Friday, January 25, 2008

Las Vegas, Al Gore, and the North Pole

Nobody Flashes Anymore: NEWS UPDATE: Today, in Las Vegas while millions watched around the world, a spectacular fire engulfed the entire top portion of the very elegant Casino, The Monte Carlo.

Fortunately no one was hurt, and no one knows how the fire started. BUT--this man was seen near the top floor and a quick thinking tourist named Izzy Dikcus from Des Moines, Iowa, got this snapshot right before the explosion.

She also heard the man scream, "I AM THE PRESIDENT!"

What's so very amazing is that another man vacationing in Vegas at the time, Ogmar Smuggles from Nuussuaq, Greenland, saw this picture that Izzy had just taken and swore that the man in this picture looks very much like some guy he sees every year, when he goes up on his seal expeditions to the North Pole.

In fact, Ogmar told Izzy that the man seems to be quite a tourist attraction himself, working day and night blowing fire at the ice caps.

Many people have found him talking to polar bears during his breaks, and found it very funny.

The polar bears obviously stay away from him because, well frankly, they think he's a bit too full of hot air for their liking.

Ogmar talked to the man once and asked him just why he was breathing fire on the ice, and the man told him he had only five years to melt it all away...the North Pole that is.

So far, all the ice he has melted has doubled in size the next year--- so Ogmar and his friends really enjoy their trips to the North Pole every year in hopes of running into him.

Sometimes he comes in on a private jet. Ogmar figures he must be pretty rich, because he has his own landing strip built just for him.

So---if you see this man, near a nuclear reactor, near an oil well, on the beaches of Malibu, at your backyard barbeque, or walking around the White House...(which some have said he has been spotted ) please call your local human society.

Don't try to contain him yourself, he could be armed and dangerous...Leave it to the professionals.


Thursday, January 24, 2008

George in 2008

Nobody's Opinion:

Don’t you see that the whole aim of Newspeak is to narrow the range of thought? In the end we shall make throughtcrime literally impossible because there will be no words in which to express it. ---George Orwell, 1984.

So, what are you thinking at this very moment? If you have heard the “great” news that your government is going to send you money, with the subtle order (more like a major plea) that you go out right away and spend it, (ignoring that you owe $154,000 of national debt per person on top of your personal debt) I bet you just can’t wait to go out with your $300 and spend it on more soda, potato chips, maybe a movie, a decent meal, and a game of golf.

Wait---that’s only if you’re childless. People with children will get much more.

So, who has children?

It’s the Baby Boomers in the middle class that are having a hard time right now. All their kids are grown and out of the nest. That’s a big 80 million at least.

I don’t get it. People without children, have to pay for other people’s children continuing horrible education until they die, but when the government gives back money…more of it goes to the families with kids.

That’s not fair!

The senior citizens, who are losing their retirement funds and trying to pay rising costs of energy bills and personal property taxes, don’t have any kids either.

Obama has promised them money, but…he’s not the President.

If you don’t pay taxes, don’t worry---you’ll get more too. Isn’t this a nice way to introduce…what do we call it….communism? No, that’s not allowed in Newspeak.

Socialism? No, that’s not too cool either. We are only allowed to say the word “democracy” because that’s what we are told we are.

Not a republic, not communists, not plutocracy, FDR revisitation---no, a democracy.

Whatever it is, our ruling class has been “corrupt” for so long nobody is allowed to say that word either. Just ask Bill Clinton---recently he reprimanded reporters for having dared even mention the word. “Why, you are hurting South Carolina. Not one single soul asked (about the Clinton’s corrupting ways) and they never do.”

Maybe that’s because the Clintons have had so much control for so long, they’ve made sure there is no other word for them but ‘saviors’.

There is also no word to describe Bill Clinton’s act as President to put the sale of our weaponry into the Commerce Department so it didn’t have to get Congressional approval---thereby letting our great American companies sell nuclear technology to China.

Now China can vaporize every city in America.

There used to be a word for that---treason.

But, I haven’t seen that word anywhere…in fact, it’s considered a thoughtcrime just to think such a thought. A President of the United States would never do such a thing.

No, there is no word in the English language for that “act” that Bill Clinton did. It’s been erased, and only the brave dare speak about it.

Hillary, as President, has plans to find a way to give all those people who bought a $400,000 home on their $36,000 salary, money to stay in their homes.

Some legitimate homeowners may lose their homes paying for other's ineptitude.

What’s the word for that? Oh, yeah---‘help.’

There’s another word that’s disappearing from the English language, and soon the Spanish language when it takes over... (It won’t says the doublespeak TV…don’t you worry.)


“Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two makes four.” ---1984

Here’s an interesting fact: In an animal research experiment conducted in 1967 at the University of Pennsylvania, psychologists Marin Seligman and Steven Maier found that when dogs were allowed an escape route from electric shocks, they always tried to escape.
Then, when the route was closed, most of them just gave up. When the escape route was opened again, most of the dogs just stayed and took the shock.

Why even bring this up?

Because I can’t for the life of me understand why more people don’t see that two plus two makes four---all I can think of is that too many of us have been condition to think that there IS no escape anymore, even if it’s still there.

Our election will be Hillary VS McCain, Newspeak polls are telling us.

Two plus two now equals 350 million people who forgot the word for---



Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Bathroom Decor For the Anti-Feminist

Nobody Flashes Anymore: Once again, contradictions abound as we see here---

Having come across this wonderful and imaginative use of paint and convection, I have been trying to figure out just where this facility is in order to inform all the dear gentlemen who read just where they can go and wash their hands.

Having no clue, I of course, being the clueless blond that I have tried so hard to become, give a few "opinions" about where this should be. Go ahead and make a few of your own.

(1) The bathroom on Google's private jet.

(2) Bill Clinton's office in Harlem.

(3) The producers of Saw's III, the movie, official bathroom used for all casting employees.

(4) The dressing room bath for Blue Man Group in Las Vegas

(5) A bathroom in Davos, Switzerland adjacent to the "round tables" at the Economic World Forum...where all the "votes" are cast on how to manage the plant and it's pesky citizens. The bathroom where they wash up to get in the right frame of mind.

(6) Rosey Donnell's bathroom where she keeps her many toys.

(7) Official bathroom of the Dallas Cowboys.

(8) Stuffed ex-playboys from Hugh Hefner's private collection, missing frontal parts stuffed on walls in his collection bedroom.

(9) The bathroom where John Edwards gets his hair cut.

(10) Congress's private dressing room.

OR--Could one of these girls could have been Anne Sexton the American poet who once said;

I was tired of being a woman, tired of spoons and the pots,

tired of my mouth and my breasts, tired of the cosmetics and silks...

I was tired of the gender of things. ---Consorting with angels (1967)

Maybe someone was tired of her. (just KIDDING--good lord)

Okay, that's enough. If anyone knows where this really is...don't hesitate to run right over there and take some pictures! Especially with the "girl" on the end, has anyone noticed?

And more importantly, what did I miss?


Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Come On Over Obama...Reagan Did.

Nobody’s Opinion: The most important thing to remember about the democratic debate last night is not that Hillary and Obama got into a ‘fight’ or that John Edwards made his best effort yet at being a likable Vice Presidential comrade nominee, despite having eyelids that blink faster than a hummingbird in heat…

It’s the fact that immigration was not even mentioned--- not when the black Congressional Caucus is sitting right down front. Blacks feel, and rightly so, their needs should come before illegal immigrants. After all---they were slaves here first.

If any of the three candidates had admitted to their future plans of legalizing millions of immigrants, which is exactly what they plan to do, thereby taking jobs from millions of black people also, you might have seen quite a different debate.

Talk about fear…all the candidates were quick to point out that their health plans did not cover illegal immigrants, although Mr. Edwards made a quick note that once he became President, he would make all illegal’s legal, and then they could get it.

That got no response from the mostly black crowd, because no one in that audience thought John Edwards will become the nominee, but it did get Hillary and Obama off the hook from having to discuss it, while throwing the Latinos watching a bone.

Good dog, John.

John likes to rescue everyone it seems…even other candidates.

Last week the Clintons made all issues on race and gender in warming up for Martin Luther King’s Birthday, so they could really milk it. Obama was supposed to win in South Carolina.

Hillary knows it’s important for her. She knows she will have the delegates.

Obama, going by some of his comments, is finally figuring out that the Clintons are playing him big time.

But…what if…Obama got wise?

Wouldn’t that be marvelous?

Ronald Reagan once said: “I didn’t leave the Democratic Party, the Democratic Party left me.”

What if Obama got really angry about all the damage the Democratic Party has done to his people---which is the true historical record?

He might just want to ditch all his communist advisers and “come” over to the Republican side.

If Obama was running as the Republican nominee, Hillary would lose. He outclasses her and her husband by bucket loads.

When you look at Obama, you look up.

When you look at Hillary…no matter how much Botox is spread between her checks, she still looks like a chipmunk holding too many nuts in her mouth…

Most of them come out half-cracked.

It’s been hard watching Obama trying desperately to handle the Clintons, who act like the spoiled brats of friends that you can’t touch---with diplomacy and dignity. Obama pointed out, that Hillary will say and do anything to become President.

It’s not easy to keep dignity around the Clintons.

Not when Hillary hits you with her, “I am a woman, and it’s my turn!” smirk.

It seemed Obama was thinking out loud, when he explained how Ronald Reagan reached out to all the American people--- as if he is finally realizing what he is up against.

For instance; his health care plan, which differs from Hillary, would make him a much more formidable opponent, if Romney becomes the nomination.

He pointed out Mitt’s problems in Massachusetts. The people who can’t afford to pay the health care end up paying fines and are still not getting covered, he said.

When Joe John (obviously a planted Hillary supporter) asked Obama about what he thought of Bill Clinton being the first black President...

No one reprimanded that question as the malicious spitfire that it was.

All last week, Hillary and her bulldog Bill, kept attacking Obama about race. Hillary keeps reminding us Obama is black and she is a woman, hoping to play on prejudices that she thinks are out among the white people.

But Iowa proved that’s false.

In Nevada, where the Clintons have complete control of the Unions and the mob, Obama didn’t have much of a chance. We only saw Hillary granting amnesty to all Mexican women.

The real stories of what happened in the casinos won’t ever come out. Despite their complaining…I’m sure Billary wanted that vote to take place there.

Just because no one talks about the mob, doesn’t mean they don’t exist.
And we all remember how Joe Kennedy got John elected.

So…take another lesson from Reagan, Obama; it’s never too late to learn.

You want to be America’s first black President?

Then switch parties and fight for her.


Monday, January 21, 2008

A Dream Extended On

Nobody Flashes Anymore: In honor of the great Martin Luther King's speech "I had a dream" yesterday, I was thinking that...Hmmmm--- that's a great idea Martin! Maybe we should extend this wonderful day to not only include racial equality, justice for all, but a plane in every driveway!

This is my dream. To win the lottery, and buy a house just like John Travolta's, here in Florida. One where I can have my own jet and pull it right up to my house...with my own airfield.

Of course I would need a pilot.

Also, I would like to see somebody else besides Bill Clinton making his same old tired speech every year, in his usual black baptist church, telling the story about about how he cried at 17 when he heard Martin Luther King.

Somehow, it's hard to imagine Bill Clinton at seventeen crying about anything, unless one girlfriend had found out about the other.

Wouldn't it be nice to have a day of great guys like Bob Parks, Justice Clarence Thomas, Thomas know...on TV carrying on the great traditions of Mr. King....that the dream we live, in order to be arrived at, has to be felt by all, white, green, red, ...fat, skinny,....and most!

And the only way to get there is get on with it, using common sense and individual pride. Christian values, laws of our founders, and judging man to man on character alone.

As Martin said...colorblind.

United we stand, divided we fall as they say. And the sooner everyone figures that out, the sooner we realize that the democrats are keeping us divided, uneducated and poor... the better we will be.

And with that thought in mind...I would include a moat and some palm trees on this...maybe a golf course, lots more plants....


Sunday, January 20, 2008

Nobody Reports on a Monday: Nobody Takes the Low Road

Nobody’s Opinion: Lanny Davis, one of Bill Clinton’s best soprano lawyers, just said to Geraldo (minutes ago while I was innocently drinking my coffee) that President George Bush agreed with him on immigration; yes--- they both had insisted on taking the “high road.”

Which of course means, you low-life, no good, racists Americans who do not want Mexicans to come and take over your country…you are taking the “low road” to life.

You, dear Americans…are not worthy.

Last week, Hillary Clinton took the “high road” when she went and visited poor Mexicans in their “slums” outside Las Vegas, and announced in a perfectly timed video release that, “No woman is illegal.” The next day, it was reported that 30 million South American Women were packing their bags, kids, mamas, and their mama’s mama, along with a few chickens… to come to Las Vegas.

Obama, the black man running for President, did not stand a chance. Despite, or more likely because of John Kerry’s endorsement, he lost in Las Vegas to Hillary.

I think Hillary should just stand on the Mexican border in a white gown with her arms outstretched saying, “Cross Over Children…ALL ARE WELCOMED, ALLLLL ARE WELCOMED---Cross OVER…Come into the light!

(Okay, I’ve seen Poltergeist too many times.)

Last week, my husband told me a funny story. He was down in Texas at a convention, where of course, all the hotel workers were Mexicans. On the last night, his company threw a big dinner for all 7,000 employees and the Mexicans were going around, picking up everyone napkins off their tables, and putting them in everyone’s lap.

Not something you want to do to certain men.

Yes, “napkin lap positioning” is another job that Americans just won’t do.

“I swear, if that waiter would have put that napkin in my lap, I would have punched him.”

This is pretty much how I felt tonight when Lanny Davis started being his usual snobby self when he said that high road stuff. He is now on my, “Nobody’s low road list” which I will explain after…

Nobody’s Perfect: Chuck Norris said today that John McCain may be too old to be President. And yet, Chuck is running for a candidate (Huckabee) that said that when he went to college, in the deeeeep South, he would fry dead squirrels with his popcorn popper.

A talent of course that Huck might need when facing nuclear threats from Iran. Frying Ahmadinejad up some popcorn squirrel might just make him a lifelong friend.

He may be right. John McCain may be too old to be President…but some of us think Chuck is getting too old to keep on selling gym equipment on TV.

If Huckabee doesn’t ask him to be Vice President, maybe Chuck could start selling Squirrel Fryers on Cable after this is over. With the price of groceries going up, they’re sure to sell well this year.

After all, the new mantra is “change,” Chuck.

Huckabee is also on my “nobody’s low road” list.

Nobody Knows: Jews, have been universally considered since the world began to be the wisest business men ever to walk the earth (Although you’re not supposed to talk about it--- you did NOT hear this from me.) And it is being reported that Jews always vote for Democrats.

And yet, it’s the Republicans who are always considered to be the big, bad guys who just look out for big corporations. Go figure.

But what nobody knows is that Bill and Hillary Clinton not only have all the rich Jewish endorsements (Spielberg, Streisand) they also have millions of dollars coming from Dubai, Saudi Arabia, and China. Add Bill’s list of old “girlfriends” and you’ve got enough money to start your own country.

And because, they are so secret and hypocritical about it all, they are also on my “Nobody’s low road” list. In fact, they are on top.

Nobody Cares; So far, we have learned that Obama is running as a black: Hillary is running as a woman: McCain is running as “I have been a P.O.W so just let me nuke somebody.”: Romney is running as, “I can fire government employees!”: Edwards is running as Charles Dickens: Huckabee is running as Gomer Pyle:---but after all is said and done, the one man who will win not only another decade in the White House, but control of much of the world--- is Bill Clinton.

And yet, Alec Baldwin says nothing.

Nobody Wins; I was talking to a “white” friend of mine today about the Tiger Woods “lynching” story that was in the news last week, just filling him in on the facts, when my husband kicked me. There was a black kid behind the counter.

Good god. Although I said nothing racist at all, and was reporting “news,” I was made to feel guilty for that.

The race card that Obama and Hillary have been throwing out there all week, making decent hardworking black and white Americans go through this racial baloney, crap again and again---well, for that they should both be taken out and….pushed down the “low road.”

Nobody’s Fool: And so, just what is my “Nobody's low road list?”
Just a simple idea.

Since during this economic hard time, when the immigration invasion that won’t, according to all news channels reporters tonight, make America into a Spanish Nation…

And since our banks are so fond of being bailed out by foreigners…

I suggest, since we pay the big salaries for these idiotic leaders, and they have no qualm about selling American assets off piece by piece…

We put them up for auction…to the highest foreign bidders.

Sell the Clintons to China, the Bushes to Mexico, Obama to Africa, and send dear old Huckabee to Iraq, where he can popcorn squirrels for the troops.

They could use a good laugh.

And Lanny---this nobody will take the low road any day of the week.

As the song says, “I’ve got friends in Low Places.” And their noses don’t bleed.

But hey…I will certainly put you on my list.