Saturday, August 05, 2006

Meltdown Sundae of Conspiracies

Nobody’s Opinion: This heat wave has brought out some really heavy and brilliant political thinking on MND, something of which I will not even try to attempt, as my brain is freezing right now in my little air-conditioned room. Nevertheless, I laid out in the sun today, against all warnings, and for one hour, my melting hot fudge sundae brain pondered up some questions and absurdities that only one suffering from radiation can surmise; so here are some conspiracy nuts to ponder:


Everyone was talking about conspiracy theories on the radio stations today. Someone released a report saying that one third of Americans think that our government was involved in the 9/11 destruction of the World Trade Center. "Poppycock" said most of the hosts.

The theory is that the current administration did this on purpose to get America into a war, just so President Bush could go over to Iraq.

On the other hand, it could have been a sinister democratic strategy by Bill Clinton, who still has loyal minions everywhere, to hurt the Republicans. (Although, no one has suggested it, which means there may be more truth to it.)

Hey, when there are trillions and trillions of dollars to be made and hidden in off-shore accounts…this nobody says all bets are on, and I’m here to tell you that you can actually hear brain cells melting in 102 degrees Fahrenheit.

One guy from New Jersey called in to one show and explained in incredible sounding detail, how the planes actually melted instantly into liquid on impact thereby causing the three main steel beams to melt. He said all the people who believe in conspiracy theories are mentally disturbed. Another expert (promoting his book) from Popular Mechanics, went into greater detail about how all the theories have been tested, and there are no conspiracies.

What nobody ever mentions is that a whole nation watched in disbelief on 9/11, when two buildings went down so perfectly, and in such a timely matter, we were looking for Bruce Willis. Then we started hearing the “conspiracy theories,” and after that--- the refutation of the theories, both of which are too numerous to mention. We ended up totally confused not knowing what to believe.

Which is the point, isn’t it? What…did you think it was only the open borders they want to control?


I have been noticing a real blitz of propaganda from the USA Today online pictures of the war in the Middle East, but I am told accordingly by most intellectuals and scientists that to even think there is a “conspiracy” against Israel by an American paper is bordering on insanity.

Ok…has Barbra Streisand bought the paper? She’s Jewish isn’t she? Is she hanging out with Mel? Are they secret lovers?

Everyone knows that it’s a very small handful of people that control our media. Even Reuters today had an article titled, “Some Cubans Enjoy Comforts of Communism.”

After all, they get a free education on how to live under a dictator and not go crazy. They actually NEVER want to leave Castro’s paradise due to the wonderful free medical care; they might starve, but then again, look how hard the Americans have to work. (hint, hint)

No conspiracy to get us thinking communism is better than democracy here.

That’s why I suppose, 70,000 Cubans drowned last year trying to reach America. They are anxious to spread the comforts of communism.

Which reminds me…when Clinton insisted little Elian go back to Castro, how come we didn’t hear any conspiracy theories about that? I was thinking maybe nukes were aimed at Bill’s House. (This is what Bill thought the White House was) Or maybe Castro had one of his kids.


Speaking of Bill Clinton, (must I?) he has been praising Al Gore today, saying that Al was a real partner in his administration. Why he waited until now to say this is beyond me. Now that we have one of the hottest summers on records, Bill doesn’t miss a beat to latch on to the environmental star of Al Gore. Since he has started the new initiative of global recycling mayors, he might need Al to make another movie.

He has also latched onto Lieberman, (that neo-con democrat) to show everyone that he and Hillary both support the war, because THEY could do it so much better.

Lieberman, the ultimate lapdog, who, if you remember when he was running with Al Gore as Vice President, renounced anything conservative he had said in the past, and was leaning so far to the left he made the Tower of Pisa look straight, has been chosen as the sacrificial lamb for the next election.

And Sean Hannnity today was praising Lieberman up and down…this nobody wonders…has he gone over to the dark side? Or is it the heat? ( I almost said “in”)

Everyone knows that it is Lieberman that the democrats are hoping will get enough votes as an independent to push Hillary into office, so is Sean thinking Lieberman will take votes away from Hillary? Is this another conspiracy? Does he need a drink of cool water?


Then there’s the conspiracy about JFK--- was he killed by one bullet that went six ways? Did the Mafia kill him because his brother was such a pest? (So they killed him too?) Did LBJ have him killed because he wanted to be President, and prolong the war in Vietnam? Was he killed by the secret world leaders because he was going to get rid of the Federal Reserve? Was Lincoln killed because HE was going to get rid of the Federal Reserve?

And what are the chances that two of the most beloved and best looking, very rich people in the world just happen to have accidents during the Clinton administration? JFK Jr and Princess Diana were on the cover of People magazine more than any other celebrities. (Dianna beat JFK out because she had more outfits.)

Was JFK JR. really a horrible pilot, or was that Senatorial run he was thinking about in New York just too much for Hillary to bear? Why the big cover-up funeral at sea?

And Princess Diana, was her driver just drunk? Does it actually take over four hours to get to the local Paris hospital after a major accident? Didn’t she actually say how Charles would kill her? Did Camille just get tired of waiting? Or was it the fact that she made them all look like the snobs they really are?

Hey wait, I’m on a roll….

Let’s not forget the fact that FDR had 17 communists working in his administration. (According to actaul fact finder, Ann Coulter) and that Pearl Harbor was a set up to get us into WWII.

And the fact that Marilyn Monroe was maybe killed because she was having too much sex with both Kennedy brothers and she was going to say something...

And Roswell actually did happen, but the government doesn’t want you to know that maybe there are beings smarter than our Congress in the universe?

And my most favorite one of all….there is a new world government, a shadow government that has been planning the fall of America for over forty years, who are putting in place a One World Governemtn, …mostly a bunch of bankers who run our lives, and pick our Presidents, and Congress, and are setting up for us all to be chipped, cataloged, manipulated by propaganda, and then euthanized to get some some people off of Medicare, thereby saving some money.

Nothing like a little whipped cream on top of the nuts.

The truth is out there said Fox Mulder….and this nobody says, there is usually some truth to a lie, because according to Goebbels, it spins better that way.

It’s just discerning the nuts from the cherries that are hard.

Tell me if you figure it out. I’m starting to melt.

Nobody’s Perfect; It has been reported that our illegal immigrants, who are coming here to do jobs “that no one else will do” (The President new revised mantra) has left 25 million pounds of trash in Arizona alone, to be picked up soon by Al Gore--- we hope. Hey, isn’t that trash messing up our environment and killing a few animals, Al? What, is it just Polar Bears you care about? How about all the poor mice getting sick off this stuff?

Nobody Knows; Hundreds of thousands of Shiites protested in Bagdad today saying “Death to America…Death to Israel!” and unlike the rest of the Muslim world, they were very well behaved. Did they think a couple of US bombers might unload by mistake?

Nobody Cares;
India today has banned Coke and Pepsi from being sold in their country unless they release the secret ingredient to their product.

Well, the big companies have been trying to get the US patent office to join into a One World Patent for everyone for years. This would be a good step for the big guys to give it up, like they want the little inventors to do. HA!

Nobody Wins; Wait..we are all suppose to die in 2012, and the Capitol is being moved to Colorado as we speak. What can I say? This means I can have another Hot Fudge Sundae, because it’s only six years off.

Friday, August 04, 2006

When In Doubt, Have a Shirley Temple

Nobody’s Opinion; “Oh, My… Goodness!”

No, it wasn’t Shirley Temple but Donald Rumsfield’s answer to Hillary Clinton’s staged attempt today to convince us all…that she is going to be a bulldog when she takes the reigns of Presidential power. The Pentagon grilling today was quite the rehearsal.

For one thing, Hillary has been practicing lowering her voice. The camera angle was perfect. Hillary is hard to take from the front, and finally someone has figured this out. You can even have the sound off and if Hillary is speaking, and she is facing the camera, her whiney voice comes into your head, almost like a silent scream from a Stephen King horror movie.

She is like the typical stupid social studies teacher that we all had in school. Every single social studies teacher acted like social studies was the most important subject in the world, when actually it was the most boring, and all the kids wanted to take it because it was the easiest subject to pass.

Hillary is a reincarnation of some social studies teacher that was shot by some kid who just couldn’t take it anymore.

And the speech she read (recopied into her own handwriting which the camera made sure you witnessed, so YOU would think that Hillary Clinton actually wrote that speech) was quite the convincing Presidential Kodak moment. She has never sounded more convinced of her own superiority.

This whole thing was carefully planned so she could make her mark… poor Mr. Rumsfield. Hillary wants his resignation.

Please…just think about how much more of this is coming our way.

I mean, who else in history already had their profile picture drawn and entered into the Smithsonian to go on a nifty new stamp before she had even served her first term as Senator? After the stamp we will have her image on the new North American CAFTA Dollar. And if that wasn’t enough, we had to have that silly headbutt, I mean head-bust which will probably be the very first thing you will see when you go into the new Capitol museum, being built right now for this very purpose.

Like her husband, she’s becoming more unbearable with every passing moment.

I remember back in the year 2000, I was visiting Washington D.C. for the first time, and having made my living as a musician, I was anxious to see the “American Music” section at the Smithsonian. I approached the entrance with great anticipation.

There I was…being the nobody that I am, shaking my head in disbelief, because the very first thing you saw when entering the exhibit, I’m not making this up…was Bill Clinton’s saxophone. Not Elvis’s shoes, not Chuck Berry’s red guitar, not Louis Armstrong’s trumpet…right there in the center of the entrance…was Bill’s famous saxophone.

I almost didn’t go in.

Yeah, Bill Clinton had a lotta hits in Arkansas, he just didn’t inhale.

Let’s just make them both King and Queen of the world and get it over with. Then let’s put them on the Titanic.

Did you notice how on every cable station they had Hillary, Hillary, and then Hillary? (Wait there’s Mel Gibson! should have gotten the Shirley Temple! )

You would have thought that only Hillary and Rumsfield, along with a few generals, were the only ones at this Congressional mandatory briefing of the Pentagon’s major “failings.”

I don’t care, I like Donald Rumsfield. He reminds me of every high school football coach that every lived. And I actually remember when you could go to your high school football game and get in for FREE. Everyone always liked and admired the high school football coach in the old days. He kept the boys in line. He was usually the smartest man on campus. The principals never got near them.

Rumsfield’s answer to Hillary was the typical…”You just don’t get it do you? We have been getting attacked for the last twenty years, and you and your husband just ignored it. Now I have to go and clean up the mess, and by the way, you guys downsized the military so much, that most of the top officers retired just to get out the hopeless mess you guys made, and what we inherited couldn’t have pulled off an invasion of Easter Island…and now because you want to be President, you made me come to this ridiculous public screwing, but everyone knows as soon as you become President you will just send your husband over to the Middle East for photo-ops so that he can finally win his *&$^#* noble prize, which is all he talked about all through his *&##$% book, while the world stays the same, and the fighting will stop for about a week, and then continue, because you people just don’t get it…good God.”

Actually, Donald didn’t say it quite like that…but I bet he was thinking it. At least he didn’t read a well prepared speech written by some democrat whose IQ was obviously a lot higher than Hillary’s.

And speaking of IQ’s: Did you know that Shirley Temple had one of the highest ever recorded? Now that’s one woman who would have made a really great President. All the years of devoted service that she gave to this country will never be known.

Because if Hillary becomes President, any sensible thing that any true patriotic servant of the United States might have done in the past, will be erased from history, and her picture will be on the front of all the college freshmen American Politics books. A class that will be mandatory (along with oral sex 101) to get your degree.

I actually saw my son’s mandatory American Politics college book once and I counted. 32 pictures of Bill Clinton, five of Hillary, and two of Monica Lewinsky.

Obviously, there will be a revised edition.

Gee…I can’t wait. America politics at the Clinton’s best…oh my goodness!

Nobody’s Perfect; Is it just me? Or did those generals remind you of some kind of cartoon characters out of Warner Brothers?

Nobody Knows; Today it was said that the United States will go in and train the Lebanese army, and give them everything they need to fight the Hezbollah. This is how we are actually, according to Ms. Condi, not getting involved. How much this will add on to the billions already being spent nobody even wants to guess, but the word at the Pentagon seems to be, “Money is no object.”

I could have used the Pentagon today when I got the bill on my air conditioning recharge for my car.

Nobody Cares; There was a story on the internet today about quite a few South Korean Christians who are being thrown out the brand new democracy of Afghanistan’s: the democracy that our boys died for.

They are being thrown out for the crime of being Christian.

What’s the matter Hillary… Jesus got your tongue?

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Merging With SCN

As you can see, this blogger has not slept in months as noticed in recent historical misdomeaners and various non-sensical ramblings.

To sleep...perchance to dream? Will Joyanna wake up in time witness Pat Buchanan turned Jewish? Will she dream about Mel Gibson being drunk on her sofa? Will NASA merge with Ford motors to make a new Shuttle?

Will people actually finally forgive Woody Allen and go and see his latest movie?

How long can you lay out in 105 degree weather without turning into luggage?

Tomorrow it will not matter, the world awaits a new pill to be invented so that sleep is not requried...until then, Joyanna sleeps with the dogs. Tomorrow I'll be back.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Just Ask Directions

Nobody’s Opinion; Since disappointing a reader this week because I happened to be a woman instead of a man, and also probably because he thought, “Topless in Lebanon” was going have a real pornographic picture---(After all, this was a men’s site.), I was seriously contemplating changing my name to JOE. But, I have a confession to make…

I don’t think I can spell it.

Why? Because I adore men, I woff them, I admire them, I idolized them. I’ve spend more than 80% of my life just trying to get their attention. I’ve done things I actually wasted too much time doing like…wearing short-shorts to ballgames.

I’ve spent hours in front of makeup mirrors trying to hide a blemish. I’ve been seen running to the bathroom right in the middle of a World Series Game, at the bottom of the eight when the game is tied, just to make sure my hair looked ok.

Yeah…stupid. Really stupid. But this is what men do to women. The competition is stiff.
It’s so stiff that most women don’t even talk to other women, unless it’s about how much so and so loves her.

And you thought housecleaning was boring.

Women can’t help being what they are, anymore than men can.

You think men have got troubles? Too many women, not enough time?

Anyone who’s been around a young woman of 26 (sometimes this starts at 13) who has just GOT to have a baby before it’s too late knows what I’m talking about.

It’s not a “biological clock ticking” it’s more like an “Armageddon tsunami calling.”

If she doesn’t have a boyfriend…she’ll search until she finds a donor. She goes out like a stealth bomber, her “donor” radar up and running…

You don’t stand a chance…especially if she is good looking.

“Hmmm…he looks good! He can be my baby’s father…I just won’t tell him It doesn’t matter if he’s married with three kids, I’ll take care of it.”

Do you actually think we want to be like this?

If you had to have a contest to see which hormone messes up the human brain more, testosterone or estrogen, it would be a close call.

Example--- High levels of testosterone can cause wars. But…picture a woman President on PMS making the war decision. Who do you think would have more logic? Get back to me on that.

I love men so much that there was a time when I was actually stood up waiting at various restaurants or bars for guys when I was single…17 times in a row! (Some kind of record) And I still could not hold anything against them.

Now, I must admit there are moments that I wondered just how in the world men can be on the cusp of genius and at then the very next moment have the IQ of mustard.

For instance, while girls are shopping for the perfect outfit, men are out seeing just how many objects can be shot out of a potato gun, besides a potato.

Both useless activities can take up a whole afternoon.

I’ve also wondered if there was a woman around who could talk about something besides what outfit she was going to buy. And since I’d rather talk about parallel universes or the possibility of Bill Clinton maybe not taking over the earth, I’ve always preferred the company of men.

A woman can ask a man anything... (If she is attractive) and he will tell her how to build a nuclear submarine. It’s true. A smart woman will go to the bathroom and take notes.

Ask another woman, and she’d rather see you dead, because you are showing cleavage and she is not.

But, I’ve always preferred men.

I wanted to be a boy when I was a kid. I was happiest in a tree, or playing touch football with the boys down the street.

I actually played with dolls once…a whole day. That was enough. Barbie’s boobs were too big, her waist too small, and if she had actually tried to walk, she would have fallen flat on her face because her feet were the size of a baby mouse.

You could spend two hours just trying to make those little tiny shoes not fall off.

Let’s face it, pretending Barbie has a crush on Ken is nothing compared to going down the street and looking for the local alligator, or for good coral snake to talk to. (I grew up near the Everglades) Or making a fort, or running cars through the sand.

And when I got pregnant I actually prayed for a boy.

Tell me, have you ever heard a woman, who is having her first child say… “I really want a girl.” Neither have I.

Sorry to disappoint the feminists out there who think they can do anything a man can do. I hate to point out the fact that history has proven them way off mark...

Let’s see, men have given society the pyramids, the space shuttle, planes, computers, electricity, urban cities, machines that move mountains, televisions, automobiles, bull riding, artificial hearts,, the printing press, Disneyland, our constitution, guns, and atomic bombs, sewers…god…and that’s just a few things.

They have also given us great comedy, books, sports, video games, swimming pools, fireworks, and worthless instruction manuals.

But, in all fairness, without woman, most men would be lost. For woman provide two of the most basic necessities for life…they not only carry the children, but basically feed them until they are at least full height.

Men might be the cars, but women are the roads. A car doesn’t get too far in the mud.

I know bad, analogy…but really, men have no sense of direction. And even though it’s not in man’s nature to give woman credit for many of the ideas in the world,(due to hormones again) without the woman’s support and doing all the things every single day to make it possible for the men to do what they do, we would not have gotten this far.

Why do you think Pocahontas was with Lewis and Clark…for the sex? They had no clue which direction to go. If not for Pocahontas, Jefferson would have had to send out two women to go look for them and bring them back.

Why do you think Columbus got lost and ended up in the Bahamas? There was not a woman on board.

Now, don’t get me wrong. Women have just as much brain power as men. (Even if it is wired a little different) It’s not our brains that make us so different, it’s our hormones.

Well, I do feel bad that that poor reader did not find what he was looking for. I certainly hope that doesn’t keep him from coming back to the site and reading all the wonderful men writers.

I’m not the only female on the site, but I do know, that all the writers on mensnewsdaily, love America, are intelligent, thoughtful, funny, and full of passion.

And I’m damn proud to even be included among them.

I am just so sorry that I can’t spell…Joe.

But, I can tell you which way to go…just ask, I have a great sense of direction.

Nobody's Perfect; Harry Paulson, our new guru of the U.S. Treasury, said that "America must welome competition, and not be protectionists." That is exactly why we have an $809 billions dollar deficit. I would like to point out that Harry is a man.

Nobody Knows' China has just built a new bunker for 200,000 citizens. In fact China has bunkers all over for it's citizens. Although, I'm sure dogs would not be allowed, due to the fact that they just killed over 50,000.

In America, only our politicians and their families have bunkers. (in case of a nuclear war) Something tells me the elites will have thier pets.

So, China will have millions of people and no dogs. America will have only a handful of people, but probably every animal know on the planet. Which they will have to trade to the Chinese for thier very lives, if they ever come out.

Nobody Cares; Bill Clinton has gone around today and got together with the mayors of Rome, London, Mexico City, Los Angeles and gotten them to pledge to cut greenhouse gas emissions.

"Our aim is simple---to change the world."

OK..I take it all back. These men should be replayed with women...and preferably a handful of nobodies.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Puckish Prosumers

Nobody’s Opinion; When Tim Berners-Lee (the father of the World Wide Web) wrote the software for Enquire, a program he wrote to help himself remember the connections between various people, computers, and projects---which he gave freely to the world, he was prosuming. When you’re listening to a very annoying recorded tape telling you to press number four to get technical help on just why you have not received e-mail in four days, (unheard of)…you are prosuming. When you go to an ATM to get cash, you are prosuming. And someday, when you perform brain surgery on your kitchen table, you will be prosuming.

What is this prosuming and why is it important?

Prosuming basically means all the work you do that you don’t get paid for. And in the boardrooms of the powerful and elites of the world, prosuming and prosumers are just about the most exciting thing since someone figured out how to make a fortune off of bottling the water that you could get for free out of your faucet.

The marketing of the New World Order knows no limits of genius.

They’ve have basically found a nice word to call slave labor, and at this moment are introducing it as the “progressive” economic future, in books, and universities.

Like the Hamas getting the young boys primed to sacrifice themselves, the globalists will be introducing this new “third way” concept to the western world in hopes that you will feel great the next time you donate your time and work for free.

It’s just a form of communism…but your not suppose to know that.

In Alvin Toffler’s book “Revolutionary Wealth” he explains how nobody is really measuring this new and future “wealth” that is right there to be harnessed.

He really makes it sound so exciting.

Alvin Toffler is your sociologist/humanitarian/controller mouthpiece for the globalist’s planners of the New World Order. He writes this book, like he is writing the history of the world and just reporting the facts.

According to him, mankind has gone from agriculture (dumb farmers), to horrible industrialists (which polluted the earth), and now we are coming to the new third wave which is “prosumers.”

You see, prosuming is basically man working for free. It’s what a woman does when she takes care of a house and raises the kids and doesn’t get paid for. It what you do when you pump your own gas. (Thereby saving the gas companies millions by getting rid of service people.)

The more the wealthy can make YOU do the job for them, and still pay them for the service that you are having to do for yourself… the happier they will be. Instead of them creating jobs and having to pay people to do those jobs…they will just get you to do the jobs for free, and thereby making more money for themselves.

Okay, that’s capitalism you say? Yeah, but the playing field between the rich and the poor will just get bigger and bigger. And the poor nobodies will become more stressed out, with less money, with more to do, and less time to do it.

Take Tim Berners-Lee for example. Think of the money he could have made by not giving away his programs for the World-Wide-Web.

Now, think of all the money he has made for AOL, Microsoft, and thousands of other companies who are now making loads of money off his invention.

Tim Berners-Lee is one prosumer they truly love.

I’m not saying that I personally don’t appreciate the gift. But, the globalists have decided that this “do it and donate it for free” so that the right company can come in and take it over---is the way humanity will grow and should grow.

They think it’s just wonderful; unfortunately the nobodies of the world are not so excited about it.

Is your gas any cheaper now that you have to self-serve your car, sometimes in the middle of a blizzard, or even a heat wave? No.

Do you ever find out what’s wrong with you when your doctor’s gives you five minutes of his time? No.

Do you like sitting on the phone for hours, trying to get someone at customer service, because the company is saving money on not having to pay phone operators? No.

Are you happy if your child has a headache and you go to your local emergency ward, but have to sit for eight hours…only to have your child maybe die because the gunshot victim took precedent over your child’s headache, which turned out to be meningitis? No.

These are the ways that the big companies are finding out how to make the people of the world get stressed out--- by having to diagnoses their own medical problems, fix the computers themselves, and rebuild their own home after the hurricanes.

They think it’s wonderful because now they have a whole new way to make money.

There are no savings; there are huge credit card debts. They know this. So, where is the new market?
Why in the “Do it yourself.”

The future is in Knowledge, and since knowledge always becomes obsolete within months, the globalists know there will never be a shortage of prosumers

The goal seems to be one big world of elites controlling and selling knowledge to a world of prosumers. Knowledge is gold.

What’s wrong with that?

Millions of jobs are being elimated, and in the future, we might even have to grow our own food in our backyard.

We now bag our groceries ourselves and think we are saving money.

Knowledge is the new global market, and those who control the knowledge will control the world.

After all, money is just a number on a screen, created out of thin air, with nothing backing it up. All the real gold seems to be in Saudi Arabia. Who knows what FDR did with the United States gold.

I just wish they would have found a better word…I would have preferred…slave.

Nobody’s Perfect; Bill Clinton got together with the people who worked with him on his “globalization” policies. They had to admit that millions of Americans lost their jobs due to Nafta, and his China politics…they admitted they made some mistakes. Still, there is no way now to stop globalization. That was their conclusion. This nobody says… what’s a “few” mistakes, when you have a chance to make trillions?

Nobody Knows; It sure seems that the same rich people are always getting together? Is it just me? Rupert Murdoch had a get together at Pebble Beach with Tony Blair, Bill Clinton, Al Gore, and Arnold. Do you think they were “prosuming?”

Nobody Cares; What’s really funny is that most of us are excited about going to Home Depot or buying our own stocks online, or booking our own travel….even if we don’t have a clue about what we are doing, as far as we’re concerned, we are saving money. And yes…it is fun.

I’m still trying to piece this prosumer stuff together. It’s kinda like anything else, there are pro’s and con’s…the main thing is I really resent only a handful of people controlling what the rest of the world does, buys, and how we will live.

But, history shows, it’s nothing new.

Monday, July 31, 2006

Topless in Lebanon

Nobody’s Opinion: Don’t you just love it? Just when you thought that things could not get more absurd…they do. Maybe instead of seriousness, we should be approaching our world problems with equal absurdity? I have a plan…as you can see from the title.


Thanks to Mike LaSalle, the news that 30 Scandinavian woman went topless in Albania, on a beach, (came to my attention) and the fact that the “police only watched” for about 2 hours, is a good absurd place to start.

Thirty blonds, topless on a beach.

Oh…we can have fun with this one.

This could give the human race hope. We can deduce that these policemen were Muslims because evidently, just bathing on a beach in public is forbidden in Albania, let alone having group topless sessions. Those poor policemen.

Sometimes, it has been noted, some women just love to go topless in public. Here in Missouri, on any given weekend, all you have to do is take a few beads down to the local river, where the girls are bathing, and they will more than likely, flash for beads. It was front page news here on The Post Dispatch. Sales have been really bad.

This means we will have guys hanging around the Mississippi with beads probably until mid-November.

Personally, I’ve never understood it this compulsion. But my uneducated guess is, it’s the one time in their lives some girls actually feel powerful and in total control over men.

I remember once, back when I was a drummer in a band, three young girls, who were dancing in front of our band one hot summer night (There were four guys in the band, and one girl…me) took off their tops and danced for about as long as the guys could possibly play. Actually, I think it was the longest rendition of “Start Me Up” that has ever been performed.

But, here’s the catch. It was against the law. The manager keep going behind the bar and making himself drinks. Within an hour “Start Me Up” had morphed into a free-for-all, everyone in the band took a 30 minute solo…. The bass player didn’t break a sweat. The guitar player just kept smiling. Have you ever noticed that men do not talk during public observations of the female naked form?

This comes from years of practice.

It’s good to hear that even Muslim men will do the same thing as American men when faced with the question; do I stop this? Nah.


Forget the New York Times--- USA Today has joined the ranks of complete liberal bias. Now you would think that with the USA in the title, the paper would actually represent our country. Oh sure, it’s easy to read. But the pictures say it all.

I’ve been looking at the online photos for a week, and you would think you are actually seeing a paper from Iran. There were about 12 photos of the war, and every single one of them had the poor citizens of the Lebanese dying…babies, women, body bags…and in the one photo of the Israeli’s, those mean Jews are looking at a bomb cloud in the distance…in Lebanon.

Now, since the USA Today is bias and totally against the Jewish state, don’t you think an article would appear applauding Mel Gibson recent drunken comments? After all, his statements seem to be in total agreement with the papers view, which is…Israeli is a war mongrel.


Speaking of Mel Gibson. The comment about how Jews have started all the wars does complete injustice to Attila the Hun, the Romans Ceasars, Alexandra the Great, and most importantly, Fidel Castro. The other guys, if alive would be TOTALLY insulted…Fidel on the other hand, will probably send Mel some cigars and pictures of Che’.

Actually, I liked it when he called a police officer...”sugar tits” I wouldn’t mind being called “sugar tits.” What’s wrong with that? He could have said…”doggy tits” or “ugly tits” or “disproportionably not in synch tits.”

The officer must have been a feminist.


The UK is dismantling their Child Support Agency. I guess over in England the state supports the kids, not the parents. This is the first time I even knew about the law, which is probably because if divorced men here in the states would have known about this law, London would have had an invasion of real American men.

The welfare system has cost them so much that they have decided to stop it.

They are discussing putting electronic chips into every parent now, who doesn’t pay the support for their child. Well, somebody has to start this chipping nonsense.

And because that is probably the one really good idea to come of electronic surveillance, you can be sure it will never happen here.


Now…on this Israeli bombing and killing 56 innocent woman and children that has been on the news all weekend---Here’s the absurdity… evidently, the Muslims care so little about their own woman and children that they will fire rockets right next door to where they are holding them, basically signing their death warrants.

The only possible explanation for this is…polygamy. These guys can have four wives, and so if they lose one or two…they still have more. This nobody bets that their favorites were out of the country.

If they only had one wife, maybe they’d be a little more careful.

Let's hope polygamy doesn't catch on here girls.

So here’s a plan. Instead of shooting rockets, we could get some Scandinavian woman and some patriotic blond strippers, to go over to Lebanon, get them near the Hezbollah, and let them take off their tops. We can skip the bathing. I’m guessing we need around 4,000 girls. That should do it.

That would give at least two hours for the Israelis’ to go in and clean the rest of the Hezbollah out, without killing anymore woman and children.

I suggest we get Bill Clinton working on this right away. Hey…what? Won’t work? How do you know?

Nobody’s Perfect
; That picture of Madonna singing on her huge cross, with all her clothes on, shows she is really losing it. I don't get it. She puts out a book of nudity, and then, this. If she is going to imitate Jesus, she should have just a loin cloth on and nothing else, which would double her sales.

What’s the matter Madonna…getting old? I thought you were an “artist?”

Nobody Knows; This is Doug Powers’s birthday! He is still a young pup! And just about the best and funniest writer in all America! And if that isn’t enough, he is a brilliant observer of the truth! Not only is he an original voice, he is just about right on every subject. He never fails to come up with some line that makes you laugh so hard, you forgot that you were suppose to be upset about the world. Doug is a rare talent, and it’s only a matter of time before he becomes a household name.

In fact, if you are upset about anything in the news, go to Doug…he will not let you down.

Actually, I would like to send Doug 40 Scandinavian topless girls for his birthday, but I’m sure he is perfectly happy with his wife and kids, who are lucky to have him. Besides, I don’t have the money right now.

So--- everyone reading this, hurry over to Doug’s site or one of his posts and send him a Happy Birthday, along with a check…made out to me. (Just kidding)

Have a great Birthday Doug…This nobody thinks you are a True American Hero.

Nobody Cares; With all the anger lately that has been going around about the feminists, remember--- it was the feminists who started the women going braless.

Be sure and thank the next one you meet guys.

Hey, I like bras. But, it seems they are rare in Albania.