Nobody's Perfect: When our mayor here...in North St. Louis County advised all the citizens to go out and stock up on guns, due to the fact that he was pretty sure that crime was NOT going to go down...why, we got on the National NEWS!
FOX to be exact!
It was quite an exciting day. Finally our little patch of America had become famous, even if it was news to most of us that our local major thought crime was so bad we needed to protect ourselves... because he sure couldn't guarantee our protection.
He has a point...I've seen some of the police force---but honesty from a mayor? Almost unheard of! We are proud.
So, my cousin Bobby decided he'd make a few bucks selling his latest invention.
He won't tell me what it is: or exactly what it shoots, but I'm pretty sure if I get one and just stick it out the front door, I'll be safe. Lifting it might prove a problem, so I intend to just set it on my porch and aim it at the corner Muslim's house...the house that ONLY has Muslims in it, on special occations....like family meetings of forty or more of mostly men. They come, park their big expensive SUV'S, party, then they all go away. As far as I know, they are plotting the next major attack.
Now, before the NSA comes to my house, please note: (This is a joke guys.) Honestly, American citizens are not the enemy here..
So...even though this house is dark for months on end...someone feels that they should keep up appearances and mows the lawn.
I find that pretty funny.
President "elect" Obama, upon hearing the news that all Americans were running down to their local Wal-Mart and buying guns instead of HD TV's, made a "public service" announcement that we really didn't all have to go out and "stock up." In fact, he wished we wouldn't.
Why not?
This shows you how out of touch he is with the American public. Many of us are already stocked. But, just in case it's not enough, I suggest getting one of Bobby's really big guns. It might only be a fancy potato gun, but I really don't think it matters...
Sometimes it IS size that matters! I think our mayor might have said that but if not, I'm sure Bobby was thinking it.
(Okay, that's NOT my cousin...that's my uncle's cousin.)
For all I know, it could be YOUR cousin...who cares?
It's a cool looking gun...don't you think? If I had a gun like that, I would walk around the house and pretend I'm Ripley in Aleins...
Hey...I'm just saying...walk softly and carry a big gun (stick) --- so said Teddy Roosevelt...
So did Ronald Reagan...
Obama? You might take a tip from our local mayor and tell your citizens to--- stock up.
After all, since bad news came out today about the Chicago Cubs going up for sale, they might not EVER make it to the World Series, and that would cause major riots.
Give our mayor a call...go ahead. We ARE proud.
Labels: Humor