Saturday, May 10, 2008

Mother Shines Inside of Us All

Nobody Flashes: Happy Mother's Day!

Everyone has a mother. Your mother is pretty much like the sun. No matter where you are, how far away you are, how old you are, or even if your mother is no longer on this thing is for sure...

She shines inside your every second with a light just as powerful as the sun. She gave you life..and strength, and all you have to do is bring her out once in a while and admire her.

All she asks is that you pass that light on...after all, remember-- the only global warming that is truly real is your mother.


Friday, May 09, 2008

Treadmill in the Sea

Nobody's Fool: Now THIS is what I call exercising!

A treadmill, and a pool...all you need is the big screen...

I would have made this a bit bigger so you could sit once in a while and turn on the jets...but, that's me.

I say we put Obama on the left, and Hillary on the right, and the first one to not drown, wins.


Thursday, May 08, 2008

Nobody Dreams of Good Soil

Nobody Wins: Yesterday I woke up, and instantaneously the very first thought that came to my mind, was this strange and illogical sentence: literally.

MEDIEVAL HEADLINE: (Of course, there was no such thing.)

Man Spots Excellent Soil in the Great Distance.

With his bare eyes…no binoculars. Amazing.

Then I imagined lots of people in an old London town around the 13th century, rolling their food carts, reading their morning newspaper and being completely in awe of this “man” who could actually spot good soil from over 5 miles away. There was no picture, because of course, the camera had not been invented yet.

What…are the food prices starting to get to me?

I know, absurd. You can’t make this stuff up. Who wakes up thinking such ridiculous thoughts?

After being mad at myself for not waking up to my favorite nocturnal habit of designing multi-billion dollar houses in my head for fun, I thought--too much melatonin, and laughed, because if a dream is suppose to tell you what you are thinking I had no clue what I was trying to tell myself.

That was yesterday---today it actually made sense.

All this Obama vs Hillary stuff has really been getting to me, and listening to Rush Limbaugh’s daily “Operation Chaos” which has kept Hillary in the race, has also been getting to me.

But, isn’t it all about being able to spot “good soil?” Isn’t it all about “visions” and people who have them?

Lots of people have “visions.” Hillary Clinton had a “vision” around the age of seven…she was the center of the universe, and all the world’s eyes were only on her. Maybe that’s why in every picture taken of her, even after all her losses, she looks completely happy. Her vision is mostly about herself, and fame, and in that respect, she is standing in the middle of her soiled field. She has spent all her waking moments, to get to this point in time. She even had to put up with a serial philanderer to get to her goal.

Barak Obama’s “vision” of becoming President obviously happened when, as a very young man, he wrote his autobiography, glorifying a scum-bag Muslim father in order to endear himself to the black movement, to be used as a launching pad to the Presidency as the first “black President.” He had to dish his white grandmother and the American flag in order to line himself up for this, but his vision was again… all about himself.

Unlike Hillary and Obama though, Rush Limbaugh's “vision” has been for preserving the “ideals” of conservatives. In “Operation Chaos” he sees the possibilities of destroying the Democratic Party and therefore getting the country back to Republican philosophies. It’s a noble vision, and it will take years if it happens at all…but he has invested dishonest tactics used by the “enemy," something necessary in a war to win.

In that case, honest people are having trouble, but then again, historically speaking, power has rarely been gotten without a war mentality.

But as we have seen in Iraq, its one thing to envision good soil, it’s quite another to make a good crop come out of it.

The founders of our country (who were also farmers) knew that. They looked into the distant hundreds of years and saw “good soil,” but also made sure that the country was built “historically” on the best manure in order to make that soil turn out the best crop.

Now, it seems the “American” soil has been depleted, so a handful of men are looking for other fields…the “vision” of global soil---a world where their “products” bring millions of starving people into a New World Order, while the American crop is left to rot.

The real problem is: if you don’t know what works, how to plant the seeds, how to take care of your crop, it doesn’t matter how good your “soil” is, as Bush is learning in Iraq.

So is Hillary and Obama’s dream of redistributed wealth going to launch a better crop?

Rush might destroy the Democrats, but does he think he can save America from the globalists in both parties? Or does Rush believes globalism will eventually save America?

How long will that take, Rush?

What my dream was telling me is that I was hoping for a leader who can see the good soil from a distance, and plant the right seeds.

Until he or she shows up, it remains only a dreamy headline.


Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Is That Your Heart Beating--Or Your Coffee Bean?

Nobody Cares: If you are hooked on caffeine to the point that you will pretty much vote for anyone if you don't have that morning five cups of coffee, some really addicted coffee addict has just the thing for you.

A coffee grinder that lets you put in coffee beans, and then hug it. This very caring and lovable coffee grinder then picks up the sound of your heartbeat, and will BEAT the coffee beans in rhythm to your heart...

While you gently caress it.

Howard Stern has ordered fifty thousand, so hurry...the Heart Beans coffee grinder is going fast!

Yeah--- I know. The rich are getting bored...


Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Are YOU on the List?

Nobody Knows: When it comes to conspiracy theories, the list is long. The general conception is, don’t pay any attention to them. JFK was not killed by more than one guy: FDR did not let Pearl Harbor happen to get the U.S. into war: Princess Diana just got into a car with a drunk driver: LBJ did not use the Gulf of Tonkin to start the Vietnam War, and Elvis is still alive and last seen ordering fast food at a Dairy Queen in Texas.

The latest conspiracy deserves at least some serious thinking because yesterday, America was presented with a new “list.”

I’ve named it the “Terri Schiavo- Pick Your Body Count” conspiracy.

It was reported yesterday that Homeland Security along with many other universities and government think tank lords, put out a list of just who would live and who would die, if there was
(Michael Leavitt ever a flu pandemic.
US Department of Health
Doctors…get out your stethoscopes, you are now relieved of all law suits.

In the event of a “pandemic” doctors are now allowed to “let die” people over 85, people over 60 who have been severely burned, people suffering from any kind of trauma, (like getting in a car crash hurrying to the hospital to get a flu shot) anyone with a chronic disease, (Your baby got cancer? Too bad.) Bad heart? Sorry. Lung diseases? Nope. Oh and my personal favorite…poorly controlled diabetes.

Half my neighbors will lose with that one.

In other words, anyone who is not young and healthy is pretty much sacrificed. They call this the “battlefield approach.”

Legally, I would argue its state-sanctioned genocide. I would also argue that according to this list, Dick Cheney should be one of the first denied the vaccine.

So---here’s the conspiracy: Our government, has come to its final hours. The money has run out. They do not have the funds to pay all the retiring baby boomers who will be living twice as long as they were suppose to live, despite all the bad food. The Iraq war needs to carry on for at least another five years. A nice flu epidemic would be a welcomed relief to a huge political system that is now funding multinational corporate global takeovers. A natural “cull” in the herd would be propitious.

Right. That’s just about as crazy as saying that the third building on 9/11 was destroyed on purpose...

Or is it?

Back in 2005, Bush spoke to the United Nations General Assembly, and announced the “International Partnership on Avian and Pandemic Influenza.” These plans were also included in that North American Treaty. The plan states how to treat the pandemic (school closings and isolations, etc) but also stipulates, “The chair of the Security and Prosperity coordinating will rotate between each national authority on a yearly basis.”

In other words, Mexico can decide whether someone deemed “on the list” in America lives or dies.

So, what’s a good government to do since they believe its coming? Well, think up as many scares as you can.

They have been scaring us all for years to get vaccinated. Not only do you have your yearly flu shot, but measles outbreaks, West Nile Virus, Anthrax, and even one mandated to young girls in Texas to ensure that they reproduce after the “pandemic” with a vaccine against sexual diseases.

For our convenience they have set up cheap vaccination centers all over the United States in corner drugstores.

They’re getting ready, no doubt about it.

I don’t get it. Up to now, the “bird flu” has killed less people on the planet than three months of gang fights on the Mexican border. How will this killer flu, which hasn’t mutated in over twenty years, all of a sudden in one year--jump evolutionarily into a killer flu that wipes out the planet?

Where’s Reverend Wright on this one?

Last week, a typhoon killed 22,000 people in Myanmar. They don’t want the 3 million dollars that George Bush is just begging them to take.

So, if this “bird flu” is not a conspiracy to kill the greedy consumers trashing the planet, then prove it to us.

Bush, sworn to protect and defend, should use that 3 million dollars that Mylomare doesn’t want, to stock up on the Tami flu vaccine here in America so that when it does hit, no man, woman or child in the United States is left without protection.

Universal Health Care looks good now--doesn’t it? Mmmmmm...

Where’s my mask?


Monday, May 05, 2008

Nobody Approves Tom Hanks Message

Nobody’s Perfect: Tom Hanks, one of the last men in Hollywood, who it seems cannot help himself when it comes to not knowing that he should maybe keep his political pick for President to himself---( so that we can go on enjoying his performances) made the announcement today that he is supporting Barack Obama for President.

He did this on Youtube…with a sign in back of him that says, “Loose lips sink ships.”

Was there a subliminal message here? Pick my guy, or we’re all gonna die? I’m Tom Hanks, and I know all about history, and I approve my own message, because…I read.

Well, all I can say is: Mr. Hanks…you really are Forest Gump.

I’m not one to say that Tom Hanks cannot have an opinion for President, or even that he shouldn’t try to influence the election like all the rest of his Hollywood pals who think that the majority of us out here are just dummies-on-a-stick.

Or even that he takes the time to put his endorsement up on Youtube, a place he might never be seen otherwise.

No, I take issue with him saying this: “An Obama presidency could bring about a “seismic shift” and “live up to the great promise once shaped by our founding fathers.”

Well, he’s right about one thing: accordingly if Obama is not elected President, Jesse Jackson will be having “seismic shifts” all over the planet.

Obama’s political views are about as far from the great promise of our founding fathers as a “seismic shift” is from a shivering bird feather. If Mr. Hanks actually read history, as he claims, he would know that.

Where our forefathers believed in liberty, each man having the God given freedom to make his own life, Obama would be much worse than even the autocratic King George in taking those freedoms away. On a good day, he is just a closet Marxist who has a talent for speaking, which by the way, so did Hitler.

Obama already has (as does Hillary) big plans to tax the American citizen ruthlessly in order to redistribute any wealth left by the hard-working people of this country. He is out to “end poverty” in the rest of the world--just not here.

How convenient to make this right after his production of David McCullough’s John Adams has finished being released by HBO…how timely his endorsement.

Our founders tried to warn us against all the corruption that now permeates every single branch of their great “Republic,” unfortunately they forgot to include the clause “freedom from narcissistic pandering Hollywood movie stars out to influence world events.”

Well, they weren’t perfect.

What’s with all these movie stars? Are they schizos? Tom Hanks has produced some great stuff…“We Were Brothers,” “Saving Private Ryan,” and now, the wonderful series on John Adams …

Do these people not even listen to the script they put on screen? Are they thinking about their furniture? What?

More than likely, Tom Hanks saw a best seller, a lot of money, and a great way to guide the American people into trusting you when you speak. And Tom wants to speak; he knows his words can carry a lot of votes. Maybe in his own mind he thinks he is saving the country.

Maybe he spent just a little too much time on that island. Hamas has endorsed Obama.

Actually, when Tom turned off his camera, he looked…like he made this announcement to make someone mad. Something you might do if you were trying to “get back” at someone---I’m just saying.

If Barbara Walters can have a secret affair with a married Senator, then maybe Tom Hanks was scorned by Hillary? Or Bill owed him money? Naw.

More than likely, they’ve got his FBI files.

Tom also said, “We were a country that once said people with his skin color were only three-fifths of a human being.” Good one Tom. Guess you skipped the historical facts that it was the Democratic Party that made this three-fifths rule about their slaves so that they could get more electoral votes and keep slavery alive.

The Democratic Party is still cheating on electoral votes, except this time, once on the floor of the convention no elector has to vote for the people, they can just pick whoever they want.

And I suggest they pick Tom Hanks for President. We’ve got nothing but actors on the stage now; we might as well get the best!

Go ahead Tom…announce it on Youtube! I’ll approve that message!


Sunday, May 04, 2008

Commander Hillary Stands & Forgets to Put the Lid Down

Nobody's Opinion: You gotta hand it to her. With a lot of help from her friends, the one-woman strike force, General Hillary Clinton, held another one of her carefully staged ‘town-hall’ meetings on Sunday’s ABC’s program, The Week with George Stephonopoulos.

Indiana…look out.

She was looking simply marvelous in her dark pants suit—a suit she desperately wanted to show off because she kept popping up out of her chair to command full attention, much to George’s frustration. George had provided a beautiful sit-down set, fit for a Commander-in-Chief. They spared no expense…huge leather chairs, carefully placed lamps and décor that was evidently not good enough.

If you’ve been following her recent events, a John Deere tractor-trailer on the set, would have suited her better.

Hillary, who is now on the last home stretch to her nomination as Supreme General of the upcoming totalitarian world filled with capitalistic multinational leaders, (leaders she now attacks for their out-of-American-order behavior) took full advantage of the visual affect of making herself look powerful and commanding against little George Stephonopoulos, who she not only outweighs but out-flashes.

Hillary knows how to make a man look small.

So---George was forced to stand and ask questions. Angry no doubt for the rudeness of how Hillary simply took over control of his show, he asked her much tougher questions then anyone has asked before. In the usual political gobbly-gook that we all expect from the Clintons, she managed to fluff away every point as if they were just attacks of puff-balls filled with bullets of whipped cream.

All she needed was the obligatory whip of General Patton to complete her outfit.

Yes---General Hillary was in command. She even mentioned that there was a general in the audience backing her. She also mentioned that George used to work for her in the White House. And you can be sure, when she is President, she will never fail to remind us all that the American people work for General Hillary’s vision of America---so toughen up!

She’s becoming a regular Napoleon.

The ‘town hall’ audience carefully stood and read their questions given to them on cue cards, each question picked to match perfectly the person reading the question. There was a handsome young man who read, “what about our lost jobs?” There was a farmer who read, “how about the farm jobs?” There was a young black woman who asked, “Where’s Revered Wright? Am I in the wrong room? ”

Actually, she didn’t ask that, but I bet she was thinking it.

Hillary had a carefully thought out answer to each question, because she knew them before they were asked. There was also a young smiling Republican woman who said she registered as a Democrat, just to vote for Hillary. This helped Stephonopoulos bring up the subject of how Rush Limbaugh is helping Hillary with his “Operation Chaos.”

“He’s always had a crush on me.” she said. That was such an excellent answer, one wonders if General Rush isn’t lending her some of his crack-shot writers.

The real problem here is, when past presidential advisers, who Presidents spend more time with than even their first ladies, end up getting very prominent positions on the major televisions networks right before that President’s term is up, as George Stephonopoulos, Dick Morris, and Carl Rove have done---it doesn’t matter how much they try to convince us that they no longer work for their pass bosses…can the American people actually trust that they don’t?

Its one thing to become simple columnists or lobbyists--it’s quite another to get their own shows and be given the power to influence elections results.

Hillay’s ‘town hall’ meeting could have been done in communist Russia. There was not anything about it that was not controlled down to the last minute, except Hillary once again reminding George just who his commanding officer still is.

Ms. Rodham is now a gun-toting, get-out-of-dodge, kick-ass, I’m your huckleberry sheriff, until she gets in the White House. She plays to the crowd, but once in, who knows what she will do? One thing is clear, she has been ruthless in all her activites in the past, she can only get worse with even more power.

Meanwhile, John McCain might want to get some platform shoes because General Hillary is out to smash that “I am Commander-In-Chief’ lid right on his head.

And that’s an image that’s hard to flush away.