview now, Thanks for sharing your thoughts with me. I can see you limo is waiting for you.

Tim; Yeah...peace.

You think I should have told Tim that Karl Marx believed in violence? He believed in killing, to get power?


Nobody’s Knows; Karl Marx said in the 1840’s there would be a United Europe and a United Americas. So Vicente Fox, has decided to help make this come true by legalizing drugs, so that all the American college kids will come down on spring break and get so high, that hey never leave. In fact, they will move to Cancun, and work for the Mexican government as drug cartels.

Nobody Cares; Bill Clinton wants you to know that he cares about your kids, he has mandated that all soda be taking out of the public schools. Soon, he will demand treadmills be put in all kindergarten classes, with personal trainers. Your property taxes will take care of this new Presidential order.

Nobody’s Perfect; Al Gore made a deal with the Russians in 1995 in which they promised not to sell nuclear weapons to Iran. But, two years later, 600 Russian scientists were in Iran’s nuclear plants. Al forgot to tell Congress about this great deal.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Madness Incorporated

Nobody’s Opinion: After reading Akira Ohiso’s article today on Mens News Daily-- “Is Tom Cruise Just Too Weird For Woman?” I decided to put in my nobody’s opinion about the subject of Tom Cruise, which of course…lead to other opinions. So I dug out something I had written on the subject. Tom Cruise himself is a mission impossible.

August, 2005; Let’s talk about madness, complete mental Armageddon…or what the pros call loony, schizoid, manic, or just plain nuts.

Recently, there was a lot of huff from many in the mainstream media about the sheer audacity of Tom Cruise, who was going on talk shows and boldly pontificating about the crash impotency of the science of psychology or its ability to actually cure any mental malady…let alone depression. He was giving advice to poor Brook Shields who had evidently recently gone through a very bad case of what professionals now call post- partum depression; better known as, “Do I really have to get out of bed and change diapers again?”

He even challenged that poster boy of vast intellectual knowledge, Matt Lauer to back up his rebuttals on the subject. Why Matt did not point out the vast array of psychological jujitsu performed everyday at the clinics of scientology, the organization that Tom swears allegiance to, is beyond all reasoning. It looked like Matt was surprised that a famous celebrity actually had something besides Bush to attack.

So shocked were they (the media) that they put out on all channels that hey---Tom was a NUT! Why, he was standing on couches to declare his new love! In love and happy: not possible! How dare he! He was just doing all this grandstanding to get attention for his newly released movie Revenge of the Nerds…no that’s not right, sorry…Speilburg’s War of the Worlds. If you have actually seen the movie, you might think Tom’s madness was a well thought out plan to get people talking about his life and thoughts instead of the movie. Many thought the movie was just a blatant attempt by Dreamworks to make some badly needed money, due to recent Speilburg bad showings at the box office. On the other hand, the good news is that illegal immigrants will not be taking over the special effects jobs anytime soon.

Tom’s big line for promotion was, “They are already here.” I just assumed he was talking about the liberal Democratic Party, didn’t you?

But looking at depression seriously, to the person suffering from it, it certainly is like experiencing the War of the Worlds. Depression is just as scary as an alien laser, when you’re in the mists of it. In fact, an alien laser would be a godsend to one suffering at the moment, anything to relieve the pain.

Brook Shields came back kicking Mr. Mission with a rebuttal of her own. Tom, she insisted certainly didn’t understand post-partum depression (obviously), and how she could not have gotten along without some medication. Take that Tom.

Just then…Bob Dylan came out on stage and started singing:
“Your right from your side, and I’m right from mine, we’re both just one too many mornings and thousand miles behind.” No...Just kidding. Well, he could have done that to help ease the situation, but who knows what Bob does these days.

Anyone who has ever suffered from this horrible condition knows that when you are in that office face to face with a person who you are praying will help relieve the pain that you can’t control, before you decide to do it yourself---knows the power and the hope that the field of psychiatry holds.

I had a very bad episode of depression long ago, when I was nineteen. The first doctor that I went to see determined in 7 minutes flat that I needed a lobotomy---quickly. In fact, before lunch. Did she look like Hannibal Lector to me? You bet. Even though I was sure removal of my frontal lobes might cure depression, I also knew it would pretty much nix any hopes that I would be able to balance a check book or drive a car.

The thought of brain removal was enough to scare me to another opinion.

The next doctor kept falling asleep. I was actually paying $150.00 an hour to watch someone fall asleep. Not only was I depressed, I was stupid. Maybe this was a tactic used to cure depression…get you so mad at being ripped off that all your suicidal thoughts turn to homicidal visions, thereby insuring the doctor big fees in long term care while visiting you in the local prison. (That is, if he wakes up alive.)

The third doctor scolded me for not being able to figure out my own problems. Why he had done just that when he was only five! He figured out that both his parents were fools, couldn’t I see that mine were? What kind of idiot was I?

Gee thanks, I feel a whole lot better.

Although psychiatrists and the field itself has some redeeming qualities and does much to help many people with answers to some very basic questions, when it comes to helping depression, these people still haven’t a clue.

Then there are the pills, Zoloft and Prozac can have terrible side effects. It’s like they say... Here, feeling suicidal? Go take this trip into the eye of a hurricane, on a small boat, and face waves of 150 feet and don’t eat. And unlike a storm, which passes in two days, you are camping out next to the toilet for 2 weeks. You don’t have TIME to kill yourself, because you are too busy vomiting. Great cure if you don’t mind spending your life watching reruns of 24 in the John.

Pills are simply a band-aid, but they don’t dare tell you that. Because guess what--even if you put brown eye contacts on and your eyes look blue…they are still brown.

Most psychiatrists just can’t comprehend the depth of the illness. Unless they have been there, they just don’t get it. Poor Brook, a charmed life, up until those hormones kicked in after the baby.

Imagine trying to tell a man what its like to go through labor, or a woman what its like to hit a home run in a major league park…you have to be there. It’s much the same with depression…which is why if a person can take pills to help, then they should by all means do it. Just don’t expect to finish that novel anytime soon. It’s a rough choice.

I believe Brook when she says the pills helped her, because what those pills do, actually, is make you stop thinking….period. You can float through the day without a discouraging thought, but you also will stop having any original thoughts whatsoever. You end up coasting in bliss of mundane euphoria…and the urge for suicide is gone.

But so is part of your soul, and pretty much the rest of your mind. AND if you are a creative person, that can drive you even madder. Even if like some say, you are addicted to the madness, your cell receptors are trained to crave it…it does make you who you are. More is learned about depression in a Dostoevsky novel or The Bible, than in any of the offices of the elite. You’d get more inspiration from the local drunk.

Just imagine Beethoven on Prozac--- Moonlight Sonata and Ode to Joy would have never been written…trust me. Churchill might not have rallied England, but stayed in his castle. The pictures of Van Gogh would have lacked that pow…that brilliance. If your thinking capacity is drugged, you cannot create. Unfortunately you are also insane at your worst moments and that’s when drugs are needed. It would be ok…if you could just take one.

But that’s not how the prescription drug companies see it, only a lifetime of addiction will do.

In the end…the fact that in this soap opera of Movie Star vs Movie Star, the incorporated madness comes in the fact that it was not Brook Shields that was seen as crazy, but Tom Cruise.

Our society has an incorporated madness of drugging everyone…boys in school who want to run around be boys, old people in nursing homes so the nurses can sit at their stations and read, hormones to women who god forbid, might get a short dose of heat, men who want to be Brad Pitt at 50, drugs for all the human race for future viruses that may not appear, and most importantly, soon a drug for the doctors to deliver so you will NOT have to overburden society with your prolonged life.

Call me crazy…and when you do, I will go sit in a hot shower for a while, and listen to Beethoven.

Works for me.

Tom could have been a little gentler on Brook…after all, he’s never been pregnant.

And Brook should have realized that Tom has NOT A CLUE how to solve the universe despite Ron Hubbard’s claim to it.

But that will come when they get older….and madness is permanently incorporated.

Joyanna Adams

Nobody's Perfect; Hillary Clinton just expressed the regret today that she wanted to be a Marine (bad eyesight), an astronaut (she was a woman) and an olympic athelete,( I won't go there.) She will be able to add this to her list when she does not become President of the United States. Bill will run again just to prevent it. He stills has his servants in Congress.
Nobody Knows; Richard Dreyfuss, is studying civics and how to impeach a President at Oxford right now. The New World Order has decided Alec Ballwin is getting tiresome.
Nobody Cares; Clint Eastwood is going to make a movie about Iwo Jima, and present the brave stories of the Japanesse. His last "girl takes up boxing" movie flopped and so will this one. Actually Eastwood, who mad his millions presenting himself as the ultimate male cowboy tough guy. Now he lives on Brokeback Mountain and says "Will you make my day?"

Bunker Hill Beans

Nobody’s Opinion; This May Day, was an historical one in the history of mankind, for today, the day that communism is celebrated all over the word, was for the very first time celebrated in the greatest freedom loving land in history---The United States.

Somewhere a great eagle is crying.

Russia had over a million people today march to honor the statue of Karl Marx. In Cuba over a million people today listened to Castro once again denounce the United States. In the streets of America, over a million people marched to demand “immigrant rights.”

Our first very proud communist march…workers unite! Rich people need you!

It was one of the saddest days in the United States history. The day that the average American citizen was reminded that his future and his children’s future were numbered

Unless…we slap ourselves, wake up, and come to our senses.

Many Mexicans feel that most of the southwest rightfully belongs to them, and they have leaders that tell them to eliminate the gringo’s because they are old, and white, and should get out of the way.

Unlike the “Boston Tea Party” where the people protested another country for overtaxing them, the Mexicans should be protesting their government, not ours.

We have done nothing but be kind and compassionate to Mexicans, given them jobs, health care, free schooling, and the expense of our own survival.

And now they want more?

The man who is always is in the wrong place at the wrong time, Geraldo, was only too glad to lead the parade.

But--let’s go back, when American leaders fought for their countries.

In 1818, John Quincy Adams, who was Secretary of State, after years of obstinate patience, finally got the British to give up the 49th Parallel, which placed the Mississippi entirely within the United States. The British went on to claim most of Oregon and Washington, but Monroe (the President) and Adams said…”no way.”

Hey, leaders actually protected our borders back then.

Can you see anyone in the administration or Congress saying “No way! You cannot take our country!” to Mexico? No, we keep hearing…”No way, you cannot have Iraq.”

If we could move Iraq into Texas, our boys would be closer to the border.

Anyway, John Quincy Adams went on and got the fishing rights off the Grand Banks, making years of Red Lobster customers very happy campers, and for that he didn’t even get a fish memorial.

Then John Quincy told the British that they had no rights in any part of North America. They had claimed “India; you claim Africa, you claim—perhaps, a piece of the moon.“ said John. “No, (when asked about Canada) . Keep what is yours, but leave the rest of the continent to us, there the boundary is marked."

He was called “acrimonious” which back in those days meant he would not get invited to go to the moon or India any time soon.

Spain (notice I did not say Mexico) owned much of the land to the south of the United States at that time---Florida, Texas, and Cuba, so they claimed. But the Spanish were having a rough time, and many of the people from “Spanish” Florida were fleeing north to Georgia.

We had trouble even back then with immigrants fleeing north into our country. It must be a genetic thing. Every day a Mexican gets the bug to just…walk north.

The Plantation Owners (who already had slaves) begged Washington to help deal with the problem. The Spanish were not doing a very good job of ruling the Mexicans. In fact, they were having problems back overseas due to Napoleon.

John Quincy, being the true American that he was, was determined to get as much of the land owned by Spain as he could, but the Spanish Minister did not want to give up Texas and silver-rich Mexico.

John Quincy Adams wanted to remove all foreign influence from North America. He reasoned if Spain could not control the people in her own domain, than she should turn it over to a nation who could.

Wow, can you imagine such bold thinking from a Secretary of State today.

Think we’ll see Ms. Rice on CNN saying “If Mexico cannot control the people in her own country…then she should turn her country over to America, who will control them.”

No, instead, we have a company merger. And no one controls anyone…it’s a free for all.
And the dictators all go home to their mansions.

Anyway, John Quincy was unfortunately at that time not president, and Monroe, who was no Jefferson, decided to give up Texas, California, Nevada, New Mexico, Arizona, Utah, and a part of Colorado.

He signed the Transcontinental Treaty on February 22, 1819 and paid the Spanish government $5,000,000. Florida was thrown in thanks to John. It was not ratified until February 22, 1821.

Those states that were giving up at that time are pretty much where all the Mexicans are now. It’s uncanny, and it’s exactly why they think they are taking back what is rightfully theirs. Only it was actually Spain’s.

Now go forward to 1844 and the war with Mexico for Texas. We fought it, we won.

Pretty simple.

Mexico at that time had an unstable government incapable of defending its claim.

And right now, The United States seems to be in the same burrito.

If our leaders won’t protect our claim to our own states, then it’s up to us to find leaders that will.

And if freedom in America goes, I don’t think that precious freedom in Iraq is going to mean a hill of bunker beans.

Nobody’s Perfect; Tim Robbins got lost today. He was marching in a protest march against the American Embassy in Athens, Greece. You know they missed him in L.A. He must have missed his plane.

Nobody Knows; Why the death of Lucille Ball was so quietly mentioned and ignored. She was an all Ameican Icon, just as much of our culture as Bob Hope. So why was she ignored in the Media? Was she a Republican? She must have been, because she was married to Desi...the Latin we all loved. This would have made great press for the amnesty movement. I guess they don’t want the Mexican boys to get any ideas.

Nobody Wins: When every illegal baby born in America becomes a citizen and therefore so does the next five generations of his immediate family, nobody wins because this cuts Medicare benefits for all Americans in half. Even the Mexicans will want to be illegal again, just to get better benefits.

Monday, May 01, 2006

Bill Clinton Hosts The Aids Vagina Monologues in Church

Nobodys Opinion; After dealing with that absurd moment in media history on Friday afternoon, where Rush Limbaugh was portrayed as some mad, raving, addicted criminal, while Keith Richards, whose brain has the consistency of a moldy sponge cake, falls out of a coconut tree, and everyone laughs as if he was never an example to millions of baby boomers that you could be rich and be completely stoned out of your mind. (Enticing millions of baby boomers to keep on smoking along with him):---to say that I was not ready for Clinton’s Sunday Night Global Iniative on Aids while I was trying to enjoy my barbeque ribs…was an understatement.

It’s sad. To me, Bill Clinton is like a terrible plane wreck. I don’t want to watch him, but I can’t help myself.

Half of the people that grew up in the sixties finally realized by the 1980’s, that unlimited drugs and sex were pretty bad. We grew up and came to our senses. The other half of the baby boomers did not grow up and now work in various Democratic institutions of media, and the government. They still think that drugs and unlimited sex are a mandatory right. Especially the most famous poster boy of that era who became President: Bill Clinton.

And now Bill Clinton believes there should be a mandatory right for governments to test everyone for aids. His big global organizations will be happy to take your money to make this mandatory testing along with shots happen.

So far he has raised 2.5 billion and expects more by September. It is our “moral obligations” to help the “babies.”

Bill has something in common with Keith Richards. He once fell at a friend’s house while he was President (rumor- he was drunk) and broke his leg. You did not see too many pictures of Bill on crutches. In fact, I bet by now they’ve all been shredded.

I saw Keith Richards fall flat on his face one time at a Stones Concert, years ago. He fell down a good seven steps…right on top of his guitar. Mick ran over to help him up, because he couldn’t get up by himself. But here is what’s funny…there was no sounds of a 175 pound guy falling on his guitar strings, and the song did not change. Mick was not singing, Keith was out completely, but the song continued as if nothing had happened.

You see the technology, much like a Bill Clinton’s monologues, is so good that you would never know you are being faked out. The performer will talk between songs so you think they are really singing. It’s all a fraud. Their sound engineers just turn them up at the right time.

Most of them do. And why does nobody care?

Why do we get appalled at baseball players on steroids and not at musicians faking it?

And why are we not more outraged when Bill Clinton goes around faking compassion?

Because faking compassion is a sure way to get your money, to set him up as Global King, and Hillary as President. It all goes to Arkansas.

Clinton sat in a chair on the alter…condoms were discussed, vaginas were mentioned. I was getting ready for Bill to pull out a banana, and put a condom on it.

An African girl got up to explain that you can’t stop aids because “Sex is fun, and feels good, and the poor people have nothing else to do.”

She was really helping Bill’s “initiative.”

Then Richard Gere stood up and talked. And the look on Bill’s Face was priceless. You could tell he did not like being upstaged by someone better looking and just as good an actor. Remember, Richard had publicly blamed Bill for not giving to aids during his Presidency.

But Bill held his poker face..

Bill Clinton, the compassionate, had overseen the selling of aids tainted blood from an Arkansas prison to Canada when he was governor. Thousands became infected with aids in Canada and even Europe. I guess he was so excited about the subject, he just forgot to mention it.

For a sinner to pontificate the subject of sex in a holy site like a church, shows you that President Clinton thinks he is God and has no respect for religion.

I think the world needs protection from Bill Clinton and his fake Aids Initiative Program.

Someone put a big condom on his head.

Nobody’s Perfect; Millions of Americans, like me, who have never watched Comedy Central in their lives, will be sure to never bother, after watching the tasteless display of insults that were thrown at our President by one of their comedians at the White House Press Correspondents Dinner on Saturday night. Not too smart of the producers of Comedy Central.

Nobody Cares; Tyson Chicken is going to close their doors tomorrow to honor their comrades from Mexico tomorrow. Since Clinton help Tyson open up many plants in China, they know how important celebrating the day of communism is.

Nobody Knows: Why Chavez’s was honored with his picture in the horoscopes of Vanity Fair this month. Like we care when he was born. We just know it was under a bad sign.